Sanctuary | Tanjiro Kamado x Reader

6.

Your breath left you completely as your chest tightened intensely, tears spilling from your face. You would've asked yourself, "What's going on?" but your mind raced too much to think.

You didn't hear Aoi when she called and shouted your name.

You didn't feel when Aoi shook you either.

You didn't hear the thumping of footsteps as Zenitsu, Tanjiro, and Inosuke ran to your aid, nor did you feel the slap across the face from Inosuke to try to snap you out of your trance.

You didn't feel a thing and that slap, the yelling and shaking, all that was your father's doing. Everything that happened on the outside was inside your head. Inosuke's slap was a slap from your father. Aoi's yelling and shaking was from your father as well as the townspeople, ordering you to slay scary demons.

It wouldn't end no matter how bad you wanted it to. You were trapped.

You never felt rough hands pick you up bridal style, carrying you to bed, and hugging you from behind as you clutched your old sword close to your body.

~

You finally snapped out of it hours into the night, rough hands never moving from your waist.

You turned to see who it was and you were met with a warm breath tickling your neck, not even a centimeter away from his face.

"Tanjiro?!" you internally panicked. You questioned yourself, asking why you were there and what was going to when you finally remembered your meltdown. "Crap!" you thought, now remembering, squirming in Tanjiro's embrace.

Well, all that squirming must've woken him up because his beautiful, red eyes were now focused on yours.

"You're finally awake!" he cheered groggily. "We didn't really know what to do with you so I picked you up and brought you in here. I hope you don't mind."

"O- oh.. sorry about that.. thank you." you sheepishly thanked him, looking away - too embarrassed to look into his kind eyes.

"Don't be embarrassed Miss (Y/n), you couldn't help it."

"I- I know but uhm.. you're still hugging my waist.." you stuttered, face turning red. You were very embarrassed at the scene you made - and on your first day too - but at that moment you turned, you realized that Tanjiro was still holding you, causing even more embarrassment.

"Ahh - I -I'm sorry! I should've let go!" he panicked, unraveling his arms from around you, his face turning red as well.

"I- it's okay.." you said.

After a moment of awkward silence, Tanjiro spoke.

"So Miss (Y/n).. what happened?! Why were you so distraught?!" he asked, concerned.

You finally turned back to him, getting lost in his eyes. "I thought.. of my past.."

"How bad was it?"

You shook your head. "Let's get out of here, I don't want to wake the others up." you stated, getting out of Tanjiro's bed. As you did, only then did you realize that you had been clutching your old sword, immediately throwing it down. It made a noise loud enough to wake Zenitsu and Inosuke as you saw them sit up and wipe their eyes.

"Hey what's going on?" Zenitsu asked groggily.

"Yea, what the hell?" Inosuke added.

"I'm so sorry you two! I just dropped something. Please, go back to sleep if you can." you apologize.

Tanjiro gets out of bed and picks up your old sword, hanging onto it for you. You open the bedroom door and walk outside, Tanjiro following behind you.

"Are you ok Miss (Y/n)?!"

"I'll be alright, thanks. That sword is a part of my past. I didn't even realize I was holding it until I got out of bed. " you sigh.

"I see. Miss Shinobou told me to place it in your hands when she rushed over. She said it would help."

"She was right. It helps every time. I never wanted to see that thing again but it's inevitable, I guess."

"Why?!" Tanjiro questions.

You find a good place to sit and chat before sitting on the ground, patting the ground next to you for him to sit.

"Wait for us!" Inosuke yelled. "We wanna hear!"

"You idiot, we were supposed to be eaves dropping!!" Zenitsu scolded.

You giggled. "Take a seat then boys!" patting a spot besides you, opposite of Tanjiro. The two boys sat and you began.

"Well, my meltdown, as you know, was because of my past. Before I was born, my father's father was slane by a demon with blue hair. My father and his were demon slayers but my father was too afraid to slay the demon after it killed my grandfather, so he ran. He abandoned demon slaying and began drinking all day and night. Soon after, I was born. Because of my blue tips, my father thought I was the reincarnation of the demon that killed his father and hated me for it. He made the townspeople afraid, soon all of them turned against us and we never had money for food because my father wasn't allowed to work anymore and they wouldn't give us food. So when I was 4, my father began training me to be a demon slayer." you stopped.

Everyone was dumbfounded. 'How could someone do that to their own daughter' they all thought.

"How can you even become a slayer that young?" Zenitsu asked.

"I don't know." you sighed. "I went to final selection at 6 and somehow survived. I wasn't a perfect slayer by any means, but my father would beat me until I got every stroke, breath, and form right. To him, I was perfectly talented and an able bodied slayer, but to my mother, I was just a sweet little girl. My mother was sick and my father beating her didn't help. They would often fight about me slaying demons but my father would always win. While my father would tell me I was a cold hearted demon who needed to repent for the sins of my past life as a demon, my mother would say that I was a nice breath of fresh air - her sanctuary. My father's words were the ones that stuck though. My mother died when I was 9 but I couldn't properly grieve because my father would beat me for crying and send me on more missions so the townspeople would give us food. This went on until I was 15. Miss Shinobou found me when I was injured and brought me here. She housed me and taught me how to properly grieve and to nurse people. Whenever I would have these meltdowns, this would be the only thing to calm me so she kept it - my old sword." you said, looking your sword in Tanjiro's hand. "She told me to forget how to even hold my sword and I did. I guess the only reason I still cling to it is because it would be the only thing to stop my father from beating me. I would sleep with it so he couldn't kick me in the stomach at night. He didn't want to damage my sword and go hungry so he'd leave me alone." you teared up. "The reason I was so upset was because Tanjiro sounded like my mother and I had a flashback."

The three boys were astonished. Tanjiro's backstory seemed like a small inconvenience in comparison to yours. This hit them hard. All three of them jerking back tears as they looked at you in amazement and sadness.

"What are you supposed to say to that?" Zenitsu asked.

"I don't know." Tanjiro and Inosuke added.

I don't know.