closer to happiness than i've ever been

the fine line between comfort and intrusion

august 30th, 1989

"no, it's 27! the answer is 27!" dustin yells at lucas, who is sitting across from him on the couch, his algebra ii textbook lay on the coffee table in front of them.

"no, you idiot, you forgot to carry the one! it's 28!" i sigh and look down at my lined paper. somehow, i wound up with 89. i look to mike's paper and felt a little better, he ended up with -2,479.

"mike, what is that?" i say, giggling at him. he shrugs.

"uh- bad" he says, breaking into a quiet laughter.

"that's bad? i thought my answer was bad!" i say as he peers over at my paper. i smack my hand over it covering my work. "hey! no cheating." he tries to move my hand off the paper. i hold it away from him over both of our heads. he puts his hand on my thigh and reaches up for my paper.

"will you two stop flirting for like five seconds, please," dustin says plainly. lucas gives him a look. "what!" i knew he was just joking, although the jabs sent a brief sense of danger through my system, as if my fight or flight flickered on and off.

"i didn't say anything" lucas says.

"yeah, i know that, i'm not stupid, you gave me a look."

"no, you are stupid, because x is equal to 28!"

"first of all not it's not, second of all fuck you for that!"

"well why don't we ask mike and will!"

"i would, but they're too busy making out over there!"

max, who had previously been quiet, begins to laugh. everyone turns to look at the redhead. "what's funny?" mike asks, his face and voice deadpan. i feel a panic building in my chest, a sense of danger that was more than brief. since the school year began i felt it a lot, that somehow, someway, they knew. i know mike feels it too, he always gets defensive when anything of the sort comes up.

"oh- it's nothing, it's nothing- you guys are just both wrong," she says, still shaking with laughter. the panic i felt in my bones dissipates rapidly into a shared laughter.

"what do you mean i'm wrong!?" dustin asks, bewildered. "there's no way i'm wrong!"

"yes there is because you wrote the problem down wrong," max argues. "get your ego in check, okay?" dustin glares at her and looks back over his math book.

"son of a bitch!" he yells, glaring at max once more for good measure.

"say it!" she says, a smile of satisfaction spreading across her face.

dustin sighs. "you were right" he says quietly in defeat.

"i didn't hear you." she chimes.

"i said you were right!" he practically yells.

"well then what was the answer?" lucas asks.

"89," she responds with a sense of pride. mike turns to me, repeatedly tapping my shoulder.

"hey! you got it right!" he says putting his hands on my shoulders.

"you definitely didn't," i say.

"well- shh don't tell them that!" he says, but still loud enough so the rest of them could hear.

"what did he get," max says, cocking her head.

"guess" i say, coyly.

"28," she says looking over at dustin, who side eyes her.

"-2,479" i laugh. max raises her eyebrows.