love. a strong word.

chapter 9

Y/N POV

4:45,am
i hear my alarm go off. i have 15 minutes to get ready and the train leaves at 5:30. i get my clothes on and brush my teeth and hair. 4:50. maybe we can pick up breakfast.
"wake up. you have 3 minutes to change and get your shit," i tell atlas he hits me with a pillow and i throw it back at him. and leave his room. i turn off all the lights because i know that i'll be there for the day.
i see him and we run out of the apartment. we have some time.
"what do you wanna eat?" i ask him.
"lets just get starbucks. you probably need your coffee or youre going to go insane," he says to me. true.
we head to starbucks with our bags and i get coffee and a cake pop. its 4 in the morning. im not that hungry. he gets a brownie.

we got on the train. only a few hours i guess.
me and my parents had not the best relationship. i mean, i am the middle child. i was a good kid, because i was quiet. i would probably be worse if i had more friends. im pretty and always have been. its a win lose thing though. you win cuz youre pretty but you lose because of the guys. the guys youve always been are alway bitches some way or another. a few guys used me for my looks and so did a few girls. i had a friend a while ago. i was really close to her until she moved. shes older then me. like a bit older. shes shorter to. way shorter. i miss her. she held my head high for a while.

me and my parents havent had the perfect relationship. it was always, "you eat to much, your a pig," and from the relitives it was always, "you're so skinny eat more." stuff like that. it really got to me at one point. i was on thin ice falling through.
they always faught but never actually broke up. it was the worst. i just hope that they will get their shit together before atlas goes crazy.

we get to the house.
"HELLO Y/N! hello atlas. come in!" our mom opens the door. what was that. she gives me a hug.
"put your bags down, i made lunch before you have to go," she explains to me.
"okay,"she brings us to the table to see our dad watching basketball.
"get off the tv." she says in her stern voice with a smile. he turns around.
"y/n!" he runs up to me and gives me a hug. we sit on the couch and talk for a bit. i check my phone. oh wait i need to text tommy.

me
im at my parents house. i'll be back after lunch.

tommy
Okay see you then!

i go to the kitchen to see everything set up.
"let's eat!" she says as i see them go to her.
i see atlas get some lasgna,
"atlas, dont eat to much. your turning into a pig," she says under her breath. i look at him and he looks at me.
"eat all you want," i mouth to him. he smiles and starts to eat.
"you to y/n. dont eat too much. youre so skinny now," she says as i look at her. ouch. i look at atlas and he looks at me with sorrow. i smile back assuring its okay even thought its not. i just dont want to worry him.
we eat and i dont eat as much as i usually do. i feel sick to my stomach after eating such a small but big amount. after i see my mom going up to atlas while hes doing dishes. i quickly get out of my seat and over to them. i know shes going to say something bad.
"you at-"
"hey let me help with the dishes!" i see my mom leave and atlas says thank you. i help a little bit until its time for me to go.
atlas hugs me.
"thank you." he says. i smile.
"yeah for sure. call me or kenzie if you need anything. you always have tommy to, dont forget." he smiles and gives me another hug.
i hug my dad then my mom.
"dont eat to much youre becoming a pig, just like your brother," she says to me. i let go of the hug.
"dont say that about him or i will come back and beat your ass," i say as she gives me a look. i dont care. i get my things and leave. not looking back.