Mystery of Love

2

It was 6:30 in the morning. Theo jolted out of his sleep. It was rare for him to wake up before his alarm went off. He barely slept the previous night because of the anxiety and nervousness surrounding the first day of school. It felt effortless to climb out of bed when falling asleep was difficult to begin with.

He sat in the corner of his bed, rubbing his sleepy eyes whilst trying to clear up his blurry vision. The sky was still pitch black though he could hear a koel producing a sharp, obnoxious bird call.

As Theo stood up, he subconsciously became aroused. It was a common occurrence in the morning.

He wondered if it was caused by the raging hormones during puberty or perhaps due to the rubbing against his tight pants. Apparently, he read somewhere that morning erections were normal and indicative of a healthy penis. He didn't understand how he could get a boner even in the absence of any sexual stimulation.

Theo clutched his manhood and rushed into the bathroom. He contemplated for a brief second before yanking his shorts down to the level just above his knees. He held his erection firmly and masturbated.

Closing his eyes and embracing the pleasurable sensations that took over his body, his hips jerked in the direction of his right hand. He let out a suppressed moan as he held his left hand over his right and wanked more aggressively. It took merely thirty seconds before warm semen splattered abundantly onto his hands and stomach.

This was Theo's self-care routine. He didn't enjoy doing it because he wanted to, it was more of something he needed to do in order to get rid of his lustful thoughts.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Theo repeated this to remind himself on a regular basis that it was a healthy habit which has helped to minimize feelings of guilt and shame. Although some Christians might not agree with this view, he decided to stick with what was best for himself.

Furthermore, his mother once claimed that homosexuality is a sin. Those words were stuck in his head for a long time. It made no difference whether his family would accept him for who he was or what the bible said about homosexuality. He already made the decision to accept himself for who he was. Whichever the case, he had long since decided that he would take his secret to his grave.

Theo came out of the shower with a renewed spirit of determination to confront the day. He put on his new uniform and left for school.

By the time he arrived, the sky had already transformed into an expansive, cloudless pale blue.

"Hi. What is your class?" A low, authoritative voice reached out.

"1-34." Theo replied.

"You are late so please hurry up."

𝘓𝘢𝘵𝘦? 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦. Theo retorted in his mind.

There were barely any students in sight so the majority must have arrived. He quickened his pace whilst searching for the location of his classroom. He was told that his classroom is at Block C. Climbing up the long flight of stairs, he now noticed numerous student helpers tending to students who lost their way.

Like the others, Theo was ushered by a kind senior who walked him to his classroom.

Upon entering the classroom, he felt the cold wind produced by the rotating ceiling fans brushing against his skin. The room was filled with unfamiliar faces who kept to their own devices. There was pin drop silence as no one bothered to strike the first conversation.

The setting of the classroom was a typical two-by-two seating. Theo found a sweet spot beside the window that provided an unobstructed view of the opposite garden.

Within moments of settling in, a familiar figure entered the classroom. Taking great strides in his steps, the boy noticed Theo and decisively took the empty seat beside him.

"Can I sit beside you?" The boy asked while already adjusting into his seat.

"I'm Jovan." The deep voice continued saying.

It was the stranger that he saw on registration day. Upon closer inspection, he realized that the boy looked significantly bigger than him, considering that they were the same age.

Theo instantaneously matched the boy's resemblance with Nick Nelson from Heartstopper. It felt like the opening scene when Charlie first met Nick.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵. Theo quickly dismissed the idea of them as a couple. After all, what did he know about love?

He had never been in a relationship before. Besides, every man he ever trusted in the past had hurt him. Except for his father, being the only male figure in his life capable of making him feel truly loved.

He could remember every inch of his childhood memories. His father would hold his hand and they would imagine drifting away on a hot air balloon. It was his way of making him fall asleep. After an exhausting day of work, he would return home and push his forehead against his - a relatively odd way of showing affection. But it was because of his huge head to body ratio that perhaps sparked some sort of cuteness aggression.

A strong wave of Jovan's cologne scent jolted Theo back to the present.

"Damn, I hate it here. I'm supposed to be with my friends in another school. This school isn't exactly one of my top choices." Jovan expressed.

Theo was taken aback by how quick he was to speak. They hardly knew each other, yet they were among the few to initiate a conversation. However, it was mostly Jovan sharing about his personal life and Theo listening attentively.

When Theo actually did speak, Jovan would look at him intently with dilated eyes. Theo could sense that he was being particularly kind to him. However, he didn't have second thoughts about it. 

Before long, Theo felt uncomfortable with all the attention he was receiving. The conversation continued on shallow topics such as their hobbies before Jovan made a surprising invite to meet his friends after school.

"Why is he so desperate for me to be his friend?" Theo thought to himself before denying the invitation, lying that he had a curfew.