just lovers like we were supposed to be

ACT ONE: Part Three

Chapter Notes

this chapter is pure schmoop, to be honest. no warnings. enjoy ;)
EDIT: someone has requested i put a warning (which is always well within your right to do; if anyone ever thinks there's something i should warn for that i didn't because i either a) forgot to, or b) didn't think to, or c) didn't know to, always feel free to make the request, or let me know; i never want anyone to be upset by something i wrote, unintentionally or otherwise, so i always try to tag properly and provide proper warnings before the chapters).
the warning is for regulus making commentary that is biphobic/panphobic. it comes from a place from fear, as well as just...learning about how people can be different in their queerness (he's a repressed gay wizard, he's learning), and it has very little to do with him actually being panphobic/biphobic (he's not, he's just panicking), but this is resolved in-chapter and expanded on more later, i promise.
as a bisexual myself, ive heard MANY of these comments, and getting to write james' response to them had been rather empowering, but i think it's one of those cases where i, as the author, know what's going on in regulus' head and how he actually feels while you can only guess and assume at the moment, so i totally understand needing the warning!
to all my fellow bisexuals, and to all my lovely pansexuals, you are so valid and keep being you <3
See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Expecto Patronum," Remus enunciates slowly, leaning forward on his elbows to watch Sirius expectantly.

Sirius blows out a deep breath, then tries again. "Expecto Patronum!" Not even a wisp. Sirius groans and lets his wand clatter to the table. "Why is this so bloody hard? Moony, what am I doing wrong?"

"You just have to keep trying," Remus murmurs.

"I haven't picked it up either," Peter offers sympathetically.

"Yes, but you can form a shield, if not a full corporeal, at least. I can't even do that," Sirius grits out, scowling.

James shares a look with Remus. It's unusual for Sirius to struggle this much with any bit of magic, really. He generally picks things up really well, with an ease that tends to make most people bitter, much like James himself. They don't have to study as much as most, which they've perhaps taken for granted over the years. Remus and Peter are incredibly smart as well, possibly in a superior way to Sirius and James, because they actually put in the effort to be. When they run into difficulties, they know exactly how to work through them; James and Sirius do not.

In this case, Remus has surpassed them all. It took him all of one lesson before he got the full corporeal patronus, which honestly took James by surprise. Not because Remus isn't absolutely fucking brilliant—because he is—but because it takes a very strong, very happy memory to power the spell, and even James needed some time to locate one strong enough. Remus has undoubtedly had a rough life, this is just a fact, so it was a little unexpected. Although, upon reflection, maybe Remus' happy memories shine brighter because he has so many other, darker memories to wrestle with.

James has only seen Remus' patronus once, as they all have, because Remus immediately dashed it away as soon as he realized it was a wolf. James' patronus is a stag, much to his delight. He loves his glowing Prongs and is quite proud of it. Peter is getting closer, going from wisps to a full shield, so he's not far from getting it yet. Sirius, on the other hand… Well, his wand hasn't so much as glowed even a bit, not once.

"You'll get it, mate," James says softly. "I'm sure of it."

"What if—" Sirius swallows thickly and looks down, his lips pressed into a thin line. He fiddles restlessly with one of the books on the table. They're all in the library, tucked away between shelves with muffling charms so Madame Pince won't come swooping down on them. "What if something is wrong with me?"