Beorian Tales 18 - The Return of Shaka-La

Track 3: "Envy Looks Good on You" from Crystalbum "Thirsty"

Where: Shaka-La, Wonder Bowl                              When: 1 month ago

The Paper Ball: News Past, Present and Future (Stonecast Special)

Willow Wowza, reporting another Paperball Exclusive on the latest Mojo Concert at the Wonder Bowl, which was sponsored by Crystal Tech, the makers of Crystalbums and their players.

The Boys fought back tonight against their sworn rivals The Tartlets by performing 'Envy Looks Good on You' which totally skewers the Tart's songwriting – or as Oboe calls it, 'wrongwriting.' If you ask me, though, I think half the fans want to see the two groups work together! Answering the Tartlet's bold step towards inclusion, Mojo now has interpreters in the new 'hand language' developed by the Arcane Academy – which only proves that you can make old magic-less mages create new skills! That applause is deafening!

Oslo: Hey, Guys - it's Willow!

Milo: Whassup?

Oboe: Good evening, Miss Wowza!

Jay-Oh: Lookin' good, Willow!

Willow: You just killed it out there tonight.

Oslo: We did, didn't we?

Willow: This new album is probably the most suggestive that you've ever produced. What was your reason for going in that direction?

Jay-Oh: Huh? Where's this coming from, ma'am?

Oboe: It was a group decision. Since the Tartlets accuse our music of being degrading to females, we asked ourselves – 'If they dislike it so much, why do our crystalbums always sell out?' They must like what we do, so we'll do more of it! And why not for both sexes!

Willow: I confess, I need a cold bath after I listen to 'Thirst.'

Jay-Oh: Righteous!

Willow: Have you heard that there's a group of your fans that are upset about 'Envy Looks Good on You?' They think you were unjustified in coming down so hard on The Tartlet's point of view.'

Milo: What? WHAT?!! WE didn't come down hard...

Oboe: Hold it there, buddy. Look, Miss Wowza, Milo gets...hurt whenever somebody attacks our music. It's been our life for centuries.

Jay-Oh: It was not cool for them to make fun of us personally or professionally. Very uncool. They started it.

Oslo: I'm thinking maybe they started it to get in the news. I mean, they were, like, unknowns before they came after us, right?

Oboe: Who are you, and what have you done with my buddy? Ossie, that's brilliant! That's something Roland would have come up with!

Willow: How is your manager, anyway? I haven't seen him for, what? Several hundred years? Is he grooming the next Mojo?

Milo: He's doing fine, ma'am. He's writing songs, and thinking about retiring.

Jay-Oh: Wait, what's this about 'the next Mojo?'

Willow: C'mon, Jay-Oh – you guys are over 1,500 years old now. You're not boys anymore, you're practically adult Elves. You've grown up. You must have some future plans. There's no sign of Shaka-La changing from what it's become. There's a break in the Wonder Bowl schedule coming up. What will you do?

Oboe: You and the Paper Ball will be the first to know!

Willow: Hang on! You're not getting off the hook that easily! Did you know that the Tartlets have agreed to answer 20 questions from a panel of 10 select fans, in a special news conference right after the Wonder Bowl break? The Paper Bowl wants to offer you the same opportunity! We'll choose 10 of your fans as well; what do you say?

Oboe: I don't know, Miss Willow. We'll need to ask...

Willow: Ah, Crackleberry said you'd chicken out!

All Four: WHAT????

Oslo: Why, that tipless-eared little B...

Oboe: ...IG DEAL! It's no big deal, no big deal at all. Tell us when, and where and Mojo will be there!

Willow: You read that here, Fab Fae FAN-atics! Send a note to The Paper Ball for your chance to ask these hunks any question your hungry heart desires! Guys – I'll send a courier over with the details.