closer to happiness than i've ever been

fourteen and aching

a/n: sorry ab the wait lol. ive been hella busy w one act stuff and projects etc etc. anyways happy midnights day, snow on the beach and mastermind slayed and i hope u like the chapter.

september 3rd 1989

i sit on the bathroom counter scattered with various hygiene products as he fumbles with the shower.

"how hot do you want it?"

"pretty warm."

my eyes feel heavy as i watch him get out two neatly folded towels. i've haven't showered with him since we were little. when we were young, we did most everything together. we mostly showered together after swimming or at sleepovers after we had played outside for hours and hours, becoming absolutely filthy. this was different for obvious reasons.

i begin to remove my clothes, starting with my socks. i hop down from the counter to remove the rest if my clothing with ease. i look up at mike to see that he's staring at the floor, away from me, his pale face is now a shade of pink, as if we wouldn't be showering together. i allow an audible giggle to slip.

"what?" he asks, a grin spreading across his face.

"you're adorable," i reply simply. he laughs shyly and blushes harder.

"for giving you privacy?" he asks. i raise my eyebrows at him. he seemingly realizes the error of his thought process. i make my way over to him as he stutters, trying to correct himself. "alright- i just thought that- that you wouldn't like it if i was staring at you when-" i place my hand on his face.

"it's ok, mike," i giggle before hopping into the shower. he follows shortly after, nervously smiling at me. he allows himself to finally look at me, ruffling a hand through his now soaking hair. it's only now that i notice the freckles dotting his bony shoulders and clavicle. i want to press my lips to them, but i don't. instead, i chew my lower lip; it's a bad habit of mine.

mike takes notice, gently pulling my lip from my teeth with his thumb. "will, don't do that, baby," he says softly.

"you're really beautiful," he says suddenly. "i love you... every part of you." his voice carries a sincerity i am unfamiliar with coming from mike; a soft, and sweet admiration, filled with every ounce of his being. i don't know how to react to being admired so dearly, so i don't. i just stare at him dumbly. we both break out into a shared laughter, breaking the air of sappy teenage romance.

"you're so..." i begin, shaking my head. he cocks his head, much like a puppy.

"i'm so what?" he asks, a charming grin donning his face. his black hair sticks to his fair face, dotted with freckles and healing acne. i tilt my head to meet his eyes, drops of water drizzling down his face like rain on a car window. pulchritudinous is the only word that comes to mind as i gaze at him. "i'm so what, byers?" he repeats.

"...stupid," i quip. he rolls his eyes as i titter at my own joke. he takes my cheeks into his hands. i scrunch my nose as he squeezes my cheeks slightly, inclining my head to place several kisses to my forehead. 

"you're stupid too, pretty boy," he says like an 'i love you', scratching his nails over my scalp. he sighs, looking over my features in a lovesick daze. i close my eyes, leaning into his hands. "can i wash your hair?" he asks softly. i nod.

his hands lathering the lavender scented shampoo against my scalp feel like heaven. foam runs down my forehead as he scrubs my hair. i like the feeling of being cared for, i always have. i feel the soap dripping past my eyebrow. "why'd you use so much shampoo?" i ask, half making fun of him.

"what do you mean? this is a normal amount," he says frankly.

"no it's not! look- i'm getting soap in my mouth" i say, sticking my tongue out and sputtering to get the sharp, bitter taste of soap out of my mouth.