Salvatoria: The Memoirs of Lucretia Aurelia

ᑕᕼᗩᑭTEᖇ ᙭᙭III: ᖇETIᖇEᗰEᑎT Oᖴ TᕼE ᖴIᖇᔕT ᗯOᗰᗩᑎ

January 44 B.C

Syracuse, Sicily

I felt my hands tremble as I read Caesar's letter. My brows furrowed and I sighed. I called my husband to my side. Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa moved to me.

"Yes dear?"

"We are going to Rome to solve this dispute,"

"Of course,"

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Months Prior

After my conquest of Mauretania, I had returned to Carthage with my massive army. Caesar sent word to disband my legions and return to Rome. His words reeked of irony, as they were the exact words which started his civil war four years earlier. He wanted me to be at his mercy - for now Caesar feared me even if he feigned otherwise. While in Africa, one of my lieutenants, Marcus Agrippa, had begun pursuing me. He was the close friend of Caesar's nephew, Octavian. Both men encouraged and supported the match even though Agrippa was twelve years my junior. In the end, I agreed to marry him, as it would grant me a young, but potentially powerful ally.

I ignored Caesar's correspondence as my army sailed to Sicily and set up shop. Just on Italy's doorstep. There was far more at stake than in 49 B.C. Caesar had 10,000 men and Pompey 30,000 then. Now, he had disbanded his legions and I had 130,000 men right in his backyard. The entire Roman Republic watched my moves to see what I would do next. Would I plunge the civilized world into further civil war? Would I not? I still had yet to decide.

Rumors swirled that I was forging alliances with Parthia and Egypt - which were true. Cleopatra wanted her illegitimate son with Caesar to be his heir, until I shared my story about what he had done with my Lucretius. Parthia was always willing to take a shot at Rome when it was perceived to be weak. I had communication with my loyalists in Britain. But Caesar... oh Caesar always had a way of forcing me to heel.

That led to the letters back and forth as I made clear my stance. My wild proclamations of tyranny and betrayal found their audience in Rome. The opposition to Caesar was talking big game, and was blocking his legislation and actions wherever they could. I myself had received visits from Cicero and other senators. Some flat out encouraged me to invade Italy and 'dethrone' Caesar, as plenty were becoming concerned about him wanting to become a king. A king of Rome was preposterous.

I would look at my men... and they were tired. My fourteenth legion had fought with me for a decade, but they were tired. I could tell. Many of them hadn't seen their wives or children. In the part of the children I could relate. My little Marcus and Publius were eight and five respectively, and I hadn't seen them since I departed for Africa. Yet I remained firm in my refusal to back down. As winter passed, Caesar continued trying to make a deal, which I would not agree to. I would not negotiate with a tyrant... until the letter I received in early January.

Lucretia,

This game has gone on long enough! You will return to Rome at once, and we will settle this as adults. I will not tolerate your game, your robbery of my legions, and your conspiratorial actions in Sicily. I raised you up, and I shall tear you down. As I have said, you will return to Rome. If I hear you depart with even a contubernium more than a personal guard I will gut your sons like a fish. Do not be a fool Lucretia. I am a merciful man unless you force me otherwise.

Gaius Julius Caesar

He utilized my one true weakness. My children.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 11, 44 B.C

Rome

I stood before Caesar, my bodyguards checked by his. The room was silent and stiff.

"Will you sit?"

I took a seat and stared at the man.

"Why do you do this daughter? These acts of rebellion? We were so close you and I... we crossed the Rubicon together!"

"How can you be so... clueless father?" I felt my eyebrows sinch.

Caesar urged me to continue my point, so alas, I recited words he himself had spoken when we crossed the Rubicon.

"As you said five years ago... No... it can't be! Pompey cannot be a dictator unappointed by the people! It is a temporary position!" I paused, "Now, here you stand, having appointed yourself dictator for life... and I'm just supposed to... sit here and let it happen!?"

My temper was flaring, and Agrippa put his hand on my shoulder to calm me down.

"We crossed the Rubicon to stop Pompey from becoming a dictator! I did not sign up to prop up another!"

"I understand your concerns but-"

"My concern is that you want to become a king. You might as well be one already. How do you expect me to remain loyal despite... everything you've done to me?"

"Everything I've done to you?"

"You abandoned me for two years in Britain when our situation was not secure. It is due to my diligence and perseverance that I did not become food to those Britannic sharks!"

"Yet, you conquered Britain, something no Roman - myself included - would have ever imagined possible,"

"That was not the clear outcome ten years ago. You of all men know that!"

I was clearly getting angrier, and my temper continued to flare as he dismissed me. He could see he was getting under my skin.

"I do not wish to provoke you - I only wish to disarm a brewing conflict before it explodes,"

"Yet you've been provoking me for years. Britain was merely one infraction of many. Should we address the day you ripped my infant son out of my arms, throwing him into the streets to die?"

Caesar had no rebuttal or effective way to dismiss my statement. He knew I had never forgiven him for throwing away Lucretius all those years ago. Yet, of course, that wouldn't stop the old man from trying anyway.

"You know I did what I had to-"

I held up my hand, "Don't. Don't even try."

Caesar sighed, "What you do know is I can't take what I've done back. What's done is done. I do not wish to have the future dominated by past mistakes,"

"That isn't how that works, Julius. I can't forgive what has been done in the past. Some mistakes are... mortal,"

"Must this mistake result in war though? You disapprove of my political actions, that I understand but it was hard fought and equally hard earned. I do not wish to fight you - but I am willing to,"

"You will also kill my sons if I do,"

Caesar took a deep breath, "I do not want to, but they will be the sons of an enemy of Rome,"

"Enemy of Rome... what an exhausting term,"

"Maybe so-"

"What exactly do you want from me? Apart from the irony of your words,"

"I want your legions demobilized. That is all. You will still be welcomed as a hero if you do. You will receive two triumphs - one for Africa and one for Britain, as well as two deserved titles, the First Woman of Rome, and Africanus,"

I sighed and looked briefly at my husband then back at Caesar. I would not risk my sons and I would not sacrifice more of my children to this man. I stood up.

"Very well. I shall demobilize my men, send them home but... I will never fight for you again, I shall not be your friend or ally in the future,"

"Perhaps you will be one day Lucretia, and I hope for that day,"

I doubt that day will come.

"Goodbye, Julius,"

"Goodbye, daughter,"

So that ended by service to Julius Caesar, a career of ten years. I never looked back, but my days of war, campaign, and politics were not over just yet.