Vault-Tec saved her

So over it

Journal title: Should start doing the date

I should start doing the date, so today is November 4...5? No 4th, yea. I have only accomplished two things in the last five days, and that is one, getting a shack built at the drive-in ( which I'm so happy it's still standing. Its a perfect place for a settlement), and 2, I cleared out corvga assembly for this group Preston wanted me to help out...Better late than never, right?

It's been fun travelling with Codsworth, but I might ask Preston or Piper to travel with me for a bit. I need something...something more human( I still love you, Codsworth, aha). I think I am starting to feel...Stable? Normal? I guess? I find myself laughing more and more at Codsworth's dumb jokes and even managed to relax as I sat and read this intack comic I found. My food and water supply are mostly stable, and I figured out how to build a generator( thank you, Piper, the generator is... it's something all right, but it works); I can now keep food longer, thanks to it.

Preston showed me how to build a recruitment beacon, so I will set that up then do some more jobs I have lined up.

You know, somehow, yesterday the woman with Danse showed up? I'm not sure how she found me, but she did. She practically begged me to help Danse said that.

"He can be a bit extreme at times, but we've been through a lot, lost a lot of people and have been on edge, please."

Ughhhh fine. I'll help, but I want 150 caps when done, and if I'm helping someone/something to not pull a damn gun on it again. She said she would talk to him and left without another word.

Journal title: First few people have shown up

Today is November 9

I thought I had enough in my hord to get this whole settlement thing up and running, but with ten people already starting to call this place home, I'm pretty much tapped out again. Jake (one of the first few people to show up) and his ASIMS have been a great help, but there are still resources that I need to provide for the time being, and I just didn't save up as much of them as I thought. So I'm going to scavenge.

I asked Piper to come with me (she moved to the settlement to help), but she said while I was gone, someone needed to stay to help, and all that needed doing was too much for codsworth to do alone. That left Preston, who was happy to come along but, it wasn't all sunshine and daisies. He had a bit of an issue with the near-constant chem use and kept trying to find out more about me, not respecting I wasn't ready to talk about it. Even said a few times.

"We could help you burry them all; it might help heal your heart."

Every time he said that, I had to force myself not to slap him. I know he means well, but Jesus read the room. I mean, shit, I can't even bring myself to enter the metro now; the walls are too close, the air too stale. If they are big enough, I can do caves, but once a spot gets too small? I can't go any farther.

Oh, back on topic. I had to tear down my shack as the settlement got big...really cramped fast. I know some of these settlements Preston is having me do are small; I wonder if I can take the most minuscule one and just use it for myself. Also, of the 10, I want to say....4 of them are ghouls. I went to Diamond city the other day, and when I got there, I saw the mayor fighting with this family of ghouls, calling them trash and less than human. He refused to let them in but told me to enter with "pride," He wanted to see me later. What the fuck. I told the ghouls about my settlement and how it was ghoul-friendly and explained how to find it. They thanked me repeatedly, saying this kind of treatment from the mayor was typical and they would go to "GoodNeighbor," but it was too far out of the way.

There is another city here in the commonwealth? Hmm, I might have to check it out.

Journal title: Oh...Oh Good God

Ahhhhhh, November 12 is the date. SO!

Jake, the ASAM guy, wanted to find a master terminal for the ASAMS...A com hub? Tech isn't my thing, anyway, he asked for my help, and I said sure! That went easier than expected, a few raiders n bugs, nothing major. After we got the thing, he said if I needed more ASAMS, I should head to the basement of West Everett Estates. But...there is always a catch. He said the place is infested with "super mutants" he briefly explained what they were and said to be careful.

The pipboy indicated the place wasn't far, and I should be able to get there and back to Tenpines Bluff before dark. Cool, now, I know my reaction to ghouls wasn't great...I still feel a little bad about that, but Jakes's description of super mutants did not do them justice. Like Preston's description of ghouls was spot on, but Jakes? Nah. These big hulking green things surpassed his description, and I can safely say I would rather not fight one if I had to. I mean fuck

Like okay...I can look past all the scars on a ghoul-like if..." he" was the old him and a ghoul; I could look past the scars, the missing nose, and ears. But a super mutant? NO. I do realize how lucky I was, though. Jake said they don't talk much, and nine times out of 10 shoot on sight, but these were...I don't freaking know, docile? I guess? Instead of shooting or eating me, they asked me for help.

I swear this whole reality seems like a nightmare.

Journal title: Please don't make me

Its the next day

I am...I cant think

I am outside the entrance to the city sewers. Jake, he... He contacted me...damn it hang on.

He used a private broadcast to contact me( I want to kiss whoever invented the chem jet) said that he was ready to turn the hub on just needed a lot of power. Thankfully Concord had one under it that still worked; I just needed to...needed to go down there and turn it on. I know this would be good for the settlement, and I want to keep helping, but I-I can't... Not alone.

Crap, I'm starting to cry. I managed to convince him to join me, and I guess he saw the fear in my eyes because he said okay, on the condition I explained the issue when we were back topside.

Two things of jet left. I wish you lasted longer.

I'm not making a new entry for this. When we were back topside... My body was on fire, and I couldn't seem to take in enough oxygen. Jake said

"Now talk"

So I did; I explained what I could without giving too much of my history away. He just listened quietly. I'm not sure when but I started to cry again, and before I knew it, Jake wrapped his arms tightly around me, the sound of him repeating "it's okay, you're safe" over and over drowned out the rapid beating of my heart. I can't tell you how long we sat there like that, but the sun had started to set and unsure if I was able to walk from the stress, he picked me up and carried me back to his shop, near the museum. I didn't have the time or energy to make it back to Starlight drive-in, so Jake gave me his bed and slept on the floor at his workshop.