KarrotKings Oneshots (Discontinued)

-I fell in love instantly-

A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale

A new man came into town today. Who is he? What does he want from us? Why his perfect and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful coat? He says he is a scientist. Well...we have all been scientists at one point or another in our lives. But why now? Why here? And just what does he plan to do with all those breakers and humming electrical instruments in that lab he's renting – the one next to Big Rico's Pizza?

No one does a slice like Big Rico. No one

That new scientist – we now know is named Nico – called a town meeting. He has a square jaw, and teeth like a military cemetery. His hair is perfect, and we all hate and despair and love that perfect hair in equal measure

Nico told us that we are by far the most scientifically interesting community in the U.S and he had come to study just what is going on around here. He grinned and everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love instantly

Government agents from a vague yet menacing agency were in the back, watching. I fear for Nico. I fear for Night Vale. I fear for anyone caught between what they know and what they don't yet know that they don't know

Nico and his team of scientists warn that one of the houses in the new development of Desert Creek out back of the elementary school, doesn't actually exist

"It seems like it exists" explained Nico and his perfect hair. "Like it's just right there when you look at it. And it's between two other identical houses, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not"

But, he says, they have done experiments and the house is definitely not there. At news time, the scientists are standing in a group on the sidewalk in front of the nonexistent house daring each other to go knock on the door

Nico and his scientists at the monitoring station near Route 800 say their seismic monitors have been indicating wild seismic shifts – meaning to say that the ground should be going up and down all over the place. I don't know about you folks, but the ground has been as still as the crust of a tiny globe rocketing through an endless void could be

Nico says that they've double-checked the monitors and they are in perfect working order. To put it plainly, there appears to be catastrophic earthquakes happening right here in Night Vale that absolutely no one can feel

And now, the weather
(play the song at the top of the chapter or search up and listen to These and More Than These by Joseph Fink - The Author)

Welcome back listeners

The sun didn't set at the correct time today, Nico and his team of scientists report. They're quite certain about it. They checked multiple clocks and the sun definitely set 10 minutes later than it was supposed to

Nico, perfect and beautiful, came into our studios during the break earlier but declined to stay for an interview. He had some sort of blinking box in his hand covered with wires and tubes. Said he was testing the place for "materials"

I don't know what materials he meant but that box sure whistled and beeped a lot. When he put it close to the microphone it sounded like, well, like a bunch of baby birds had just woken up. Really went crazy

Nico looked nervous. I've never seen that kind of look on someone with that strong of a jaw. He left in a hurry. Told us to evacuate the building. But then, who would be here to talk sweetly to all of you out there?

Settling in to be another clear night and pretty evening here in Night Vale. I hope all of you out there have someone to sleep through it with. Or, at least, good memories of when you did

Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight