The flower in my throat

School

(Disclaimer: there is internalised homophobia in this chapter and maybe onwards. It all adds to the story sorry)

Ray had been dreading going to school especially since he got little to none sleep. He sighed and got dressed before grabbing his bag. He walked downstairs having some breakfast before he got dropped off, having to listen to his mum the whole way.

"Tell us if it gets worse"

"I will"

"If you need anything go to the office and get them to call us"

"Alright"

"And try not to let others know about this. I know Emma and Norman know but that's it"

"Yea I got it. Can I go now before I'm late?"

"Alright see you later"

"Mhm" ray got up and walked into the school, immediately going to his dorm room avoiding meeting Emma and Norman in the morning like always. Slightly not in the mood to react but mainly not in the mood for something to set off the coughing this early in the morning. He sat down at his desk in the back and waited for the day to start.

After two and half long hours, it was finally break so Ray went to the library to have a look around and find a new book to start. He sighed not finding anything of interest so headed out to the fields, passing Emma and Norman trying his hardest to not be spotted. Emma noticed Ray and ran over to him forcing him to stop.

"Ray! I thought you weren't in today. You didn't meet us this morning like always. Have we-"

"I was running late"

"Oh right. Overslept again?"

Ray internally sighed in relief that Emma believed him "yea I did"

"Right, well come on" she forced him to come over to where she was sat. Ray sat opposite the two and felt the awkwardness between himself and Norman trying to ignore it. He zoned out from the conversation, trying to avoid eye contact with them both. He eventually got fed up so stood up and walked off. Emma sighed and watched ray

"Something's happened Norman. He's avoiding us and doesn't want to talk"

"Emma he probably just needs time alone to process everything. It's a lot to be told that you have a disease you could die from and you can't really do much to stop it"

"I guess. Alright well I need to head to class now so I'll see you at lunch"

"Yea see you"

The two parted ways and Norman went to his lesson which he had with Ray so went over to the boy. He internally sighed when seeing him, ignoring his thoughts or at least tried to. He noticed ray leaned against the wall with his shut so stayed silent. The class started to go in so Norman tapped ray to wake him and show they were going in. Ray and Norman usually sat together but Norman decided to move seats making an excuse as he passed ray.

"Sorry ray im going to sit at the front in struggling to see the Board recently"

"Right"

The lesson went on and ray didn't focus at all. Just staring off into the distance, doodling in his notebook or on his hands. The lesson finally ended and ray walked off, not wanting to go to maths which was also with Norman. Norman didn't notice ray hadn't followed him till he got to his seat.

Meanwhile ray walked to the office and asked for permission to skip the lesson. After a while of reasoning they finally agreed so he sat in the room and let the hour pass.

He let himself get lost in his thoughts, finally seeing it was lunch so walked off the cafeteria to be first and got his lunch sitting down at a random table. Ignoring the looks he got, Emma finally joined him and smiled trying to start a conversation but saw ray wasn't in the mood so let it die down. She saw Norman and got up to give him a hug, ray panicked grabbing a napkin to cough into as he started to feel the burning sensation. Emma walked back over seeing Ray coughing placing a gentle hand on his back seeing how much discomfort he was in.

"It's alright ray, get it out. I'm here for you"

Ray managed to cough a few petals up and hid them in the napkin, thanking Emma with a nod. She smiled at him, placing her hand on his.

"Ray if you ever need anything feel free to come around okay? I want to help you"

She sighed as he stayed silent and ignored her getting his phone out but chuckled slightly when she got a message a couple minutes later

"Oh I see okay." She nodded and read what she was sent.

Ray: Emma I'm sorry.. I'm making it awkward between all of us. Sorry