Always You

Always You: Final Part

It was like deja vu, well, except it was me admiring him.

Hia laid on his back, his head turned toward me. Black bangs swept across his forehead, the sunlight filtering onto his face. It was endearing to see him that way, childlike. He had always been the more mature one—well at least regarding looks. The more time we had spent together, the cuter he became. But it hadn't just been his personality, his cheeks had started to become fluffier and he had smiled more. Happiness looked good on him and I wasn't the only one who complimented him on it. But I knew the sort of stress that he had endured, the pressure he put himself under, forever the perfectionist. So I felt content to see him like this, so relaxed and free.

Maybe New York would be good for him.

Brushing his face with the back of my hand, I felt his face twitch. Doing it again, I giggled when he turned his face more into the pillow, trying to escape. Leaning down, I placed a small kiss on his cheek. Laying down, I snuggled closer to him so that our noses were touching.

"Being naughty so early in the morning, hmm?

Smiling against his lips, I kissed him again, "Oh, I'm the naughty one after what you did last night...and this morning? If I recall correctly, someone woke me up only after sleeping for 3 hours so that we could–" Rolling over so that he hovered above me, he started to pinch at my sides. Our laughter effectively ended my rant, "OK, OK, I give up!"

Smirking at me, Hia ended his tickling so that he could hold both of my hips: "Are you sure?"

"Yes, old man"

"Ya know, as I age, so do you Nhu."

"But at least I'm still in my twenties."

"Nhu!"

"But I still love you, always have, always will."

"And I love you." Putting his full weight on me, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, entangling my legs with his. Hia buried his face into my neck, kissing the skin there.

We spent the next twenty minutes just embracing each other. Hia let out a small sigh, whispering against me, "We need to eat some breakfast, love, so that means you have to let me go..."

"No." I maneuvered myself so that I was laying on my stomach, letting the sheets settle around my waist.

"Why are you so cute?"

Velvety lips murmured against my skin, blazing a trail down the length of my spine. With each press of his mouth, I could feel Hia linger longer, until he got to the dip in my back, his hand coming up to rub my hip.

Stretching my arms above my head, I twisted my torso so that I could see the top of his hair. Smiling at him secretly, I gently started to massage his head. "This is nice."

I could feel the small puffs of air that he let out of his nose as he chuckled, "Yeah, it is. I missed this. Waking up together...just being with each other."

"Me too."

Hia moved us so that I lay flat on my back, him hovering over me again. "One last kiss?"

"Of course, Hia." Not long after, I watched him put on some gray sweats, walking out to make his way to the kitchen.

"Let me take a quick shower and change and I'll be right out," I called out after him.

I really was going to freshen up, but I also just needed some time for myself. To think and process what had happened, what's going to happen.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror, all I could think was: Is this the end?

By the time I was done with my shower and changed into some of Hia's clothes, breakfast was on the island, Hia grabbing some water from the fridge, back toward me. Sneaking up behind him, I snaked my arms around him, resting my cheek against him. "Thanks for breakfast Hia."

Turning around in my arms, I watched his eyes soften as he hugged me back.

This is going to be hard.

Letting me go, I followed him, sitting down next to him. "Salted egg salad?"

"I know it's one of your favorites."

"Are you gonna make out with me now or later?"

I could see the mirth in his eyes as he pulled my stool so that we were side by side, placing his hand on my thigh. Turning our attention to the food, we ate our breakfast in relative silence, letting my hand rest on top of Hia's. It felt refreshing, to be eating with Hia again, in a comfortable silence.

I don't know how to do this. I squeezed his hand, trying to find comfort, even if it did seem selfish.

Just say it New.

"New, what's wrong?"

I don't want this to end.

"New?"

This is going to hurt.

Soft fingers cradled my face, wiping at the corner of my eyes. "Nhu, love, why are you crying?" I hadn't realized that I was crying, and that Hia had turned me to face him, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"I-I have to lea-leave..."

Hia's hands stilled for a second before he continued to soothe me. "I know."

Sobbing, I covered my face in my hands, resting in his chest.

"Nhu, love, look at me."

Shaking my head against him, I couldn't bring myself to look at him, "I can't, I can't, I can't."

"Then can you at least listen to me?"

Hia must have taken my lack of response as a sign to continue: "New, we always knew that we needed to talk, so here it is. I love you so much, but I also know that we need to take some time to figure out ourselves. Our lives have separated so much, and it won't be easy to intertwine them again. So here is my proposition–we take the time to get to know each other again. As slow as we need to. No official titles, obligations, or deadlines. Just us being us. I think it would be best especially since you're moving to China."

I snapped my head up at that, eyes wide. "How in the hell did you know that?"

Clearing his throat, he avoided my eyes, looking around the kitchen. "Um...I may or may not have a fake fan account that I follow you on..."

Laughing and crying, I asked: "You still followed me?"

Holding my chin in his hand, he brought our faces close together, smiling against my lips. "It's always you, love. Always you."

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Author's Note:

So....this is the final part. I do have about 3-4 epilogues planned, but it will be a while. If you read my notice, you know that I had a family emergency about a week ago now. Unfortunately, it has gotten worse, so I have to return to the States in a couple days. I am going to try my best to find time to write (like I said previously, I enjoy this) but I have deal with that first.

That being said, I greatly apologize if this chapter isn't great or long. I'm really struggling (with life, not the story LOL) but I wanted to finish it. This story wasn't ever meant to be long, I am surprised myself that it it was 17 parts. And honestly this story was only meant to portray how unexpected and difficult life can be. That some of life's biggest questions don't have answers, or they may not be what you want or clear cut. I don't know if I did a good job at it, but I am still proud of it and will use my failures to produce better stories in the future. 

So if you have comments about what I did well, or what you think I could do better, I would greatly appreciate it. 

On a somewhat lighter note, I really hope that NN wins ROTY and I can't wait for Zee's concert. I know we are all working the best we can to give them the recognition they deserve (not that they don't do that themselves, obviously they are super talented💙🧡) su su na kha!

Remember you deserve peace and happiness and I know that I'm cheering you on, even from behind a screen.

Until next time--じゃね！