Hell's Angel

Chapter 59

We get back home from dinner and the atmosphere is weird. We don't speak and I can't tell whether he is happy about this or not. I take my time getting undressed and Alex calls from downstairs "I'm going out." I open my mouth to reply but he doesn't give me the chance as the door slams shut. I sigh and rest my head in my hands, I feel like I have made a mistake with revealing I'm pregnant before asking Alex how he thought about being a dad. I guess I just assumed he would want it as much as I would.

I climb into bed, my mood souring as I wonder where Alex is. WHat's running through his mind right now? God I feel so stupid. I roll over and place a hand on my stomach. If Alex doesn't want this child then I would get an abortion, I want a big family but I don't want one if Alex doesn't want it. I can make that sacrifice if it means being with him forever. I just with he would come back so we can talk about it. All I can think right now though is, What have I done?

Alex's POV

I feel as though my whole body is freezing up. I don't know what to do or where to go. Since Andy announced she was pregnant I have been floating in a sort of limbo, unsure of how I'm feeling. As soon as I place a name to the feeling it doesn't feel right. I drive towards Meredith's house, I know she is probably busy with Derek since it is Valentine's Day but I don't know who else to go to.

I park and walk up to the door. I knock on it and Meredith appears. She spots me through the glass in the door and frowns as she opens it. "Alex?" She asks and I stuff my hands in my pockets "sorry if I'm interrupting." I say clearing my throat "I didn't know who else to talk to." The blonde gives me a concerned look before letting me inside.

I follow her to the living room which is surprisingly empty despite the people who still live here. "Is this a drinking problem?" She asks and I shrug my shoulders, completely drained. Meredith sighs and grabs a bottle anyway. "What's wrong?" She asks me and I run a hand through my hair nervously "Andy is pregnant." I answer which makes Meredith almost choke on her drink.

"This is good news." She says "right?" I fall back against the sofa in defeat, looking at the bottle of beer in my hands "I uh- I don't know." I admit and my friend looks at me expectantly so I explain "you know my family history. You know the things I could pass onto this child, all the crazy. It's not fair, to either Andy or the baby."

Meredith hits me on the shoulder and I frown "what was that for?" I ask rubbing the spot where she hit me. "Remember when I was feeling doubt about being Zola's mother?" She asks me seriously and I nod my head, still clutching my shoulder "and remember how you told me how stupid I was being, and how I wasn't going to be like my mother?" I nod slowly again.

She hits me again "listen to your own advice." She snaps "you have a good thing with Andy, you don't want to mess that up because you'll just go back to being the same douchbag you were before you met her." I sigh heavily because she's right. I have been so stupid and my reaction has probably caused Andy to hate me.

"I have a lot of grovelling to do." I admit more to myself than to anyone else. Another voice joins our conversation "you will have to do a lot more than grovel if you want back in her good graces Karev." Both Meredith and I look over to see Derek standing in the door way, eyes firmly on me. I swallow hard, feeling the threat in his eyes "you can stay on our couch tonight." He says throwing me a blanket "because I know Andy won't let you back in bed. But I don't want to see you here tomorrow." I shake my head rapidly "no sir."

The two them go upstair leaving me alone on the couch. I suck in a deep breath as I lay down. What have I done?

A/N: I have picked my direction! Sorry this is a short update but I needed to set up my new story line :) b