Without A Parachute. Bakudeku.

Take a swan dive off the roof

*twigger warning: suicidal thoughs*

Izuku:

Its been ten minuts sins a boy in my class said i could take a swan dive off the roof and hope for a quirk in my next life. I am currently sitting on my middle schools roof. Trying to save what i can from the notebook he threw out the window. "Maybe i should do it" i said to myself and looked up at the sky. I could see some skydivers over the city and started singing for myself:

"I did it, I did
I jumped, I stepped
Right off that cliff without a parachute
I looked over the edge and saw the view if something I could never do
And no part of me knew how
But the moment came and it had be now, so
I did it, I did
I jumped, I stepped
Right off that cliff without a parachute
I did it, I did
I jumped, I stepped
Right off that cliff without a parachute"

I looked out on the school ground and though about what my life meant. Quikless and useless. "I cant be a hero can i?" I asked myself. When my phone rang, took it out off my pocket and answered. "Hey mom" "izuku were are you, its been three hours sins school ended. We only have today and tomorow" she said. "I know mom, im sorry" I said.
"Its okey baby, i just miss you so much, and i only get to be with you two fridays and two saturdays a month" she said. "I know mom im so sorry, i was just lost in my schoolwork, im on my wey" i said, i hang up and quickly put all my things in my back and made my wey home. After i chance clothes i wrote down the verse i sang on the roof before i spend as much time i could with my mother.

I remeber that afternon as if it was yesterday. My mother had called me just moments before i would have jumped. She saved me that day. A couple weeks later my mother dies from her sickness. She has been sick for years. She couldend take care off me when she was sick. When i think back on my childhood. Everything i remember before i turn 7 was antie Mitzuki, kacchan and my sick mother. After i turned 7 i dident see antie and kacchan anymore. When i got adopted i changed school and only saw my mother 4 days a month so she dident want to distract her time with me with our best friends. I texted a little with kacchan but it stopped when i turned 8, he started to bully me a little meanwhile my schools bullyes became more intense.
That day at the rooftop was the day i gave up my deam off becoming a hero.

Tomorow is the first day after autum holidays, i goes to UA general studies. It was not my original dream but at least it was UA. We live in dorms becouse the last years class 1-A got attacked by the leauge off villians like all the time.

I got back yesterday, my brother Shinso is in a class above me and in hero couse, the class that got attacked a lot. He dont talk about it at home, becouse he knew about my lost dream. I mean im happy for him but a bit off jeluxi hit me sometimes. He was living my old dream. He got a really cool quirk and he got to go to class with all those amazing people.

I knew he go to class with my old best friend and crush kacchan but i havent told him i was here yet. I was afried he would hate me after we lost contact. Over the years he grew tall and extremely hot. It was easy to tell that he trained a lot.
After i started here i got a second crush, Naito Monoma from class 2-B and i have dated him for almost two months now. Though we take everything completly slow. We havent even done anything other then cheek kisses.

I made my wey out off the dorms to go for a walk. "Hey Zuku" someone yelled, i turned around it was my brother Shinso. "Hey whats up?" I asked. "Would you like to help me, by reading an assignment through?" He asked. "Okey, i could do that" i said. "Cool comeon its in my dorm"
"Your dorm. I have never been to your dorm before" i said exitedly. "Yeah sorry both that, we both have been bussy i geuss" he said as we walked the short distant to class 2-A dorm building.

I was so exited, maybe i could learn more about some off there quirks. "Zuku you are mumbling again" Shinso laughed at me. "Sorry" "its okey, i know you want more for your jurnals" he said as he opend the front door.
We were halfwey through the commonroom then i saw the one and only Katsuki Bakugo, he got out of the elevator, we were heading for. "What are that nerd doing here" he growled at Shinso. 'Jeez he just woke up, that morning voice' i though for myself. "I-i w-was" i stammed. "He is helping me with the assignment Bakugo" Shinso interupted me, knowing i have a hard time with kacchan. After me and Shinso become brothers, i told him about my old childhood friend and that little crush i had on him back then. On one off our late nights were nether off us could sleep i ended up telling him about the depression i developted shortly after i gave up my dream off becomming a hero, only for it to become worse after my mom died. Shinso knows the sadnest there alweys are behind my smiles and laughes. Last year then i was watching the sport festival to see Shinso compete i saw kacchan again and my cruch on him hit me hard. Im head over heel for him and Shinso knows, he so to be happen to be friends with him.
"Tsk" kacchan said as he got past us to the kitchen.

I spend the whole day helping Shinso with his assignment. When the sun started to go down i sat on his bed and looked out the window. "Shinso?" I said. "Hmm" he answered form his spot also looking out. "I miss you at night" he looked at me. "Still have truble sleeping?" He asked. "Yeah" i said with a sign. "Dont worry, we can just talk over the phone. Or i could sneek over to you" he said. "Thanks Shinso" i said. "I should be on my wey, i have homework myself" with that i left to go back to my own dorm.