The Boy She Saw in the Hospital

chapter 18- stargazing

The ball ended 5 minutes ago.

I'm seated in the car as Jacob drives. The silence is deafening.

It's that awkward silence that I've always hated, always despised.

"Can we agree to never talk about that kiss again," Jacob says out of nowhere.

"Why?" I reply, looking out the window and staring at my reflection.

"Um, because you didn't like it," He explains.

I turn to face him and notice the hurt expression on his face.

"Says who?" I smirk at him.

"Wait, then let's talk about it," Jacob insists, turning to face me.

I turn to face him too.

"No, you said you never wanted to talk about so we won't," I tease him and he begs to talk about but I shut him down each time.

Jacob pulls up at our stargazing park and he opens the car door for me.

He takes out the same picnic blanket we laid on when we first went here.

I take off my high heels and lay on the blanket, Jacob lays next to me.

"Your eyes resembled the stars tonight, they glistened," I compliment him. He stays silent.

We remain in this silence for a while until he speaks.

"I'm moving." He blurts out randomly.

"You're moving?!" I look into his eyes while I ask him this, scared that he'll confirm my question.

He nods his head in confirmation.

My heart feels heavy and my eyes start to sting. He can't be moving away. He just can't.

He's the only one I have in this world, my only friend.

I love him.

I love him so much. Too much.

I plaster on a fake smile so that he doesn't see how I really feel.

"I'll be moving to Manhattan to live with my aunt. It was my mother's orders that I do so, she wanted the best for me," He explains to me, bullets going straight through my heart as he says each word, "I'll start attending a private school with snobby rich kids."

"That sucks for you," I laugh, trying my hardest the hide the tremble in my voice, "When will you be moving?"

"Tomorrow."

Tomorrow. He's moving tomorrow. He didn't tell me anything. If he had told me sooner, we could have spent more time together. I would have cherished all our moments more. Why? He could have told me, it hurts that he didn't.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I don't try to hide the pain in my voice this time. My voice expresses how I truly feel.

"I didn't know how to tell you. I was scared of how you would react."

I blink away tears and bite my lip to stop myself from bursting into a pathetic mess of tears and sobs.

I notice him fidgeting with his hands which makes me smile softly.

I embrace him and I give him a kiss on the cheek. It feels so good to just hold him because it might be the last time that I do. I run my fingers through his hair and caress his face gently.

His skin feels like silk and his hair is a fluffy wonderland.

I decide that I need to tell him I love him. Platonically.

And romantically.

I love him both ways.

I love Jacob Hiell, I always have. I may not have payed attention to him as much as I do now but ever since I saw him in the hospital, I knew I loved him.

I don't believe at love at first sight and what happened at the hospital surely wasn't love at first sight. It was more of 'just at looking at you I can tell you'll play a major part in my life' at first sight.

I knew of his existence since the hospital but now that I've gotten to know him I cherish his existence. He means so much to me.

I open up my mouth so I can confess my love for him.

"Jacob, I lo-"

Just then I begin to lose touch of my senses. Lose touch of reality.

I collapse onto the picnic blanket, which breaks me and Jacob's hug. I miss our hug, I miss his warmth.

I look up and her the faint yells of Jacob. I see his tears eyes, still glistening like the stars.

Tears blur my perfect vision of him.

It hurts me. I hear him. But I can't see him, I can't talk to him and I can't feel him.

I don't know what's happening to me but all I know is that I seek for Jacob's warm embrace. I long for it. It's the only thing that will make me feel safe. Him in my arms, or me in his.

I want him to be with me till the end of forever.

I do, Jacob Hiell, I really do.

19/09/22