Mystery of Love

22

Two years later, Theo had become an "anti-romantic" person. He was no longer looking to accommodate for a significant other in his life. 

He'd completely cut ties with Jovan, the most recent updates of his life could be seen only via social media. When it came to Kaleb, he wasn't one who posts actively online - let alone release a single image of himself. As such, Theo had no idea what he looked like and if his appearance had changed in any way. 

He texted Kaleb about once or twice a year, most commonly to wish him on his birthday. In fact, the last time he texted Kaleb had been over a year ago. 

After graduation, he still tried to text Kaleb as a subconscious habit. They never discussed about their relationship, but instead updated one another on their individual lives. 

However, it came a point where Theo decided to stop texting him altogether. The reason behind that was because their conversations always ended up with Kaleb dangling around Theo like a prize that could never be earned. 

Theo hated that feeling. It gave him false hope, as though they could still get a second chance at love. 

It was difficult in the beginning, trying to cut him off entirely. When he slept at night, he would hug his bolster and still fantasize about Kaleb. But as time passes, the prior thirst he developed for Kaleb could be easily subdued. He still loved him a lot, but that feeling no longer controlled his life. 

At one point, Theo even made a promise to himself to never love anyone else again. He still felt sexually attracted to good-looking strangers, but the likelihood of getting into a new relationship was extremely low. It would take a long time before he could love again. 

That was not to say that he had never considered it. He thought about how achieving substantial goals in life would be futile if he couldn't share in the glory with anyone. The idea of a power couple, who can take on anything in this world, still appealed to Theo. 

Maybe he should learn from Ruben, one of his only male friends who did not identify as heterosexual. He often hooked up with different men he met through various online dating applications. Most, if not all of his relationships were casual and often resulted in a fall out. It was an expected outcome and not worthy enough to be labelled as a problem because he could easily find someone new. 

That way, there will be no pressure when it came to commitment because commitment didn't even exist to begin with. However, Theo didn't have the guts to engage in such activities out of fear of meeting with complete strangers and contracting sexually transmitted diseases. 

Theo was satisfied with how things were. He still kept several of his closest friends' contacts from high school. They still met occasionally so it wasn't as though he was a loner. 

However, he would be lying if he said he'd completely moved on from Kaleb. There had always been unresolved sexual tension between the two of them. On most days, he managed to get through his day without thinking about Kaleb and worrying if he thought about him as well. 

Each time he was at the train station near both of their houses, he found himself quickening his steps to avoid stumbling into Kaleb unexpectedly. It was the location where they were most likely to meet. If there was ever a day when they meet again, he wouldn't know how to act around him - let alone know what to say. 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴.

He never knew how strongly he still cared for Kaleb until he encountered someone whom he initially thought was him. They were in a bus and the stranger had taken a seat in front of him. A single glimpse at the stranger's back view caused him to have heart palpitations - the blood coursing through his veins. He felt relief only when the stranger turned around at one point and made him realize that it wasn't Kaleb. 

𝘊𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥. He never worried about Jovan because he knew he'd found the closure he needed. He was mentally strong. But he couldn't be sure about Kaleb. That was the main reason why he texted Kaleb a week before New Year's - to let Kaleb know that he was still there for him as a friend and that he did not forget about him. 

"Hi. It's been a while... How r u?" Theo began saying. 

He thought Kaleb would get angry for contacting him again after disappearing for so long. In his mind, he was worried that Kaleb had moved on and by texting him, it would show that he selfishly longed for his embrace only when he felt needy - though that was not his intention at all. 

On the contrary, Kaleb sounded optimistic in his replies. He shared about his latest interest in volleyball and all the various changes in his life. 

"Volleyball has got a lot of pretty girls man," was a response that caught Theo off guard. 

"People are saying that I rizzed up their girl." He continued saying. 

𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥. Theo thought to himself. Everything Kaleb did or said only seemed to arouse him. 

When Kaleb said: "Be right back. Going to shower," he'd replied: "Send nudes. Just kidding."

To which he responded with a random meme. 

"Was nice catching up. Goodnight." Theo responded as he ended the conversation, knowing that if they continued, it would only end up in disappointment.  

A/N:
Hello fellow readers !! If you've read the story from start till end, I want to say THANKYOU for extending your time to read my story, I truly appreciate it. Also, it suggests that you enjoyed my work enough to finish reading it, I hope. 

Anyways, I wrote this story because I thought I needed to find some closure in my own romantic relationships. 𝘠𝘦𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘰, 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦. 

Another source of inspiration as you probably could tell by now, is from the film "Call Me by Your Name." I think many of us queer individuals dream about being like Elio and Oliver, roaming around Northern Italy with a love interest and leading a relatively carefree life. However, that's not always the case because not everyone lives in a society or a community that accepts them for who they are.

Similar to the film, Oliver ended up leaving Elio to get married to another woman. We don't always get a happy ending when it comes to love, and so I strived for a bittersweet ending to my story - depicting that reality is not always a happily ever after.