Mystery of Love

9

The following day Theo had gone back to school. It was the final week before summer break.

The past few days had served as a great distraction for him. He was not compelled to attend classes as he was preoccupied by his extracurricular commitments. As a result, he could avoid any interactions with Jovan.

Nevertheless, he was determined to get through to Friday.

The biggest hurdle of the day was physical education. The lesson had some unexplainable way of demoralising him.

True enough, within the first five minutes of the lesson, he already felt uneasy. The atmosphere reminded him of the moments he had with Jovan that he didn't wish to recall.

Later on, he finally found out the main reason he hated the lesson so much. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘗𝘌 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳.

As a teacher, one should have the responsibility of providing an environment that is conducive for learning. Or at the very least, to offer an environment where students could feel included.

Instead, she only had her attention on the best students. The ones who were physically fit. The boys who did so well in the fitness test.

It was only then that Theo realized why most of his classmates hated PE lesson. From the beginning, the teacher had a biased attitude in nurturing only the small handful of students who were already in their best body shape.

She paid no attention and dedicated little effort in motivating the others. It was like she gave up on them before even trying.

"The rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer." Now, that phrase made so much more sense to Theo. He bet the teacher didn't even know his name.

As part of a demonstration for the basic skills required in playing volleyball, she handpicked some of her "favourite" students. One of them was obviously Jovan.

Even when they made a mistake, she would patiently teach them the correct technique. Soon, it appeared as though they were the only ones involved in learning as the rest were simply spectating.

Theo couldn't stand it anymore. He immediately excused himself from the class.

He went into the same toilet cubicle as he did the first time he ditched Jovan. It had the same kind of vibe each time he visited. It was his safe haven whenever he needed a place to escape to.

He didn't even had the chance to rationalize the situation as tears had already begun rolling down his cheeks. It just ran profusely as he bawled his eyes out.

Love can turn into pain in an instant. He never knew that because no one ever taught him that. He had to experience it himself.

But in that moment, he just wanted the pain to go away. He wanted to feel nothing. He wanted to escape somewhere far away.

Moreover, he needed Jovan's embrace. He missed the warm pair of arms surrounding him, pulling him in. He craved that moment where nothing else seemed to matter.

As he wiped his tears away, he took out his earphones from his pocket and plugged them into his ears. The song "Back to You" by Selena Gomez began playing.

He sat and leaned his head against the cubicle. Closing his eyes, he focused solely on his breathing to prevent himself from crying again.

The song seemed to make the situation worse. He heard the lyrics play: "You could break my heart in two. But when it heals, it beats for you." And the tears were out again. He cupped both hands over his mouth as though it would help in any way.

By the time he finally calmed down, the lesson had ended. When he headed back, the teacher didn't even bother to check on him.

He caught a glimpse of Jovan who had a worried look on his face. He didn't expect him to feel concerned. Theo felt pathetic.

Besides, he had hurt Jovan as well. The part of him that truly cared for Jovan was satisfied that he had moved on. However, the other half felt incredibly jealous as he knew he could never have him.

That evening, Theo went to the neighbourhood park as he often did whenever he felt overwhelmed. He couldn't hold it in any longer. Whipping out his handphone, he dialed for Xylia and waited nervously for her to pick up.

"Hii, I know it's random for me to call you so suddenly... Do you remember when you said I could tell you anything and you would keep it a secret?...I have a secret that I never told anyone before and I really need to tell someone about it..." He tried his best to enunciate while choking back tears.

"Heyy you know you can tell me anything Theo. I promise I won't judge."

He poured out every detail to her except for the inappropriate things Jovan did to him. He told her about the way they both had feelings for each other and how he had trouble expressing himself.

Xylia was skeptical at first but ultimately held back her questions. Eventually, she broke her silence: "Jovan is gay?! I find it so hard to believe...or imagine him as...wait didn't he have a girlfriend or something??"

"Nope. I found out later on that it was a prank he did to impress his straight homies. Jovan is definitely gay. Even if his not a hundred percent - he is definitely not straight."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

"I'm so sorry this is happening to you." She wasn't sure how to comfort someone in such a situation.

Being the practical person that she was, she continued saying: "If it's true what you are saying and he is hurting you...sorry, that you feel mentally hurt or some sort when you are near him, then it's obvious that you have to create some distance between the two of you."

"Let me think about it..."

"Okay."

The phone call definitely made Theo feel better. All he needed was to rant about his problems to someone he could trust.

Lying on his bed, he felt the same desire to cry again. For some reason, no tears could be shed. He decided that he had done enough crying for the day. Hugging his bolster, his subconscious mind drifted into fantasy land.

It housed thoughts that his subconscious mind was sorting out. He whispered in an absurd and melancholic tone: "I- I'll protect you. I promise I'll keep you safe. I won't hurt you Kaleb, not like how Jovan hurt me."

All of a sudden, he shot up from his bed. He could vividly remember his bizarre dream. 𝘐𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘥, 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮. He told himself as he fell back asleep.