Stand Up And Fight

Chapter 3 - Looking after someone i love brings out the best in me .

A/N: WOW! Thank you so much for the views so far! Feeling abit under the weather at the moment BUT ill push through!

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'Fuck,' Eddie thought. he could feel the tension radiating off Y/N already, she must have heard him. How much though? he felt tears threaten but he willed them back. 'No,' Eddie screamed inwardly, 'not Y/N. Sam was not gonna destroy this for him!' Y/N looked at him from across the room.
"No, Y/N. That's not it," Eddie began, inching closer to her, his heart racing. "Listen...I-I...w-we have to talk," Eddie stammered and wanted to kill himself for it. He sounded like a blabbering idiot.
Y/N turned to him, hurt written all over her face.
"Hmmm, about what, Eddie? Could it be the fact that you're obviously with someone else or that she apparently didn't sign your divorce papers?"
Eddie wanted to reach out, touch her, but he didn't dare. She had obviously heard more than Eddie thought. Cursing again, Eddie run his hands through his long hair nervously. The hurt that was evident in Y/N's face was heart breaking.
"Y/N, it's complicated," Eddie began as he slowly neared closer to Y/N.
Y/N nodded as if accepting defeat.
"It's alright. This is what happens when you allow yourself to like someone you don't know. Don't worry, I won't say anything, mostly because I wouldn't know how to explain this tomorrow, but don't expect me to share your bed with you again, unless you have something good to say to me."
"I'm sorry, Y/N," Eddie apologized, feeling his heart sinking. Y/N was not looking at him now as if their connection had been broken. He had to repair that. He needed to, even if it made him look like a fool.
"Look, that was my wife, ex-wife Sam. The papers came through about two weeks ago. It was the best decision I've ever made in my life, but she's well...she's not stable...look it's a long ugly story. But it looks as if...yes...she didn't sign them. We tried to make our marriage work once more right before I filed for divorce. Fuck Y/N! I had no intentions of ever seeing her again once that divorce was final! You have to believe that," Eddie pleaded as he moved to kneel in front of Y.N reaching for her with both hands, head bowed looking towards the floor eyes closed.
"I have never...ever...felt this kind of connection...with anyone, Y/N...Please don't let this interfere that," Eddie begged, finally reaching out putting a shaky hand on Y/N's leg. "I know how this looks," Eddie whispered, hoping to hell that explanation would be enough.
Y/N didn't know what to think. She wanted to believe Eddie more than anything, but she had been hurt and she could not ignore that just now.
"Listen, I'm tired and I haven't slept well in weeks... I just don't have what it takes to deal with this right now," she said running a hand over her head, feeling now that her whole body was protesting, "I just... I can't..." she said sounding lost, she wanted for once, just for -once- to find someone that didn't come with more complications. 'So what? Even if she believed Eddie, he was still techniquely married,' and Y/N couldn't interfere with that. "I'm sorry," she said laying in Eddie's bed and pulling the covers over herself.
Eddie's heart wrenched painfully as he watched Y/N struggle with her thoughts and her hurt. 'What was he thinking? Why in the world would Y/N even give him the time of day now that she knew about the baggage?' Eddie sure as hell wouldn't have.
As Eddie laid down in the bed, pulling the rest of the blankets over them, Eddie felt tears splash annoyingly down his cheeks. He had ruined everything...all the possibilities...vanished with one phone call. 'Fucking Sam!' Eddie wanted to kill her for doing this to him. He seriously wanted to mutilate her body, squeeze her fucking head right off her neck! Eddie sniffed back a quiet sob as he tried to quell his emotions.
"Please Y/N," Eddie whispered as he turned over in the bed, on top of the blankets, spooning behind Y/N. "Don't do this, I can't...I can't let you go when I just found you," Eddie pleaded, pressing his face into Y/N's neck, smelling the sweet and clean soapy scent he now associated with her.
"Eddie... please," Y/N pleaded. "I'm not strong enough to do this right now... we can talk in the morning," she said almost desperately as the tears escaped from behind her eyelids and spilled down her cheeks. Every fiber of her body was wishing Eddie would stay this close to her, but it hurt so badly at the same time.
"Ok..." Eddie whispered, nuzzling Y/N's ear. he understood. 'How could he not? What a fucking mess this was!' Eddie couldn't see her face and wanted miserably to look in her eyes, feel that spark again. That spark that had brought him back to life.
Y/N had felt like she was dying when she left Phoenix, a slow miserable death. Eddie had changed that and in one afternoon, as ludicrous as it sounded, had brought hope back into her life. Wanting to hang on to that hope more than anything, Y/N sighed, her chin pressed against Eddie's head.
"Do you want me to leave? I'll sleep on the couch even though I want to hold onto you more than anything in this world right now," Eddie asked, timidly, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. His heart was aching wretchedly now, as Y/N did not respond immediately.
Y/N did not know what to say. She wanted nothing more than to have Eddie here with her, but she could not ask him that.
"I don't... I don't know," she said truthfully, her heart hurting more than she ever remembered. Unable to think about anything else, she pretended to fall asleep, in hopes to avoid any more discussions.
It wasn't a 'no,' Eddie thought quietly as he wrapped his arms around Y/N's shoulders and snuggled her belly tightly. It was going to take a lot more than that for him to give up.
"Goodnight," Eddie hushed near her ear as he settled in for sleep, knowing he would not get much even though he was exhausted. It was hard to believe that in just a few short hours, you could feel this close to someone. Eddie cried silent tears into Y/N's hair, wondering what in the hell he was gonna do.
Y/N woke up the next morning feeling anything but rested. Her whole body hurt, and her throat was scratchy. She touched her forehead and realized she had a fever. 'Fucking great,' she thought. She looked to her side and saw Eddie sleeping next to her and the whole night came back to her. Ignoring the pain shooting through her, she nudged him.
"Wake up Eddie; we gotta get to the studio."
Eddie startled awake as Y/N nudged. He had probably slept all of about twenty minutes last night.
"Huh? What?" Eddie asked groggily as he rose up on one elbow to see Y/N, sitting on the side of the bed. Her face was flushed; her eyes were red and sleepy. She looked terrible. Eddie quickly sat up, reaching out to turn Y/N's chin toward him.
"Y/N, are you ok? You look like death warmed over," Eddie asked as he fingers immediately went to Y/N's forehead, sweeping her soft dark locks up. "You're burning up," Eddie told her, as he leaned in, like his mother used to and pressed his lips to her head. "You definitely have a temperature," Eddie told her. "Lay back down, I'll find some ibuprofen," Eddie called as he headed into the bathroom.
"No, I'm fine," Y/N said stubbornly. "We really need to get to the studio, because you said we have a bunch of stuff to do," she added, as she went over to her travel and grabbed the first thing she found to wear.
Eddie ignored her as he found the medication and filled a glass with water. He walked back into the bedroom, standing before Y/N as she pulled on dark, green cargo shorts.
"Here. And, you are not fine. Take the fucking medication," Eddie told her, eyes flashing darkly at Y/N.
"Fine," Y/N said gulping down the pills with the water. "Now can we get going?" she asked pulling on her shirt before she headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
Eddie stared at her as she retreated into the bathroom. 'So, this is how it's gonna be?' Eddie thought as he walked over to his closet and pulled out a pair of black jeans and a t-shirt. Gritting his teeth with frustration, Eddie dressed and added a silver studded belt with dark boots. Fingering through his mussed hair, he threw his belongings back onto his shelf and closed it then grabbed his signature rings and put them on.
Donning his bracelet and dog tags, he waited until Y/N came out of the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. His heart ached again painfully as he saw Y/N, fluffing her hair in the mirror. She couldn't have been any more beautiful if she tried. Eddie wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. But that wasn't a possibility now.
Y/N was frustrated with her own body. The last thing she needed was to get sick.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap," she said, "It's not about you, but we should get going," she said before she went into a coughing fit. She went to his kitchen and grabbed a glass of water.
Eddie just stared at Y/N for a minute. She really did look like she felt terrible. Eddie wanted nothing but to coddle her, make her feel better.
"Sure," Eddie told her as he brushed past to finish getting ready. He could hear Y/N coughing as she went into the kitchen and shook his head. 'Stubborn,' Eddie grimaced. 'Maybe Sam was right, I am a loser.' He would blow this audition, like all the others and fulfilling his role as deadbeat husband. 'Why in the fuck would anyone want me?' He had more than likely lost all credibility with Y/N now.
Y/N saw Eddie carry her bags out, and tried to stop coughing. "Dude," she said but stopped by coughing again, "Could i still leave my stuff here, I told you I wasn't going to leave last night and I meant it."
"Yeah...well, if it's all the same to you...I'll just leave them down here just in case you change your mind," Eddie told her but regretted it when he saw Y/N start coughing again. "You probably picked up what Jeff had, huh?" Eddie asked, softening, his hand automatically reaching up to stroke the back of Y/N's neck in comfort. 'God, its killing me not to touch her, be close to her, even for a moment.'
"Okay then," Y/N said a little hurt. "Yeah, I probably have my immune system's shit anyway so..," she said trying to catch her breath. She had tears in her eyes from coughing again, or maybe it was from how sad it made her that Eddie didn't even want her to stay here with him, or how much she wanted to get into bed and have him comfort her.
Eddie ran his fingers down the side of Y/N's face, brushing across her soft chin.
"Y/N, I know we have to go, but I want you to know something," Eddie began as he swallowed dryly. "Yesterday meant something to me. And whether you decide you want to believe that or not, I just needed you to know. And no matter what happens today, with the guys, whether they want you or not, it will always mean something to me," Eddie focused on Y/N's face, cupping her cheeks with both hands. He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, lingering just slightly as his entire body crumbled with desire. "Always," Eddie repeated as he backed away, knowing if he stared one minute longer into her dark eyes, he'd be crying. Turning, Eddie headed out the front door.
"I'll meet you outside," Eddie called behind him.
Y/N spoke before Eddie had a chance to walk out. "I do believe you," she whispered sadly. "I believe because it meant the world to me. But you have a life where I don't fit in. And it's fucking painful because all I want right now is to go into that bedroom and have you take care of me because I can barely stand here, I feel so bad. And for once I want thing to be uncomplicated and they're not."
Eddie almost melted at the sweet sound of Y/N's voice as it froze him in his steps toward the door. Eddie turned around slowly to face the young woman.
"But you do fit in," Eddie told her. "You fit me, Y/N. You fit me fucking perfectly. Purely. Simply," he insisted. "I'm not married to her, I don't want her, to tell you the truth, I never have." Eddie raised his voice in exasperation. "I was just lonely, Y/N, I can't tell you how fucking lonely I've been. But you've changed all that. In one fucking day...you swooped in and changed everything! I don't know how or why but you have. And all I want to do, all I fucking want to do is take you into that bedroom, hold you and take care of you." Eddie looked away, feeling open and exposed now that his feelings were out on the table.
"But what happens then?" Y/N asked, feeling weaker by the second. "We don't even know each other, Where do I come in then? you don't even know what you were going to do with the band! And what? You're going to tell me that I'm going to be the reason you push away your first love? No fucking way."
"I never said I would push away my first love," Eddie replied, his voice quivering with hurt. 'Y/N thought I could really do that?'
"I realize we don't know each other but I can still be a good ex-husband and be with you Y/N," Eddie pleaded. "I just don't want to be with her," Eddie added before he began to beg again. "You aren't even giving me a chance, I know this whole thing sucks...its fucking terrible! But I can't help how I feel about you! Don't you think I know how crazy all this sounds? How fucking dramatic and ridiculous? I'm begging you, Y/N. Give us a chance to get to know each other; I'd hate to lose something as strong this because you weren't willing to give us a try. No one is gonna be uncomplicated. Things like that don't exist anymore."
"What exactly do you expect me to think?" Y/N asked. "All you've been able to tell me is how little you loved your wife and how much of a mistake it was being with her," she said raising her voice, feeling the hurt is her throat. "I don't know you! I couldn't possibly know what you're thinking or feeling!" she said frustrated and suddenly feeling out of breath. "And don't you dare throw my words back at me! I just got out of the most painful relationship in my life and I think I deserve someone that won't hurt me!" she fired at him, but stopping as she felt dizzy. She looked at Eddie one more time before passing out cold.
"Y/N?" Eddie whispered as he saw Y/N wavering on her feet. He saw the look of confusion cross Y/N's pale features as her face went deathly pale. Dropping her bag and lunging in just in time, Eddie caught Y/N as she fainted. "Oh god, Y/N," Eddie whispered as he grasped the singer around the waist, taking on her dead weight.
Struggling under the dead weight, Eddie managed to drag her back toward the bedroom in the tiny apartment. He laid Y/N out on the bed, propping her head under a pillow as he ran for water and a cold washcloth. Rushing back to her side, Eddie climbed on the bed so that Y/N's head now rested in his lap. He looked down at his beautiful angel as he pressed the cold compress to her feverish forehead.
"Y/N, sweetheart, can you hear me?" Eddie whispered, wanting her to wake but not in a panic. "You fainted, it's okay, I'm here," Eddie continued to speak calmly as he moved the cloth over Y/n's flushed neck, seeing a little colour returning. Now if she'd just come to, Eddie thought, pressing the moist cloth to her lips again.
Y/N's body was weak and she didn't wake up as Eddie called her. She muttered incoherently, but her head just dropped back on Eddie's lap. His phone rang in his pocket. When Eddie pulled it out and picked it up, Garrett's voice came through.
"Edward Munson! Where the fuck are you? You're never late, what's up? You better have a good excuse!"
"Garrett," Eddie picked up his phone just as the young woman began to stir in his lap. "Listen, Y/N is really sick. She woke up with a terrible cough and a really high fever. In fact, she just passed out. If I hadn't been here to catch her, she would have busted her head or worse," Eddie continued, feeling his hands tremble as the adrenaline began to wear off.
Turning the cloth over, he again placed the coldest side against Y/N's skin, happy to see her moan in response. She wasn't making coherent sentences yet, but it was something.
"What?!" Garrett asked. "Oh fuck. She probably caught Jeff's bug, I knew he shouldn't have stayed with you!" he said feeling guilty that he had asked Eddie to take care of Jeff. "Eddie, I have to stay here in the studio and work some, I know I shouldn't be asking this but you wanted to her audition but... you going to take care of Y/N for today? I'll be there tonight for sure."
Eddie looked down at the woman in his lap as he smoothed his hands through her damp hair. "Of course dude, I'm not going anywhere," Eddie replied. He could hear Dustin in the background groaning about Y/N and what a wimp she was about being sick. "And tell Henderson, he better shut his fucking mouth about Y/N or I will shut it for him," Eddie told him, hearing the long pause and a chuckle from Garrett.
"I will," Garrett said, "He's complaining that he always have to take care of you when your sick, but I think Y/N's way better off with you, anyway. Did she wake up yet?" he asked worriedly. "from what she told me she has been under so much crap lately, I don't know this wasn't going to happen. It all started with that asshole boyfriend of hers. I swear to god if I ever see Scott..." he trailed off. "Anyway, Eddie, take care of her and call me if you need absolutely anything. I'll go by tonight so you can go about your business and I'll take care over."
"As I said Garrett, 'I'm not going anywhere'. And yes, she is starting to come around. We'll see you later though. Once I get her settled, I go for some medication and fluids. That's what she needs the most and rest of course," Eddie stroked Y/N's hair as she moaned restlessly, her eyes fluttering behind her lids.
"No, no, no. Stay with her. I will ask a friend to drop all that off for you. If she is bad enough to faint, I don't think you should leave her alone. Keep her company and I'll have the other stuff taken care of." Garrett said firmly.
"You are probably right," Eddie told him as Y/N tossed over on her side, her head snuggling deeper into Eddie's lap. He ran his fingers up and down the length of Y/N's back soothingly, feeling her hot skin dampening the cotton of shirt with perspiration. Maybe the ibuprofen was lowering the fever, Eddie thought. "Sounds good, we'll just se ya later then," he said as he hung up with Garrett.
Y/N was waking up somewhat. "Oh god..." she muttered as her whole body felt like it was protesting in pain. She could feel her body covered in sweat but she was still shivering slightly. "Eddie..." she called as she clung to the metalhead's clothes tightly.
Gathering the shivering woman into his arms, Eddie slid into the bed, holding her close. "It's ok...It's me, I'm here, just rest baby," Eddie cooed as he pulled the blankets around them. He pressed his lips to Y/N's clammy forehead, moaning slightly at having her close again. "Your fever is breaking; we need to keep you from shivering okay? Just try to sleep, sssh...sleep sweetheart," Eddie as he cuddled her closer still, his hand rubbing small circles down her back under her t-shirt.
Y/N tried to nod, but she was not sure she managed it. "I'm cold," she said, a little surprised at how deep her voice sounded.
"I know...it'll pass...you just have the chills," Eddie held her tighter, pulling the blankets closer around Y/N. Even though she was ill, Eddie could not get over the fact that it just felt so right to hold her like this. Pressing his lips to Y/N's hair, he inhaled deeply. 'This maybe the last time I get to hold her like this,' Eddie thought, feeling his own eyes growing heavy as sleep threatened.
The fact that her whole body was weak, added to the fact that she had barely slept an hour added together the night before, allowed Y/N to drift into a light sleep. She moaned and turned a couple of times, before her breathing became slow and steady.
Eddie began to drift off as soon as he felt Y/N settle against him, his body growing limp from fatigue as sleep took over.
Not twenty minutes later, Eddie awoke to hear a pounding on the door; he jolted awake, still firmly wrapped up with Y/N who was snoring softly. Slipping out of Y/N's grasp, Eddie slid out of the bed and padded barefoot to the door to answer the knocking.
"I'm coming," Eddie called as he yawned with a stretch.
"Hey, man. Garrett asked me to drop these off." Steve said as he handed 2 bags to Eddie, one with a bunch of drinks like orange juice and energy drinks and the other with a number of flu medications.
"Sweet, thanks Harrington." Eddie grinned, taking the bags from him. "I'd shake hands but I think this illness Jeff and Y/N shared is contagious," he told him with a wink. Steve nodded, "no problem, man. Tell Y/N I hope she feels better soon."
"Will do," Eddie replied as he bumped the door closed with his hip, before carrying the bags into the kitchen. He was glad to see a large bag of crushed ice that he immediately place in the freezer.
Eddie made a tall glass of Gatorade with crushed ice and grabbed the pack of throat lozenges and medication, heading toward the bedroom. He paused in the doorway, looking at Y/N stretched out on her belly amid the mountain of blankets. She looked like a 12-year-old kid as she slept; her hair tousled and awry. He did not want to wake her, but she really needed fluids and some medication.
Carefully he sat down on the bed, setting the drink and meds down. He leaned across the bed and brushed his lips across Y/N's forehead.
"Wake up, sweetie, you need to drink something," Eddie whispered, nuzzling her hair.
Y/N woke up slowly, groaning slightly. She was sure the relief of seeing Eddie was evident in her face, but she felt way too weak to fight it. She rested her head against the metalhead's chest and nodded, stretching her hand to grab the drink and taking a sip from it.
Eddie helped Y/N to drink as she was entirely too weak to hold the glass alone.
"Don't gulp it, just slow sips, we want it to stay down," Eddie soothed as he continued to help Y/N drink, watching as the cold drink burned her throat and she winced. "I've got some cold medicines here too and a cough drop. Once you finish this big glass of Gatorade, we'll start on some herbal tea," Eddie told her as he helped Y/N take the medication and pop a cough drop. "You really scared me earlier," Eddie whispered as he felt Y/N's arms reach around him, her head comfortably resting on his chest. "How do you feel now?" He asked as he stroked Y/N's back again.
"Like crap, everything hurts and I'm fucking tired but I feel like I can't sleep." Y/N said truthfully. "You should stay away from me, you don't want to catch this bug too," she said, even though her grip around Eddie did not loosen up in the slightest.
Eddie chuckled under his breath. "I think it's a little late to be worrying about that, sweetheart," Eddie teased. "I don't think I've kissed someone so much in my life much less in a 24 hour period. I think I devoured you actually," Eddie kissed Y/N's hair again, inhaling deeply. 'God, he loved the way she smelled.'
"How do you know I had the bug yesterday when you kissed me?" Y/N asked with a slight pout, trying to clear her throat but clearly wincing from the pain of it.
"Please... Jeff looked like shit yesterday. Like you really weren't gonna get it, come on baby," Eddie grinned, putting a finger under Y/N's chin and lifting her face so he could look into her eyes. Carefully he placed his lips on Y/N's again, brushing them softly with the gentlest of kisses. "If I do get sick, I feel confident I wouldn't regret it for a minute," Eddie smiled down at her, stroking her cheek.
"Right but if I got it from him; you'll probably get it from me then. And I didn't kiss Jeff." Y/N protested before she went into another coughing fit. "You're going to make me feel all guilty for getting you sick." she choked out before she started coughing again.
"Not a chance," Eddie reassured her and urged her to take more cold Gatorade. "I'm gonna run you a bath, then we'll tuck you back into bed for another nap before Garrett gets here to take over," Eddie told her, moving to get up and do just that.
Y/N nodded, missing the warmth from Eddie's body the second he left the bed. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it, not knowing if she felt worse physically or emotionally. It felt so good to have Eddie take care of her, but she didn't know if it was going to last past this afternoon after Garrett got here. Things were probably too fucked up for her to have any chance with Eddie and she had to accept that. She hoped to still have him as a band mate, because right now she felt as though things wouldn't make sense if Eddie wasn't there.
Eddie noticed that Y/N did not seem to care one way or another who was taking care of her, whether it was him or Garrett. At least she had not said so. 'I guess I royally fucked this one up,' Eddie thought miserably as he started a bath, making sure it was the perfect temperature. Sitting on the side of the bathtub, Eddie squeezed some liquid soap into the water to create soft bubbles for Y/N's achy body to sink into. He could so get used to this. He loved caring for someone. Someone like Y/N. 'Fuck, Munson, you have to stop thinking like that!' Y/N obviously wanted no part of him. His life was too complicated and messy for her, he guessed.
Turning off the water, Eddie searched for clean towels and a washcloth to set on the sink. Eddie also noticed some fragrant white candles on the toilet lid spread on a decorative plate. He reached in his pocket for his lighter and lit each one, hopefully creating a relaxing atmosphere. He always liked candles and bubble baths when he was ill. Eddie went to find Y/N curled in a fetal position on the bed. He felt the overwhelming urge to wrap the girl in his arms again and never let go.
"Come on, Y/N, your bath is ready," Eddie called.
Y/N nodded and got up with Eddie's help, trying to hide the tears that had formed in her eyes.
"Thank you," she said with a shaky voice as Eddie helped her into the bathroom. Memories of the amazing night they spent here in his house, his bathroom haunted her mind, making the tears fall freely down her cheeks, without her being able to do anything to stop them. She shivered slightly as Eddie helped her out of her clothes so she could sit in the water. Her muscles relaxed with the warm water, but her sobs were taking over her by now.
Eddie eased Y/N's weak frame from the bed and guided her toward the bathroom. Avoiding looking into Y/N's face, Eddie assisted her to remove her clothes and settle into the fragrant, soft bubble bath. Eddie knelt next to the tub, taking his rings off and picking the washcloth up in his hand before he realized Y/N was crying. Eddie was frozen next to her as tears threatened in his own eyes.
"Y/N, what's wrong?" Eddie asked, concerned as he saw Y/N begin to sob. Not waiting for an answer, Eddie wrapped her in his arms, not caring about the water sloshing over the side or the fact that Y/N was soaking wet. "Tell me, what is it?" Eddie whispered, feeling a stray tear drop down his own cheek, but willed any further ones back.
"You are going to walk out of that bedroom door tonight when Garett gets here and that will probably be the end of this, of having someone take care of me," Y/N said sadly. "You wanted me to leave this morning and you probably would have let me if I wasn't sick, and you probably don't even want to work with me anymore."
"What?" Eddie gasped incredulously as his voice cracked, pulling away to look the young woman in the face. "You seriously believe that?" Eddie asked, gulping quietly. "I'm not going anywhere! Unless you tell me to go," Eddie replied matching her depressed tone. "I was more or less begging you to give me a chance earlier and you shot me down without a blink of an eye," Eddie admitted, tears now falling freely on his face. "I'm getting mixed signals, Y/N and its scaring the shit out of me!" Eddie could not hold back any more. "I n-need you to tell me what you want," Eddie groaned as he sucked back the sobs threatening to erupt from his chest. "Because all I want is to be with you...get to know you...work with you...I want it all," Eddie confessed.
Y/N could not stop crying. "What am I supposed to say? You have a fucking wife out here, who am I to take you away from that? I am no one, Eddie. A wife has to be more important to you than the girl you want to be band mates with. Even if you want to try it with me now, the day you have that other women in your arms, you're going to regret it."
"Y/N," Eddie croaked, "please...you don't know how I'm gonna feel... I know that I could never...would never regret anything that happened between us, you have to trust me on that!" Eddie let a sob escape his chest. He was so frustrated that he couldn't make Y/N understand the way he felt. He decided he'd have to show her. "I don't trust her," Eddie hissed quietly. "But, I do trust this," Eddie put his now wet hand over his pounding heart. "And I so... fucking... trust... this," Eddie groaned as he passionately attached his mouth to Y/N's inhaling deeply as he kissed her with everything he had.
Y/N could not help but kiss him back even though her breathing was difficult and tears were still running down her cheeks. 'Oh god,' she was setting herself up for getting hurt again. She was giving her heart to a guy she barely knew. But she could not help it; she couldn't fight this to save her life. She was just too weak, too vulnerable to try to go against what her heart wanted.
Eddie felt Y/N tremble against him as their tears mingled and their lips melded together hotly. Relief flooded through Eddie's body as he felt Y/N kissing him back. The connection he thought was lost was back in full force causing his heart to race and stomach to lurch painfully. He held Y/N's face between his hands as he slowed the quickly deepening kiss. He was already feeling guilty for taking advantage of Y/N's weak condition.
"I'm sorry," Eddie apologized. "I just didn't know how else to make you understand that this is where I want to be," Eddie whispered, kissing her once more before reluctantly letting go.
Y/N nodded, accepting Eddie's apology silently even though her head was filled with doubts and concerns. But her body and her mind were too damn weak, and all she could do was give in. God it almost felt as if her body was betraying her. She got her entire body under the warm water, hoping to achieve some relief; almost sure it wasn't going to work.
As soon as he pulled away, he sensed Y/N distancing herself again. Maybe it really was too late. "I'll let you relax," Eddie told her, handing her the washcloth and grabbing his rings as he stood up. "If I brought you some tea, would you drink it?" Eddie asked hesitantly, not wanting to leave Y/N for a second but feeling overwhelming like a stranger.
Y/N held Eddie's hand to keep him from leaving. "I'll drink the tea after I get out of the bath... right now, could you stay here with me?"
Eddie fought another round of tears as he nodded, kneeling back down next to the tub. He avoided Y/N's eyes, as he rubbed the bridge of his nose absently, not wanting Y/N to see him crying again.
"Lemme wash your back," Eddie asked as he took the washcloth from Y/N. The woman sat forward, her chin on her knees as Eddie began to scrub her back soothingly, taking his time to bring hot water over her shoulders repeatedly. 'She was so beautiful,' Eddie thought, letting his eyes rove over her small shoulder blades and smooth skin. "You are truly beautiful, Y/N," Eddie whispered softly as he comforted his lover.
Y/N chuckled slightly. "Thank you, but I have my doubts about that from what i've been told in the past... even more so with the red puffy nose and the bloodshot eyes, and the coughing fits every 5 minutes."
Eddie shook his head with a faint laugh. "Whatever," Eddie told her as he continued to scrub, moving over her lower back, dropping the washcloth to massage the tight muscles of her lower back, now slick with soap. Rising on her knees, he continued to slide his hands over her skin, attempting to relax her. He could feel Y/N sigh under his touch, the smooth muscles giving way under his skilled fingers.
Y/N was allowing her body to release the tension as Eddie touched her just the right way. "You're very good at this, how many sick girls have you done this to?" she asked, looking over her shoulder with an eyebrow raised.
"You're my first," Eddie smiled, "I just know when I'm under the weather; there is nothing I want more than warm bubble baths, my bed and a massage." He continued kneading Y/N's back working his way to her shoulders and neck. The soft whimpering moans escaping Y/N's lips as she relaxed had him more than excited, although he would never let on that she was affecting him like that. "How's that? Feel better?" Eddie asked, sliding his fingers into the hair on Y/N's nape lightly massaging her scalp.
Y/N nodded wordlessly before letting out a small moan at Eddie's touch. "Much better," she said softly. "I might fall asleep here if you're not careful."
"Yeah, lets get you out and back into bed, hopefully those cold tablets have helped with your congestion and you can get to sleep," Eddie sighed as he let go of Y/N's shoulders to get the dry towel and helped her out of the tub. He went after clean pj's as Y/N dried herself off. Eddie would never have been able to help with that in the aroused state he was in.
When he returned, Y/N was finishing brushing her teeth, a towel loosely draped around her shoulders. Eddie tried not to gulp as he set the flannel sleep pants, long-sleeved t-shirt and socks on the sink. 'Whose idea was it to massage her, anyway?' Eddie thought painfully as he rambled something about making tea and turned to leave the bathroom.
Y/N was too caught up in her own thoughts and trying to stay standing up to notice Eddie's predicament. She mumbled something in agreement as Eddie disappeared out of the bedroom. She got dressed and slowly made her way back to the bed, getting under the covers, feeling exhaustion take over her.
Eddie leaned against the stove as he waited for the kettle to whistle. He had mixed two different herbal teas of raspberry and blueberry. The aroma was fragrant as he added fresh lemon and honey to the two steaming mugs. He carried them into the bedroom, seeing Y/N snuggled back down under the sheets. She had slightly more colour to her face, which relieved Eddie as he sat the cup down on bedside table. He fetched the TV remote and flicked it on, stopping on the cartoon network and turning the volume down low.
"You need to drink this tea, Y/N, don't make me force you," he teased as he grabbed another pillow to prop Y/N up against.
"I said I'd drink it, I keep my promises." Y/N said sitting up and grabbing the cup even though her hands were shaking slightly. She took the first sip and she clearly winced as it burned her throat.
"Easy, baby," Eddie smirked as Y/N pulled the cup from his hands. They drank their tea in silence as they watched cartoons.
Eddie stole glances at Y/N, seeing her eyes drooping with fatigue about half way through her tea. "Let me have this," Eddie whispered as Y/N started to protest. "You are exhausted and you need to sleep, but the tea has helped your cough. Maybe now you can rest. I'll let you sleep, I'm just gonna go watch some TV in the other room, so I won't disturb you," Eddie told her, although he felt as tired as Y/N looked. The half hour catnap had not been near enough earlier.
Y/N turned to her side and pulled the covers up to her neck. "You can stay, you're not disturbing me," she said with a yawn. "I like the company, i sort of don't like sleeping on my own and you look just as tired as I feel," she added sleepily, her eyes closing on their own.
Eddie sat silently on the opposite side of the bed as Y/N curled up with her blankets. He watched as Y/N yawned sleepily, drawn to her face, staring at her. Breaking the gaze to look back the TV, Eddie crawled under the thick duvet, pulling it up around his neck as he lay stiffly. He fought a yawn himself as he settled against the pillows.
"Maybe for a little bit, before Garrett gets here," Eddie told her, hearing her shifting her position to get comfortable.
Y/N's breathing had already started to slow down as her body gave away to tiredness. She did not care much about Garrett or anything else now; she just knew she needed rest.
Eddie woke a couple of hours later, as the sun was beginning to set and soft orange glow peeked through the partially shut curtains. Yawning, he walked into the kitchen to cook something for Y/N to eat. Opening a can of chicken noodle soup, he put a pot on the stove and began to slowly heat the liquid. He stirred the noodles as they began to boil. The nap had refreshed him but he felt a slight tickle in the back of his throat. He hoped he was not getting sick also, but the likelihood of him picking up what Jeff and Y/N had was high.
Placing the soup on a tray with a tall glass of icy Gatorade, he headed into the bedroom to see if he could get Y/N to eat something. Glancing at his watch, he wondered what time Garrett would be showing up. He tossed another dose of cold medication onto a napkin next to the bowl of soup and sat down gently next to Y/N. He put the tray onto the bedside table and leaned over stroking Y/N's forehead. She was cooler than earlier, the fever seemed to have broken and subsided for the time being.
Y/N woke up slowly, feeling Eddie next to her on the bed. She felt a lot better, but when she tried to sit up, she realized how weak she still was. She groaned as she lifted herself up.
"Did you catch up on your sleep?" she asked, grabbing on to Eddie to try to sit up.
Eddie reached behind Y/N to prop the pillow behind her as she sat up. He could see Y/N hesitating and knew she was still very weak.
"I made you something to eat," Eddie told her as he helped her get comfortable against the pillows. "And I slept for a while, I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm caught up, but the nap definitely did me some good," Eddie told her as he settled the tray on Y/N's lap.
Y/N nodded in understanding. She grabbed the spoon and played with the soup before she put it in her mouth feeling it burn her throat a bit when she swallowed, she had never liked soup.
Eddie crawled next to her in the bed and began to channel surf. He noticed Y/N slowly sipping on the soup broth. "You don't have to eat it all, but you need some sort of nutrition and I think it will comfort your throat better than solid food would," Eddie advised. Stopping on a music channel, Eddie tossed the remote down onto the bed between them.
"Did you sleep well?" He asked, looking over at Y/N, thinking she could not have looked more adorable all sleepy eyed with her hair mussed.
"Yeah, I pretty much passed out," Y/N said wincing as she swallowed again. "Then again I haven't slept much, and to make things worse I didn't sleep much last night... so I was pretty much a walking corpse," she said, taking a long sip from her Gatorade before going back to the soup.
"You were snoring pretty good," Eddie chuckled lightly as he watched Y/N drink from her glass. Leaning on her side, Y/N continue to eat, slurping noodles from the spoon. he knew he should be hungry but there was just too much shit spinning through his head. Eddie was bad to quit eating during stressful times. And this whole issue with Sam then Y/N distancing herself was almost more than he could take. He wished the ache in his chest would let up.
"I guess Garrett will be here soon," Eddie mused, wishing Y/N would let him take her arms and everything was gonna be ok. He knew it was immature and needy to want that. Its just it had been a shitty day.
"Yeah, probably," Y/N said nodding. "i bet He won't stay long though." she said. "Tomorrow is going to suck, though. Because i need to start working on my vocals."
"Well, you might be feeling a little better tomorrow, at least enough to be on your own for a bit," Eddie reassured her. "I did snap off at Dustin for being an ass and griping about you being ill. I swear that bloke is cruisin' for a bruisin' if he doesn't lay off you, Y/N. I will make sure of that," Eddie smiled, but he held Y/N's gaze firmly to show that he was serious.
Y/N gave him a smile. "That's very sweet of you, but he won't. i don't think He ever will. i think He feels the need to mess with me and that multiplied by four because I'm sick," she said as she finished her soup. She took the medication and the glass of Gatorade before she allowed Eddie to take away the tray. "Can I ask you to keep me company watching some TV or do you have other plans?" Eddie asked as he made the effort to lie back down on the bed.
"You sure you want me to stay? I could totally get a hotel room; I had prepared to do that when I came out yesterday. I mean after how things went last night and this morning, I really wasn't sure you wanted to see my face," Y/N responded to him honestly, when Eddie returned from taking Y/N's dirty dishes into the kitchen and rinsing them out. "You don't have to act like you want me around, you know, I'm a big girl, regardless of what I looked like this morning. I can handle the fact that you don't want much to do with me anymore," Y/N finished, hating the slight tremble in her voice. She had wanted to sound confident and self-assured when she was anything but.
Eddie raised an eyebrow at her. "I wouldn't ask you to stay if I didn't want you to be here. Seriously, I couldn't even kick you out of the bed last night as weird as the whole situation was. I won't tell you that I'm not scared out of my mind, but I do want to be here with you. I just don't want to complicate things any more than they already are," Eddie told her, climbing next to her on the bed. "I mean, maybe we should just concentrate on why your here in the first place," Eddie said quietly, concentrating on the TV for a moment.
"Then that's a completely different issue, isn't it?" Y/N asked. "you can tell me if you prefer we stick to work."
"It's not a matter of preference," Eddie replied, still staring at the TV. "I just know that you want someone who is not complicated and I'm not fitting that mold right now. And no matter how much I wish you could differ from that, I won't push. I get it," Eddie added, feeling the empty ache in his chest painfully.
"So, let me get this straight. The moment I actually tell you that I'm okay with this, you're telling me no?" Y/N asked looking at him. "Yeah... I get it too."
"When did you tell me you were okay with this?" Eddie gasped as he turned to Y/N. "You've not once told me that, it's been the complete opposite. I've been begging for a chance and you either answer me with silence or say you don't know if you can do it," Eddie felt tears threaten and wanted to pull his hair out. "I don't know what to do, Y/N."
"So, when I say 'I want to be here with you,' you think I'm talking about you taking care of me when I'm sick. Is that it?" Y/N asked. "I don't know what it is you want to hear from me. That everything will forever be perfect and that this is going to be everything we have always wanted? I'm sorry but I can't promise you that just yet."
"For Christ's sake, Y/N...I'm not asking for promise rings here. I was merely asking for an honest shot with you, a chance for us to get to know each other and see where it takes us," Eddie sighed quietly, wishing things could go back to being simple, like just holding each other and enjoying the feeling of having someone in his arms again, something genuine. "And I like taking care of you, I want you to stay here and dammit Y/N, I want to lie here and hold you, I'm just not sure that's what you want." Eddie confessed.
Y/N buried her face in her hands. "Well I'm sorry if I can say it so many words, the last time I gave someone a shot I got my heart broken. And every fiber of my body wants to be with you right now, like clinging to you, and that fucking scares me."
Eddie scooted closer to Y/N, feeling slightly more confident. "I'm here, Y/N, I'm not going anywhere...so cling away! Because god knows, I am dying to be in your arms over here! I'm scared to fucking death," Eddie cried out, while one tear escaped down his cheek and he knuckled it away quickly.
"Yeah, I'm not strong enough to cling to you. I'm still sick, you know?" Y/N told him with a small smile.
"Come here," Eddie whispered, reaching for her, relief flooding his body as it always did when he touched her. He could not explain it and frightening was not strong enough a word for the flow of emotions she brought out in him.
Y/N held on to Eddie as tightly as her body allowed her to. She was scared out of her mind to let down the walls she'd built around herself, but then again, she'd already done that the first time she'd met Eddie. She took a deep breath and allowed her body to relax in the metalhead's arms.
Eddie sighed when he felt Y/N melt in his arms, holding him tightly as they lay on the bed. "You feel so good in my arms," Eddie murmured against Y/N's ear. "I know it sounds ridiculous but I just want to hold you like this forever," Eddie smiled, knowing he sounded like a big fool. "I know I'm cheesy," Eddie nuzzled the hair on Y/N's nape, inhaling the scent he suddenly realized he was beginning to fall for.
"I'm cheesy too, don't worry." Y/N said softly. "I just don't show it right away. But yeah, take me out on a couple of dates and you'll want me to tone down on the mushiness."
"That's good," Eddie replied as he pressed a small kiss to the inside of Y/N's neck. "You know, Garrett mentioned your ex-boyfriend this morning. How long has it been since you broke up?" He asked, face still buried in Y/N's neck.
Eddie felt Y/N tensed up slightly at the mention of her ex. "About 2 months," she replied, wondering why Garrett had brought Scott up.
"It surprised me this morning when Garrett mentioned it, but he said you have had it rough lately. He listed your ex as a main reason for your stress and possibly him combined with dead-end jobs led to you getting ill," Eddie explained feeling Y/N tense up in his arms.
Y/N frowned. It was all true. "We didn't end on good terms. When we were together, he kept telling me that I was spending too much time on my art and my music and not enough time with him. The day I came home to tell him I had an audition, I found him in bed with another chick."
Eddie tried not to gulp in surprise. "Shit, that really sucks. I'm sorry, Y/N," he apologized. "Were you together a long time?" Eddie asked, waiting a beat before attempting to cuddle Y/N closer, feeling sympathy toward her for what she had been through. He couldn't imagine any one leaving this angel he now held in his arms. 'What a fucking loser that guy must have been.'
"A bit over a year," Y/N said. "First guy I ever dated. The last thing he told me before he walked out that door was that he never loved me and he just needed a place to live and that I'd never really get anywhere."
Eddie's eyes popped open as he pulled back from Y/N to look at her incredulously. "Nice," Eddie said sarcastically, thinking of the hideous pain and misery Y/N had experienced. "Well, I have to say that he didn't deserve you. What comes around goes around though, he'll get his," Eddie reassured her as he looked down at Y/N cuddled against his chest. "How anyone in their right mind could treat you like that is beyond me," Eddie continued, rubbing small circles on Y/N's lower back with his fingers. "I'm really sorry that happened to you," Eddie whispered as he kissed Y/N's forehead, brushing his lips back and forth over her smooth skin.
Y/N nodded. "Yeah, thank you," she said softly. "But that was pretty rough, him getting out of there, trying to keep screwing me over and hurt me. Then me trying to deal with that and how much it actually hurt and..." she trailed off taking a deep breath.
"Hey, those days are over," Eddie stopped her, lifting her chin so they met eye to eye. "He'll get his; you just wait and see, He doesn't deserve the effort or the thought. He's not worth it," He reassured Y/N again. "You are one amazing girl, any idiot can see that. Myself included," Eddie smiled down into her eyes, slowly beginning to drown in their warmth and sparkle. He could feel the pull, the urge to kiss her threatening, but instead he just bit his lower lip. He tried not to settle his gaze on those soft lips knowing exactly what they tasted and felt like.
"I know," Y/N said nodding, even though sadness was still clear in her voice. "It's just a hard thing to get over," she said feeling like a bit of a loser for still getting this worked up about this whole thing.
"Completely understandable," Eddie added, hearing the sadness in her voice. "Those kinds of things always are," he told her, hearing his phone ring as if on cue. "Must be Garrett," he told her as he reluctantly let go of Y/N so he could pick up the phone.
"Hello?" Eddie said as he picked up the phone.
"Hey, how are you doing?" Garrett asked.
"Better," Eddie said simply.
"Well I'll be there in a bit, and I'll bring you something to eat. I can't stay long, though." Garrett said, and Y/N could hear that Garrett was driving over.
"Okay, I'll see you."
As Eddie hung up the phone, he wondered if Y/N was still hung up on that guy. If that was the case, it was no wonder she was ready to flee when he heard about Sam and their predicament. After what she had been through with that asshole, it would be no surprise if Y/N truly were unable to attempt a relationship with him. While he on the other hand, was so ready to finally be with someone he could trust. To love and be loved. 'God Munson, you are such a cornball!'
Eddie finished his conversation and snapped his phone shut. Eddie kept his eyes on Y/N as she snuggled back down under the covers, inching her way toward Eddie on the bed.
"You aren't still...uh...still in love with that guy are you?" Eddie asked, swallowing dryly, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer. "I understand if you are, I mean, he was your first love. I just...well...I need to know that," Eddie cleared his throat. He knew it was a forward question but he did not think he could stand not knowing.
Y/N had to think about it. She had been really in love with Scott and the break up had been sudden and painful.
"No, I'm not," she said truthfully. "But he did cause me a lot of pain and it still hurts like hell to think about him. I don't love him, but I'm still not over what happened either."
Eddie nodded and began to bite the nail on his index finger. Of course, she was not over what had happened. 'How could she be? It was only a couple of months ago.' Eddie could not help feeling disappointed but there was nothing he could do about that.
"I can understand that," Eddie told her, glancing at the TV. He began to fixate on the idea that he could just be a rebound for her and that terrified him more than anything else had. Knowing Garrett would be there soon, Eddie crawled toward Y/N and leaned close to her, pressing his forehead against Y/N's shoulder. "I'm glad you aren't in love with him anymore. I don't think I could have h-handled that," Eddie whispered. "Cause I wanna kill him as it is for what he did and if you were still in love with him, I think I might have acted on that," Eddie looked at her, smiling.
Y/N gave him a small smile. "I'm not. I just..." she paused and took a deep breath. "He took advantage of me when I really needed someone. And for once in my life I want a relationship with someone I can trust, someone who cares about me, and I hid myself in my work to try and get over this, and it landed me sick on this bed. I am just a bit lost right now and I want to be with someone who can give me a little support. That's all I can really ask for."
"That I can do," Eddie grinned cheekily but softened to serious quickly. "And that's what I want too, Y/N. I'm so fucking ready for that, I can't explain how much," Eddie looked down at his hands loosely entwined on the bed as he turned to lay on his belly facing Y/N. "I've never had that. Not with my family, not with Sam, not with anyone," he told her.
Y/N smiled. "Well I promise to do my best and give you that," she said sweetly. "Want to give me a kiss before Garrett gets here?"
"God, yes," Eddie groaned as he leaned forward on the bed until he was nose to nose with Y/N. "You realize I'm crazy about you, right?"
Y/N grinned. "Doesn't hurt to hear it, even though you taking care of me did give me that idea," she said before closing the short distance between them.
Eddie's eyes rolled shut as Y/N's warm lips covered his and he could not help but to moan into her mouth. He cupped Y/N's face with one hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb softly. Holding his lips perfectly still, he clung to her, tasting heaven. Tentatively, slowly, he ran his tongue across Y/N's fuller lower lip in attempt to deepen the kiss as he moved closer. The young woman just made him hungry; hungry for more, desperate to take, and dizzy like no other had.
Y/N tilted her head and parted her lips to give the metalhead access to her mouth. She moaned softly at the taste of him, wanting nothing more than sit up and put her arms around him, but her body would not allow her to.
Sensing Y/N was still too weak to fully participate, Eddie elbowed his way over so that he now lay partially on Y/N's chest as his fingers slid into Y/N's hair, taking full advantage of the opportunity to kiss her breathless. His heart pounded in his chest as he stroked Y/N's tongue with his, provocatively. Eddie's entire body was responding and his attempt at making Y/N breathless had rendered her to a pant at this point. Backing off, he pressed his head against Y/N, their breath still mingling as he forced himself to calm down.
"Wow," Eddie whispered huskily. "You blow me away," Eddie moaned, nuzzling her nose. He did not think Y/N had any idea how much he truly meant that.
Y/N could hardly breathe. "Same here," she said trying to smile, feeling her heart beat a mile a minute. "You're amazing."

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter as i did writing it. I do have a busy week ahead of me so i'll update when i can but if the worst happens that maybe more towards the end of the week! Love you all!