The Boy She Saw in the Hospital

chapter 21- drive

I missed his car. His car had a 'new car' type of smell even though it was so old.

Memories fill up the void in my mind while I look out the car window. Both good and bad memories.

Jacob clears his throat as a way to announce he will begin speaking.

"Uh, I'm so glad that you're okay and that you're safe." He says to me, eyes fixed on the road.

"Define 'okay' and define 'safe'," I shoot back.

He gives me a concerned glance, looking me up and down just to make sure I'm okay physically then returning his eyes to be fixed on the road.

"Why, what's wrong?" Jacob asks me, anxiety invading the peaceful expression which lay on his face.

"Stage 4, Jacob," I utter out, eyes looking anywhere but at his.

"Valerie, I-" He tries to speak but I cut his words off.

"No, I don't want you to speak. Let's just sit in silence. Please," I beg him.

He abides by my wishes and silences himself.

After a while, he breaks the silence by putting on the playlist that he made for me.

'Space Song' by Beach House starts to play and it takes me on a nostalgia ride as I recollect the memories of us listening to this song.

This song played when we were driving to the hospital. It played the day his mother died. I look over to Jacob, worried that he might react badly as this is the last song he heard before his mother sadly passed.

He takes a deep breath.

"This song is the musical embodiment of a shooting star." He looks at me and his eyes light up as he repeats the same words I said that very day.

He knows that I know that this was the last song before he lost his mother, so he looks over to me and he gives me an amiable smile. This reassures me that he's done some healing in Manhattan and that he's had some well-earned rest. A break from it all, a break from his life in Selbrook.

It makes me happy that he's happy. It makes me sad that he thought I was dead for those 2 years. A whole 2 years and he thought I ceased to exist, that I only lived on in his mind. That's so devastating.

"I'm fighting, by the way, I can beat it," I reassure Jacob.

"I know you can." He responds to me, his voice deep but full of kindness.

The melancholic song echoes in my ear.

I laze in the essence of the song and deeply listen to the lyrics and try to figure out why Jacob thought of me when he made the playlist.

'It will take a while
To make you smile
Somewhere in these eyes
I'm on your side.'

It took some time to get the barricade that he put between us out of the way, but it was all worth it when I saw his gorgeous smile.

'Tender is the night
For a broken heart
Who will dry your eyes
When it falls apart?'

Every single tear we've shed when we were together, we've always been there to wipe them away.

'What makes this fragile world go 'round?
Were you ever lost?
Was she ever found?'

Jacob Hiell, were you ever lost? Because I found you. Lost things are lost forever. They go unnoticed till the end of time, but I noticed you. I found you. I loved you. No, I love you.

Was I ever found? Did you ever find me? Do you love me the same way that I love you, because I hope you do. But the amount of hope I have won't change anything. It's all up to you Jacob.

Everything depends on you.

'Fall back into place."

I need to find my place in this world. Whether it's up in the heavens, living my life as a lost human or here. With you.

Your warm aura heeding to my every request. My requests of comfort.

I think I know what love feels like. In fact, I'm certain I do.

Jacob Hiell, you are the one I've found, now please find me.
19/09/22