The Big Mansion on the Hill

♠|Chapter 24|

Blake's POV

I woke up to the sound of voices in the kitchen.

As I sat up Fin looked over at me. "Good morning Blake!!"

She rushed over to me, most likely realizing that I would need help getting in my wheelchair. It is easy getting in one if I am in a bed because I can lower myself into the chair. But starting on the ground, I can't push or pull myself up.

"So how're we doing this?"

"Just pull me up by my hands until I'm on my feet, and you can help me walk over to my chair. I can slightly walk, a few years ago I took Jon up on his offer of trying to learn how to walk again. It helped a little, but I cannot stand on my own or for long."

Finley nodded in agreement, and I could see Ryder in the kitchen, I knew he was listening. I did not want him to think about the conversation at dinner and think that I was faking. Finley pulled me up and I held onto her to walk toward my chair and not so gracefully fell into it.

"So, what are you guys doing?" I asked as we made our way to join Ryder in the kitchen.

"We were just making breakfast, french toast," Ryder said.

"Need any help?"

"Nope," Ryder replied.

"I have to go to the bathroom real quick, don't eat all of the food." She glared at Ryder.

He raised his hands as she backed out of the kitchen slowly, staring Ryder down.

Once Finley left I turned to Ryder. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing good, probably the best I've felt in the past 2 years. Holding all of that hasn't been helping me, and now I know how to help myself get better."

"Well, I am glad that I helped you, and in return kind of helped Finley. I know it is early, but have  told her yet?"

"No, not yet. I plan on doing it today though, mainly because I know that she won't kill me with you around. And you'll be here to help her calm down."

"You are smarter than you look, I will give you that."

"Ha ha, shut up." He rolled his eyes but still laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" Finley walked over to Ryder's side and wrapped her arms around his waist.

He turned in her arms so that they were facing each other. "Oh, no reason babe." he pecked her lips. I smiled at their cuteness.

"aw," You guys are adorable, they turned to me staying in each other's arms

"Well, I'm starving, so, let's eat," Ryder said grabbing the plate of french toast and walking to the dining table.

Finley and I followed him. Finley moved one of the chairs so that I could wheel myself right up to the table. Then she sat down beside Ryder, across from me.

"Blake, I've been wondering, what does it feel like? Your legs?"

"Ryder, you can't ask someone that!" Finley said exasperated.

"It's fine Finley, I don't mind it. I cannot really explain it. It is kind of like a dead weight. From my waist down, I cannot feel anything aside from pins and needles and phantom pain at random times.  And when I walk, it is like dragging heavy weights, to explain it as best I can. I do not know if that makes any sense, I do not really know how to explain it in words." He nodded in acknowledgment.

"What were you two talking about in while I was in the bathroom?"

I looked over at Ryder. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Finley looked back and forth between the two of us looking slightly scared.

"I'm going to take the dishes over to the sink and leave you two to talk," I said looking at the couple.

They went to the living room and I went over to the sink. I was going to wash the few plates that were used but then remembered that i cannot reach the faucet si iset them on the counter by the sick for one of them to wash later and then decided to go to my room to give them some privacy.

Ryder

"Ok, so you need to let me talk and not interrupt, ok?"

"Ryder, you're scaring me. What's going on?"

"There's something that I should have talked to you about a long time ago."

"Ok, go ahead, I won't interrupt you."

"I know the past 2 years have taken a toll on you, and I have been with you through all of it, but -"

"I knew it, you're finally realizing that you don't want to be with me, you want to be with someone less defective."

"What? Hell, no. I am not leaving you, I have told you millions of times and will continue to. I. AM. NOT. LEAVING. YOU. FOR. ANYTHING. EVER. ok?"

"Ok, i'm sorry that I cut you off, please continue."

"I have been trying to help you and push myself off to the side, not thinking about me and my mental health and how this is affecting me. I have been so caught up in ensuring that you're okay that I've been lying to you. I'm not doing as good as I have led you to believe, I'm not doing well at all."

I took a deep breath. "I didn't think about myself because I didn't believe that I was allowed to be hurt. You were the one that physically lost the baby and blamed yourself for it, but I'm not going to lie to you again. There have been times when I wanted to end everything, multiple times. I came so close to once, but then I reminded myself that I coulnd't leave you to deal with this alone. Last night Blake saw me crying and took it upon herself to help me."

"She helped me last night. And she taught me something to help. It works, this is the best I've felt in a long time, honestly."

"Ryder, how could you keep this from me? Now I feel like shit for being selfish, keeping all of the attention on me, I didn't think twice when you told me you were fine. I'm so sorry." Finley was crying.

"Why Ryder, you can't not tell me these things, baby. I can't lose you, I don't think I would make it if you killed yourself."

"I know baby, I'm so incredibly sorry for keeping this from you. I will try my best to tell you everything from now on. No more secrets, ok? Between either of us."

"Deal" She smiled at me.

"Come here." She got up from where she was sitting and leaned onto me.

I hugged her to me tightly. "I love you. I love you so fucking much." I held her face in my hands and kissed her.

I kissed her with so much passion, and she did the same. We put all of our emotions into that kiss, all of our love.

The kiss went from slow and passionate to rushed and heated. I pushed Fin back gently until she was lying down and I was hovering over her.  Our hands roamed each other's bodies. One of my hands landed on her waist and the other on the side of her face.

She stuck her hands up my shirt and trailed them up and down my chest and abs. She took her hands out and rested them around my neck tugging on the hair at the back of my head. I groaned into her mouth.

Our tongues fought for dominance until I finally won. We broke apart only for Finley to pull my shirt over my head and reconnect our lips. I went to take off her shirt but remembered that we had a guest.

"Wait, wait, as much as I want to do this and keep going, Blake is currently only a few rooms away," I said out of breath staring into her eyes and moving a lock of hair that was in her eyes.

"Then let's take this to our room. The walls are thick, and I'm pretty sure she knows what we are doing, so I don't think we will have any issues with her hearing us."

I got up as quickly as possible and scooped her up bridal style making her let out a small scream. I ran to our bedroom and locked the door.

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1364 word count

- A

(edited)