It's been a week since I was diagnosed with stage three lung cancer. My mother has gifted me about 10 kilograms worth of chocolate. If cancer doesn't kill me, this will.
I started chemotherapy. The doctor said I should expect hair loss in roughly about two to four weeks. I'm dreading the day I wake up to see clumps of my hair falling out. Your hair tells a story of who you are and what you've been through.
I have coffee brown hair. Basic, I know. But, I will honestly miss the days I could just let my hair down. It's very freeing.
But other than that, there's more side effects to chemo. My oncologist told me so many. But lately I've just been experiencing tiredness and fatigue. Hopefully, my side effects don't worsen.
To be honest, living in solitude in my hospital room isn't that bad. It's got some upsides. For example I'm loving this peace and quiet. And my room is very aesthetically-pleasing.
But then there's the downside. Like being alone with nothing but my crippling thoughts.
I am going to die. I mean, I might.
And I need to learn to accept that. But I can't. Call me selfish but, I don't want to be all on my own, I need my parents with me at all times. I'm scared. I don't know how to comfort myself.
Okay but, on the bright side, I now have a hospital crush. Kind of.
Like I don't really care for him, he's just there for eye candy.
He's the guy. You know. The boy I saw in the hospital. Yeah, him. Everyday, for the past week, I've tuned in at 2:47pm just to see him ever so slightly out of the tiny window etched in the door.
Honestly, it's a sport.
I do it because I'm bored. I just want to know what his story is. Who is he?
He visits everyday with tulips. Different colours everyday.
2:44pm
As we wait for him let's talk about the rest of my life. I mean what life? I'll be dead soon.
I've been itching to dance again. To put myself in the spotlight. Honestly that's where I belong, out there, being seen, known and remembered. I have this fear of dying and not being remembered. Truly terrifying. What is death if not the slow disappearance of memories of an individual? As soon as those memories run out. Then poof, you're gone. You can be physically dead but as long as you've got people on earth that remember you, you're alive. I want to be known for something. I want my name to live on for at least a few decades. Until it dies down. The lucky ones get remembered, the ones who impact history get remembered. But I don't know it's just a thought.
2:46pm
Okay, one more minute. Just wait.
2:47pm
Bingo.
There he is. This time the tulips are a variety of colours. Pink and white. This is my favourite batch of tulips so far.
He turned his face towards me. What? I'm scared. He noticed me? Well this is kind of awkward. We're kind of having a staring competition.
After he was finished intimidating me with that stern glance, he simply looked away and strode on.
Wow.
Despite that kind of threatening look he gave me, he looks kind. He exudes a kind of heart-warming aura that you just can't help but feel comfortable when you look at him.
He looks hopeful. And that's what I need in my life.
Hope.
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hey guys!
hope you liked this chapter. yes i know it's a little short but it's kind of like valeries life update.
i really hope you enjoyed this chapter cause honestly i think it's cute.
anyways tune in for more
word count- 644
29/08/22
YOU ARE READING
The Boy She Saw in the Hospital
Romance"Death isn't just one thing that happens and is over with. That description fits life more. Death is eternal. I mean that's how I view it. Death brings joy and pain. In my opinion life should be viewed as death is. The end. Death is the beginning. A...
