Always You

Always You: Epilogue 1

"It's always you, love. Always you."

Cars rolled by, picking up and dropping off people outside BKK–the sounds of tires, petulant children, and dogs crying in their carriers merging into a cacophony. Head pounding from the flight, we hit some intense turbulence on my flight from China back to Thailand.

Pulling my white bucket hat tighter around my ears, I eased onto a bench outside, waiting for Hia to pick me up.

I can't believe it's been over a year since I've seen him.

It was only a day after our breakfast that I left for home. Not only did I have to make up for the canceled schedules and record for an upcoming album, but also pack for my move. Leaving him was heart wrenching, we just found each other again and we had to split.

But it was for the best.

As much as I loved him, I knew that our relationship had evolved, we had outgrown our past and each other, well our old selves anyways, and needed to be whole people who complimented each other rather than two halves of a whole. So that's why I left; I needed to fix the mess I left behind and go to China–for me. We had to work on ourselves as much as we needed to work on our relationship.

I could understand from a distant perspective why that might sound harsh; Hia and I were often thought of as a package deal. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy being his–it was very much the opposite–but we had been so enmeshed that I think the lines between our individuality and love started to blur.

So that's what I did. I spent most of my time focusing on me. I dedicated my time to my Chinese studies and in my free time I went out with new found friends and examined my life and what I wanted out of it. It was upon those hours spent crying that I realized that what I wanted most was balance and peace. I wanted both Hia and a life outside him. I wanted to be a world-class singer. I wanted to further my education in Chinese. I wanted to be with Hia on his farm when we were old. And as obvious as all of that sounds, reflecting and determining that for myself was freeing.

But it wasn't all bad: Hia actually surprised me for my birthday and visited me in China. P'Aof had told me that Jelly was coming to visit, even sent me a confirmation with his name and everything, but it was Hia who stepped into the waiting area. I remember my breath stopping, his dark eyes meeting mine for the first time in over nine months. Heat had rushed through me and I had to swallow, trying to calm myself.

Thankfully it wasn't until after we returned to the privacy of my apartment did he grab ahold of my hand. We had sat there in complete silence on my couch for awhile, just getting used to each other before I took a leap of faith and grabbed more fully onto his arm, squeezing his bicep and tucking my head into his neck, whispering, "I missed you, I love you."

He had simply tenderly stroked my head and replied, "It's always you, love. Always you."

We spent the rest of his two weeks there catching up and having those treacherous adult conversations. We had both understood that it was important, but that didn't negate how difficult it had been. We had cried and laughed and shared some of the most intimate kisses yet exchanged, but we decided to not be official boyfriends until I returned.

And now I am freaking out.

I knew, we both knew, that this time our relationship held something heavier. Not necessarily anything bad, like holding the weight of the world on the top of your shoulders, but more like a knowledge that this was it–we loved and were in love with each other. It was nerve wracking, but I was so happy and excited to get back to him and begin our life together.

I wasn't freaking out because I was scared, I was freaking out because I knew how lucky I got...and were we boyfriends officially once we reunited or was he going to ask me again, formally? Even though we knew we were only meant for each other, where was the line and when did it start?

"Love, are you alright?"

Startled, I blinked my eyes up at Hia, unused to the pet name, and well, seeing and hearing him.

"Love...NuNew?"

Jumping from the bench, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, knocking my head against his chest. "You smell so damn good."

Chuckling, he gently placed his hands on my waist, "Wow, I missed you too."

Boyfriend slapping at his chest, I also couldn't stop from laughing, "Sorry, sorry, I just missed you so much, and I am so nervous so I just said the first thing that came to my mind, I really did miss you. Also, you look so good, have you been working out? Oh my god, not that I am only with you because of your body...I love you regardless, you know that right? Am I rambling? Yeah, I am aren't I–"

Hia covered my mouth carefully, trying to get me to slow down. Searching my eyes, he brought one of my hands to his shirt where it covered his heart.

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

"I'm really nervous too, love..."

Gulping, I watched him intently, as he cupped my cheeks, only closing my eyes as he leaned forward to place his lips on my forehead, lingering there. "I am so excited to start over with you, love." Kissing one last time, he pulled away and grabbed my hand, also placing a kiss on the back of my palm.

Blushing, I wiggled my hands away from him and covered my ears. Shaking his head in amusement, he snaked an arm around me, leading me to the car parked in front of us. "Even after all this time I still make you shy?"

Whining in embarrassment, I simply waited for him to open the door. Taking a moment to look back at him, I quickly kissed his lips, watching as he followed my lips, eyes fluttering shut and ears burning.

"Now who's the shy one? Hmm?" Giggling, I sat down and pulled the door shut. Hia soon slid in beside me, dazed and mumbling, "Let's go home."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Author's Note:

So how is the first epilogue?

It's a little short, and the next one from Zee's POV will probably be only a bit longer, but the third epilogue will most likely be much more robust, I have so much planned for it! I am super excited.

I have these two epilogues and then I will write the bonus chapters for "The Confession." That one also will have 2-3 parts.

I have a really soft and intimate one-shot in mind and I really hope you all like it🥺 I will also start my other one-shot series soon.

Here's to ZNN supremacy and to their genuine and inspiring love.

Remember to take care of yourself and each other.

Until next time--じゃね！