Counting on you (Suicidal Ash)

Uncertainty

I felt as if I was falling for a minute only but right after that I saw Greninja jump and run the cliff down as well as throw his tonge at me which rapped around my waist before he used a shurican at the wall and made a steping stone right after he got me into his arms.

Yeah I was pathetic and this was another failed attempt.

Oh what my life has become.

I am useless and an idot that couldn't get anything right.

Greninja: Ninja?

Me: I am *gulp* I am fine.

I had to gulp back the block that I had in my throat. I felt as if talking was starting to get really hard. No. It wasn't that talking was getting hard but I was starting to cry in front of Greninja. That was something I didn't wanted to do but I couldn't help it.

Greninja: Greninja. Greninja!

He put me down on the ground after running for a while and making sure we would get back at the pokemon center.

I better get back inside.

I already made Greninja's day worse.

There is no need to get Sister Joy shocked as well.

No words of explaination slipped my mouth as I walked back to the room with Greninja following me. It seems as if he was waiting for me to tell him what was going on but my heart felt heavy and I wasn't ready for it. In fact I wasn't ready to accept the reality for now. Not a sinlge bit of it at all. 

I should have died...

Is this someone mocking me?

Am I wrong in dying?

Or is it something else?

Greninja: Ninja!

Me: Huh?

Greninja: NINJA! GRENINJA!

Me: *sigh* I am fine.

He shock his head. It was clear to everyone else but me. I wasn't fine. That fact was soo obvious. There was no point in hising it even.

Me: I just... I don't wanna be here. Can't you understand this.

Greninja: Greninja!

Me: You want to know what happened?

A nod.

Yeah...

Of course you want to know what happened...

I don't tho!

I don't want to have it real!

I am such an idiot!

I am a mon-

Greninja: GRE-NIN-JA!

Me: Huh? 

For some reason, this time I felt as if he had read my mind. Was it possible tho? I didn't know. The only thing I knew was that when our thoughts aligned he would become more powerful. No we would become more powerful.

Me: By any chance, do you want to stay with me?

Another nod.

Me: Why?

Greninja: Ninja! Greninja!

I couldn't understand what he was saying but it felt as if he just praised me. It was another feeling that I haven't felt for a while and it made me smile at him for a bit.

Me: Do you think I am a good trainer?

Another nod.

My guess was right but I didn't get why he said that to me at all. It didn't make any sense in my mind. Pikachu and the others left me and abandoned me at a rescue boat and here this pokemon was saving me and staying at my side eventho I was soo pathetic.

Me: Don't you think that I am a monster?

He clearly shock his head and this time he came over to me to put his hand on my shoulder. Yeah he wanted to make a point and that was soo obvious that even if I wanted to be oblivious to it, I couldn't ignore it at all.

Me: But, But why? I mistreated you and the others.... I...

My voice cracked and tears started to whell up in my eyes as I broke down once again. This time Greninja hugged me as his trainer and friend. It felt soo good too that I just gave in. His skin was a bit cold and slimy but it was still better than nothing. I appreciated the warmth coming from this small guesture and he let me cry it out too.

Me: You know... I thought... I thought that I misteated you all... I thought... I thought that this... this was the reason... they all left me.

Greninja: Ninja?

Me: I thought... I was the reason for all this...

Greninja: JA!

He shock his head while screamin at me. All the while the weather outside worsened and the thunder was getting louder. Just his accitions alone made me rething everything again. I mean he just threw himself down a cliff to save me and for what? There had to be a reason and I was set to find it out.

Was I right or was I wrong?

I wasn't soo sure anymore and it didn't feel as if I was right anymore.

Was this all a mistake?!

Was it not me?

Was I not the reason for this?

Then... Why?

Why did they leave me if it isn't because of me?

But if it is because of me then why is Greninja saving me?

Who can I trust?

I am so confused?!

I am soo tired of this all!

I can't take it anymore.

Greninja: Ninja.

Finally after a bit of time, he let go of me but he guided me to my bed and once I was inside, he made sure that I was covered correctly before sitting right next to me once again. This wasn't the bahivour of someone who was forced to save me. This was the behaviour of someone wanting to help me. The reason why was just something I couldn't grasp at all.

Why would you do this?

Am I really worth it?

Was I wrong the entire time?

Did I...

No.

I can't be wrong.

It must be like this.... but...

I am not sure anymore...

What is right and what is wrong...

I wish someone could help me understand.