confusion // elmax

Chapter 1 - feelings

Max POV

"Max! If you don't hurry up we're gonna miss the movie!" El yells at me from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Yeah yeah I know, just a minute!" I yell back. I take a look in the mirror one more time. I look ok, but I still feel like I don't look good enough. I don't even know why I'm stressing over this. I'm only going to the movies with El.

Lately I've just felt- different, though. For example, she'll touch my arm and I'll get this weird fluttery feeling in my stomach. Or she'll look at me and I'll look at her and it'll take effort to tear my gaze away from her. I've sort of always felt this way around her, but lately the feeling's only grown, to the point where it's too hard to shrug it off. She's just so beautiful. That's not a weird thing, to admire someone's beauty. But is it weird to do that to a girl? 

I've never admired a boy's looks before, not even Lucas's when we were dating. But I was admiring El even when Lucas and I were dating. Back when she came to me for help with Mike, who was being an asshole as usual. 

I always liked that. She came to me, the terrifying badass Eleven Jane Hopper came to me for help. It felt nice to know that she trusted me, and it felt awesome to be her friend. It still does. I remember our first sleepover, after we'd been at the mall all day. That whole first week of friendship was a type of euphoria I've rarely ever felt again. I'm sure that's just what this feeling is. The feeling of friendship. I'm just making stuff up because... I'm not sure why. My brain has been a mess for ages, so that's a pretty good excuse. Reason, Max! Not an excuse, a reason! Damnit. I really need to snap out of this.

"Max! I will leave without you, and I mean it!"

I quickly step out of the bathroom before El decides to keep her promise.

"Let's go, then. We don't want to keep the others waiting."

She grabs my hand and pulls me outside her house and down to our bikes. I feel my face get hot and my body tingly when her hand touches mine, but I brush it off as nothing. It is nothing. I'm sure.

We get to the cinemas and the boys are already there hanging around.

"What took you so long? We were waiting forever." groaned Will.

"Sorry, someone took ages getting ready." explains El.

"Huh. Typical." huffs Mike, putting his arm around Eleven. She shrugs him off.

"Says the person who took over an hour to get ready for the Snow Ball last month. You took longer than me!" I almost laugh at Mike's facial expression when El says this, but I keep it in.

"Whatever. Let's just go or we'll miss the movie." he grumbles.

We go in and the movie has already started. I'm sitting on the edge next to Lucas. I wanted to sit next to El, but she took the other end and Mike got the seat next to her. Out of the corner of my eye I can see him keep trying to kiss her, and her pushing him away. I don't know what makes me angrier, the thought of them kissing or the fact that Mike doesn't give up even after El has clearly said no. I'm tempted to go up and make a scene, but my common sense gets the better of me and I sink back down into my seat, fuming. Lucas looks over at me, concerned.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing! I'm fine!" I shoot back. I broke up with him over a year ago. He was fine with it, but sometimes he treats me like we're still dating, which gets annoying really fast. I just don't like him like that. At least we're still good friends.

When I get back to my house after the movie I sit on my bed and think about everything that happened. Why do I care so much? I mean, of course I cared, my best friend was being forced by Mike to kiss him when she obviously didn't want to. But... why does even the thought of them kissing consensually make me mad? Possibly even more mad knowing that she'd want to kiss him. 

I don't like her like that. I'm not- not gay or anything, am I? I don't think there's anything wrong with it, I mean Will definitely is and he's normal, but society disagrees. And society is scary enough as it is. I'm not gay. I just care about El because she's my best friend. I care about all of her, right down to her sense of style, way of speaking, the way she acts, her shoulder length brown hair, her chocolate eyes, her soft lips...

NO! I'm not gay.

Frustrated, I lie down and try to go to sleep.

First chapter. Want more?

Because ohhhhh boy I have more

Ur fav gay elmax shipper :)