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Chapter 24

“I’ve seen you shirtless only once.” I remark, quietly so only he can hear it.

“O-k?”

“We’re boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s weird that I’ve seen you shirtless only once.”

“I can say the same to you.” He turns his torso to me, giving me his full attention. His flirt mode has been switched on but I won’t allow him to have an effect on me. Well I won’t show him that it still has an effect on me.

“That’s not the same.”

He turns back to the front and listen to whatever the rest of the table is talking about. My mind is too occupy to grasp any word being said.

Michael and I made it official not too long ago and it’s safe to say that things are going fairly well. I’ve managed to let go of the paranoia that he’s gonna hurt me and that’s helped a lot. Right
now I’m just living in the moment and what happens, happens. It’s a scary concept but it’s better like this. Less overthinking and I don’t feel like I should fear anything while with him. During these past few months he’s done nothing but love me and lend a shoulder to cry on whenever I
needed it.

I’ve also gotten the courage to tell Mum about it. I felt guilty that Michael’s aunt had welcomed me into her home and I couldn’t even tell my mum about our relationship. Plus its better that she
finds out from me than anyone else. I still find it weird that she didn’t hear of it.

As expected she was not thrill about the news but she realised that she wasn’t gonna convinced me to dump him so she unhappily accepted it. I kinda got her in a good mood when I told her so
that also helped with the response. The disappointment and discontentment on her face every time I tell her I’m going out with Michael is still as strong as the first time she saw me in his car after school. I can’t imagine how it’ll be if she has a conversation with Michael like he offered. To be honest though, she might not act that way now cuz of our relationship and she’s usually fake around other people but the thought of it is still scary.

His thumb sweetly and affectionately caresses my bare skin while he holds firmly onto my thigh. My thigh looks small under his long, tender fingers. I hate how good his hand looks. Mine could never compare. I try my best to be as unbothered as him with the gentle movement continuing. To the skin right below my scars is the farthest he’s ever gone. His hand that is. We’ve made out passionately a couple of times in intimate positions and almost every five times I’ve felt him grow stiff against me. The most recent was last week and all I did was give him a peck on the lips. Sadly, he’s never went further to make any other move on the contrary he’s actually stop us cuz it’ll start aching.

It’s been stuck at the back of my mind if the reason might be cuz I initially thought he was after sex and he’s trying to prove a point. If that is the case, the point has already been made. I don’t
think that way about him anymore. But since he’s kind of like a romantic it might be cuz he’s waiting for the right time and if that is the case I completely understand. Though, I don’t see any
reason why now is not the right time. Especially when I can see him struggling to fight the urge also. Though he is a good actor there are certain things that he can’t fool me with.

I still remember two weeks ago when I was upset about an argument my mum and I had – mostly just her scolding and me taking it all in – I went to his house and while I tried to kiss him he pulled away. Knowing exactly what I was searching for.

“I’m not gonna have sex with you when you’re upset.”

I pull away completely from him and let out the giant breath I didn’t know I was holding. This is probably the most forward that I’ve ever been on this subject but I just don’t get why he’s
holding back. “We’re in a relationship, Michael and I’m giving you consent. You’re not taking advantage of me.”