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i want you to watch my face 

as i pretend to feel no pain 

i want you to watch me win

as you realise what you have lost


she told me to let it go

she told me it wouldn't matter

but in my heart i knew it mattered

it mattered more than it should have


when i finally opened up about it

and you were in the room

i saw the look on your face

as you realised how much you broke me


to you i was just a coworker

you couldn't see past that

you couldn't see the life i had created for myself 

or the struggles i had been through just to stay alive



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