Sandwiched- Stuck In Between

Twelve

        I look at their expectant faces and start singing Diegos favourite song cos I've sang it to him multiple times so I should be good right.... ?

"You were loved before you had arrived  and every...."  I start singing but stop midsentence as Phil starts to pack  his stuff and stands up to leave.

Wait is that supposed to happen during an audition, oh no I've got to think fast . I didn't want to do this cos I feared I may cry and i didnt want that to happen infront of people, but I guess I'll have to, it was the first song I ever taught myself to play on the guitar after mama passed.

" Loving can hurt...loving can hurt sometimes But it is the only thing that I know....."

Phil stops walking abruptly with his back turned to me, but I still go ahead this time.

" So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans ..holding me closer till our eyes meet...you won't ever be alone ..wait for me to come home."

As I sang the last words I try so hard to hold back the tears that threatened to show themselves.

"When I'm away I will remember how you kissed me under the lamppost back on sixth street, hearing you whisper through the phone wait for me to come home."

I finally open my eyes which had been closed the entire time to meet the principals very surprised face and Theo's, who turns for just a brief moment to stare at me but after catching himself staring he quickly turns and wallks away. In that brief moment I see a lot of pain and hurt in his eyes, and I don't know what that feeling is, but I just want to walk up to him and  hug that pain away if I could.

"Miss Alvares that was quite impressive"

I redirect my attention to the principal

"Thank you"

"Well they definitely saved the best for the last,  welcome to the music club"

WHAT....I made it in?

"Thank you very much sir "

I say happily and leave the music room right after the principal does to find Josh waiting for me outside.
He gives me the biggest bear hug I have received in a while.

"Wow that was so good Lola ,I was feeling the feels you know"

He says as we both laugh

"Thanks Josh" I say

We're still laughing as we get to the parking lot.He suddenly stops when we get to the car and that causes me to stop too.

"You really are impressive Lola aren't you?"

He says this time, more seriously with a little smile on his face as he stares at me . I cower under his stare and lower my head as I tuck  my hair behind my ear. I raise my head a bit to catch him still staring and he scratches the back of his neck as he looks away.

"We should get going I finally say to ruin what I felt was definitely a moment."

"Yeah...."

He agrees as we both awkwardly get into the car.

"Uhmm....Where's Phil?"

"Who"..he asks confused

"I mean Theo"

"Oh don't worry he's okay, he took an uber "

"Oh..."I say confused was I really that bad?.

"Well at least I get to ride shortgun"
I say with a smile as I try to hide the worried expression on my face.

I thought the car ride was going to be awkward but Josh actually did make me comfortable with his attempts at singing whatever was playing on the radio and well  he wasn't a very good singer. We kept laughing till we were almost reaching Josh's house which was just a few houses away from mine. Phil was standing  casually on the driveway signaling for Josh to stop.
He bends down to the window level and looks in my direction not really  meeting my eye this time.

"Rehearsals are every Saturday at the schools music room. And if you're late don't even bother showing up ever again."
He stands back up and walks to the house.

Okay what was that,and how does he even know I was picked because he walked out of the place.
Josh drives me the rest of the way home  and we part ways.

I enter the house and find Lisa and Diego expectantly waiting for me.

"How did it go dear?" Lisa asks.

"I made it"  I say happily

"I knew you would Lola, did you sing Sandman?" Diego eagerly asks.

"Well technically I did"

"Told you .....now you're going to have to make me that pie".  Diego says to Lisa

"What you guys bet on what I was going to sing. "

"Well we knew you were going to get in no matter what you sang so betting on you getting in was pointless and besides I thought you were going to sing 'Demi Lovatos stone cold'."

Yeah right..wait how come I didn't think of that I've got to start speaking to Lisa more often.

"Well you've still got to bake that pie Lisa and of course make it bigger."

I say as I make my way upstairs to my room.I text Cassie to let her know what happened and that I made it in and about the sort of moment I had with Josh at the parking lot. She had so many questions and after hanging up I freshen up ,put on my headphones playing Boyce Avenue's cover of "Photograph" on repeat and close my eyes .
The tears I held back on the stage slowly come pouring out until sleep overcomes me and I fall asleep thinking of those pained icy blue eyes that do nothing but remind me of my own pain.