Stand Up And Fight

Chapter 8 - I say you're asking me to follow you into Mordor.

TW WARNING! - MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTED RAPE AND MURDER!

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The nurse placed the three of them in a small waiting room before disappearing into the psychiatric ward. Eddie bit his nails as he watched the doors close. This could not have been any more distressing. And when the doors locked automatically behind them, Eddie turned nervously to Garrett.
"God, do you think this is the right decision for her?" he asked, his voice squeaking.
"God, I hope so," Garrett replied nervously. "She really scared us this morning, Eds. After she left you, she walked all the way to Jeff's house and she seemed to be completely out of it, we didn't know what to do. I don't know what else we can do."
Eddie continued to bite his nails. "I'm just so scared for her," Eddie began as his knee jumped with anxiety. "I don't want her to feel like she's alone and we've just tossed her into a mental ward!" He added, thinking how humorous that sounded but not feeling like it was funny at all. "She scared me too with all that talk of just coming from the studio. It was as if nothing had happened, it was so weird, Gar," he rambled.
"Well, she was at my house and kept telling me that she'd been in the studio recording her vocals for the past 3 nights and that she didn't know that I'd stop by. It freaked me out, man." Jeff told him.
"The nurse said that reverting back to what you were previously doing was a normal part of complex post traumatic stress disorder," Garrett stated. "Although, it was much scarier to see that look she had in her eyes. Like they were empty or something...like she wasn't there at all," Garrett shivered as he remembered Y/N's face. Eddie nodded, crossing his fidgeting arms.
"I hope like hell they can help her in there," he added quietly as the three continued to focus on the locked doors.
Y/N woke up feeling a little dazed. "Eddie?" she called with uncertainty. She was cold and the room felt bright even with her eyes closed. When she opened them she found herself in an unfamiliar place with no clue how she'd gotten there. She saw a woman standing there and she got even more confused. "Where am I?" She asked into the air.
"You are in the hospital, Miss. Y/L/N," she replied, not looking at her but continuing to write in the chart she held in her hand.
"What?" She asked her tone rising slightly. "Why the hell am I in the hospital? I feel fine, I don't have time for this."
"Calm down," she looked up at her as she put her chart down. "You have been through a traumatic event and you are here to recover," she told her as she buzzed for assistance, wanting to prepare if the situation were to escalate.
"What traumatic event?" Y/N asked a little more angrily. "I haven't been though any traumatic event! I want to get out of here, I have work to do!
"Miss Y/L/N, you really need to calm down," the nurse insisted as three orderly entered the room. "I have some medication for you," she told her quietly as she moved closer.
"No way! Stay the hell away from me! I'm not taking anything!" She said trying to pull away from her.
"I don't want to have to this the hard way," she told her, closing in on her with the other three orderly.
"Miss Y/L/N, please cooperate, you are here for your own benefit. Now you really need too work with us," one of the blue scrubbed men told her as they began backing Y/N into a corner.
"No!" Y/N insisted trying to find an escape route. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest.
The nurse moved away for a moment as the orderlies attempted to get Y/N to calm down, knowing she was going to have to give her an injection instead.
"The more you fight this, the harder things will be for you. Can you understand that?" she asked as she drew the medication into a syringe.
Y/N shook her head, not really aware that she was doing it. She didn't want to be here, she didn't know why she was here, all she wanted was for all of them to go away. Her mind wandered over to Eddie and how much she wished the singer was there right now.
"Well, although it may not feel like it, we are here to help you. You have been through a terrible ordeal, Miss Y/L/N and you are not quite in your right mind right now. We are going to help you with that, now please, I'm asking one last time. Take the medication," she repeated as she moved close to Y/N and held the medicine cup out to her, telling the orderlies to back off for a minute.
"I don't want to... I want Eddie." Y/N said sadly, as she rolled down the wall to the floor.
"If we get him, will you take the medication?" she asked, squatting down to her so they were eye level. The young woman looked terrified, her hair disheveled, skin ashen and pale. She watched as she pulled her knees up to her chest, easing the hospital gown over her bare legs before burying her hands in her hair.
She looked up at her with tears forming in her eyes, wanting to trust her but feeling scared at the same time. She nodded furiously before she rested her forehead on her knees.
Eddie's heart raced the moment the orderly came out of the locked doors and gestured for them to come back with him.
"What's wrong? What's going on? Where's Y/N?" he asked, firing each question off anxiously. The orderly did not respond except to continue leading them down the long corridor through another set of locked doors. Garrett rested his hand on Eddie's shoulder as he pushed the wheelchair behind the orderly.
"Calm down, Eds," Jeff told him as they turned a corner. "Y/N needs you to be calm," he added while Eddie fidgeted nervously. He took a couple of deep breaths, nodding as Garrett wheeled him into a room behind the assistant. His eyes immediately connected with Y/N, collapsed on the floor, holding her knees, her face buried as she looked down. His heart ached for the young woman, still not completely sure this was the best idea. Eddie leapt out of the chair, pushing past the nurse to get to his lover.
"Baby," he cooed as he cupped her face with his one good hand, kneeling down in front of her, "are you okay?" he asked immediately.
Y/N shook her head, tears in her eyes as she looked at Eddie like she wasn't sure he was really there. She held Eddie's wrist before she wrapped her arms around the singer, hugging him almost desperately.
Eddie sank down onto the floor, pulling Y/N into his lap. He placed soft kisses to her face and neck.
"It's okay, it's okay, I'm here. You're gonna be okay," he whispered into her hair as he looked teary eyed up at Garrett and Jeff. "What happened? Why is she so upset?" Eddie asked, his eyes darting to the nurse.
"We need her to take this medication," the nurse began.
"What is it and what is it for?" Eddie asked inquisitively. "I thought we already medicated her for rest?" he added as he soothed Y/N's back.
"The doctor has ordered several medications for her. All part of her treatment for complex post traumatic stress disorder," she responded as she moved toward them with the medicine cup. Eddie looked at Y/N, kissing her cheek gently before looking back at the nurse.
"Gimme," he said, gesturing for her to hand him the drugs. "Take these Y/N, so they will leave you alone, ok?" he asked, holding the medication to Y/N's lips.
Y/N reached a shaky hand for the cup, sobbing in Eddie's lap. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and with an air of resignation; she looked at Eddie one more time before she finally took the medicine.
The nurse sighed as she took the empty medicine cup and water from them. "We need to work on her participation," she added slyly. "When she doesn't have you around," she stated before leaving the room. Eddie glared at her as she retreated before looked at Garrett.
"I got this guys, Gar, you wanna head out so you can run those errands we talked about?" Garrett nodded as he leaned down to kiss the top of Y/N's head.
"See ya later, buddy," he whispered as he met Eddie's eyes. "I'll see you two in a little while," he added, ruffling Y/N's hair affectionately.
"Are you going to leave me?" Y/N asked Eddie between sobs. "I don't want to be here alone."
"Sssh, of course not, baby," Eddie whispered, somewhat hesitantly as he comforted her. Eddie followed Garrett with his eyes as he left the room and Jeff sat down on the bed. "You're not alone," he continued softly.
"Why am I here?" Y/N asked, not sure, she wanted to know. She looked nervously from Jeff to Eddie. "The last thing I knew before just know was us working at the studio.
Eddie hesitated again, not sure how to answer her. It was just so hard to believe she had no idea what happened to them especially when Scott hurting Y/N was the only thing Eddie could see clearly. Jeff did not respond either, obviously unsure of what to say also.
"Well," Eddie mused, playing with Y/N's fingers, lacing and unlacing them together. "It's kind of a long story, but I think we should talk about it more after you've had some rest," he decided, afraid to detail the events. "Just know that we're here to get you some help. And these people are experts at getting you the help you need, so we need to cooperate with them, ok?" he finished, hoping to at least get that through to Y/N. "Come on, lets get you in the bed, you're so exhausted Y/N," he urged, kissing her cheek.
Y/N nodded not sure what to reply. She felt lost. She had no idea why her friends thought there was a need for her to be here. She wanted to get out of here. "I don't want to sleep."
"I know, angel," Eddie whispered as he helped Y/N to climb into the bed. "You need it, though," he insisted as he pulled the covers over Y/N's trembling frame. He tucked her in tightly, kneeling next to the bed, brushing his fingers over Y/N's hair comfortingly, his face close to her. He pressed his nose against Y/N's as he stroked her face. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, trying to get the womans mind off the stress of the moment, hoping to bring her back to reality.
"No, I'm not," Y/N said sadly as she turned to her other side. She was hurt that she did not know why she was in this hideous place. She was angry that she had to do things she didn't want and she was frustrated that she was just locked up in here with no way out. She pulled the covers up to her neck and sobbed into the pillow.
Eddie put his face into the bed as Y/N turned away from him. The pain of being unable to comfort Y/N was overwhelming. What was worse was that Y/N had no idea why she was here. Eddie could still hear the gunshots ringing in his ears as if the entire event was happening again at this very minute. His body shook as tears fell down his cheeks. He wished that he could turn it off as Y/N had, knowing how crazy that sounded. He did not take his hand off Y/N as she sobbed into her pillow.
"What can I do?" Eddie asked when he looked up from the bed. "I'll do anything to take this pain from you," he croaked in agony.
"Do you love me?" Y/N asked looking at him through teary eyes, needing to find comfort in the fact that at least one thing was real. "I don't why I'm here or what's going on... I need to know that you are still real."
"Oh god, Y/N," Eddie sighed as he crawled onto the bed, taking the young woman as close as possible to him. "I love you so much it hurts," he confessed, tears blurring his vision. "I'm real, baby...I'm real and I'm here," he told her, kissing away the tears shining down her cheeks. He took Y/N's hand and placed it against his chest just over his heart. "Can you feel that?" he asked her, his voice wavering.
Y/N nodded a slight pout still on her lips, making her look more like a child. She wiped her cheeks with the covers as she looked at him.
"So you're really with me?" She asked, still needing confirmation.
"That's yours," Eddie told her when she confirmed she could feel his heart beating. "I'm with you for as long as you'll have me," he replied when Y/N asked him if they were together. "I love you baby, so...so...much," he reassured her, pressing tiny kisses all over her face. Eddie glanced over to see that Jeff had left the room and was standing outside the door, texting on his phone. "We all love you. Garrett, Jeff, Steve and Dustin...everyone. We just want you better," he continued while snuggling with Y/N in his arms.
"I just feel lost. I feel like I'm trapped here and I don't know why," Y/N admitted as she clung to Eddie like a lifeline. "I don't understand it; I just want to go home. I just want to be with you."
"I know you do," Eddie replied as he squeezed her tightly. "I want to be with you too, baby. We'll go home soon enough, we just have to hold out long enough for my shoulder to heal and you to get some rest," he smiled at her. "So just be patient, ok?" he kissed her nose tenderly.
Y/N looked at him with her stormy grey eyes full of sadness.
"Promise me you'll get me out of here as soon as you can."
"Of course, baby," he whispered. "There is nothing I want more than to get you out of here," he told her, feeling his heart lurching as Y/N cast those beautiful grey eyes glistening with tears up at him. "Promise me something," Eddie added as he pressed his forehead to Y/N. "That you will listen to these people and do what they tell you to do. Because, the more you follow their instructions, the sooner we get the hell out of here, ok?"
Y/N nodded in what looked like resignation as she looked down as her trembling fingers.
"I'm scared," she said softly.
"So am I," Eddie confessed. "I'm terrified, Y/N. I know you don't remember but this whole thing has been so insane, I keep thinking I'm gonna wake up with you in my arms and see that it was all a hideous nightmare," he said, kissing Y/N's hair again.
Y/N started sobbing harder and had trouble breathing for a moment.
"How can Scott do this to me? I don't think I'll ever beat him," she said sadly.
Eddie swallowed dryly as he felt Y/N's entire body stiffen with fear. Y/N really was in there, he thought nervously. She did remember, only the memories were filtering in intermittently. Eddie knew how absolutely frightening that must be for her.
"I don't know how he could do something like this. And you will beat this, we will beat it together," he whispered, rocking her as he cried.
Y/N clutched Eddie's clothing tightly. "Baby, I can't do this... I am not strong enough! I've been fighting for so long and I can't anymore!" She said desperately. "He's beaten me every time. He will do it again. Baby please, you must get me out of here. He's going to find me again."
"No, Y/N, he's in jail. He can't get to you," he said firmly, feeling the tangible terror radiating from Y/N's body. "I promise you are safe here. There is no way he can hurt you now. Please, baby, please relax," Eddie tried to soothe her, but fear was rising quickly in his own body, unsure of how to respond to her.
Y/N looked at Eddie in disbelief. "You don't believe me... you think this is just my imagination, that I'm overreacting," she said sounding hurt. "But you haven't been there. You have no idea what it's been like," she said shaking her head. "If you don't want to help me that's fine, just don't treat me like a child."
"No I don't, Y/N," Eddie denied as Y/N ranted. "I don't, I promise baby. Of course I believe you, I know what that man is capable of now," Eddie insisted. "Look at me, Y/N," he demanded, trying to reason with her. "I am trying to help you," he urged, feeling weak. "I love you," he pleaded.
"Yeah, I've heard that before, forgive me if I can't trust those words right now," Y/N replied sadly. "I'm still stuck here and I will be until someone else decides I have to be. Don't worry, I'm going to be a good little girl and do what I'm told."
"You listen to me," Eddie said, hurting from her words. "Don't try and pull that guilt trip on me! This was neither my idea nor my decision! I just want you to get better. I want to do what is best for you. I am trying to be here for you and show you how much I love you," he told her, exasperated. "I'd do anything for you, Y/N, anything in this world," he whispered, tears welling in his eyes.
Y/N looked at Eddie trying to read his face and when she spoke, her voice seemed lower and calmer. "Well if you love me and would do anything..." she said as she inched closer to him, "then get me out of here, baby... I know you want to be with me as much as I do."
Eddie's eyes widened at her mood change. Jesus, this was fucking weird. He did not know if he could take it. Eddie was speechless as Y/N moved closer to him. He closed his eyes as tears fell down his cheeks. This was so fucking hard. Somewhere in there, Y/N had to know that Eddie would truly do anything for her. Knowing it was a desperation attempt, Eddie knuckled away his tears.
"Y/N...stop...come on..." Eddie said, his voice trembling.
Y/N looked at Eddie, feeling her heart breaking at the sight of his tears.
"Baby..." she whispered. "What's wrong? What did I do?" She asked desperately.
"I'm just scared, Y/N. I'm scared of everything," Eddie answered quietly. "I just want you back," he added quietly, knowing he probably should not have said that. But it was the truth; he wanted things to be back to the way they were before. He did not want Y/N to be hurting so much that she needed to escape her thoughts and feelings. He did not want to be here in the hospital.
Thinking back to the few days they had spent in the studio, writing together, recording music. He could almost feel the lighthearted banter they shared. The coy touches, the seductive attraction to each other, and the unbelievable passion they experienced in the car, the bathroom, the bedroom felt like a dream state. Eddie began to sob as he looked at Y/N. He was beginning to think he belonged here as much as Y/N did. Gunshots rang in his ears again, startling him back to reality as goose bumps trailed down his arms.
Y/N looked at Eddie and pulled away slightly. "I think..." she said softly before she swallowed dry. "I think this is a bit too much for us to handle. I think this is hard enough for you without my issues, maybe it's better if I do this with the people here."
"What are you talking about, Y/N?" Eddie cried, trying to stop shaking. "I was there with you! I went through it too! I was there! Don't you remember that?" he sobbed, as he felt himself breaking down. "I watched that sorry motherfucker put his hands all over you! Try to rape you! No one can understand that! No one, Y/N!" Eddie yelled as he moved off the bed away from Y/N. He had lost it and he knew it.
Sobbing, he crouched on the floor. Y/N was right about one thing, this was too much, but the way Y/N had told him he couldn't handle her with or without her issues had been so hurtful; he had not been able to hold back.
"Baby..." Y/N said quickly getting off the bed. "You misunderstood me. What I'm saying is exactly that, you were there... and you're going to have a hard enough time trying to get over that without trying to take care of me as well. No one will ever be able to support me like you will, but I'm not in my right mind and I can hurt you without even noticing and the last thing I want to do is cause you any more pain. You're in this whole mess because of me," she said taking Eddie's hand. "I want nothing more than to have you by my side, but I want you to be okay, I don't want to hurt you."
"I'm sorry," Eddie apologized through his tears. "I don't want to hurt you either. I love you so much, Y/N... I do not think I can handle this if I do not have you in my life. You mean so much to me and I do not want you to blame yourself for bringing me into this. I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad that we have each other. I also know that you are not in your right mind, and that's why I'm so worried about you...that is why I participated in getting you some help. I just want to be with you. It's all I want," he repeated as he dropped to his knees and wraped his arms around Y/N's waist while she ran her fingers through his hair.
"Do you really think we can do this?" Y/N asked looking down at him, her voice reflecting that she didn't feel very brave at the moment.
"I think we owe it to ourselves to," Eddie answered immediately. "We would be crazy not to," he continued as he got up, "besides, what do we have to lose? For me, it would be a heart break either way, cause I'm in love with you Y/N" pulling her into an embrace.
Y/N nodded and allowed Eddie to hold her. "I love you too," she said softly. "And know that no matter what I say I'm happy you're here."
"Me too, baby, me too," Eddie sighed with relief as he held Y/N and edged them back over the bed, attempting to tuck the singer in again. His shoulder was really beginning to hurt and he knew he needed to head back to his room for his medications. He was comforted that Jeff would be staying behind to watch over Y/N but he was concerned about another delusional lapse. It seemed as if he was the only one who could calm her down when she got that way.
Jeff walked in at that moment from his position in the hallway. He sat on the end of Y/N's bed, his eyes on Eddie. He could see the pain and struggle with leaving Y/N in his friend's eyes.
"How's it going, Y/N?" Jeff asked as he looked at the couple. "You feeling any better?"
Y/N shrugged, "I don't know," she said truthfully. "I just don't know... I'm not sure of anything anymore. I just want to go home..." she started to say but she trailed off. Home... did she even have a home anymore? She could not think of going back to Eddie's apartment, not even to pick up her stuff. Maybe being here was the only choice she had right now.
"We will, sweetheart," Eddie told her softly. He could see the confusion in Y/N's eyes and kissed her temple gently, lingering. "I think not knowing how you feel is better than pretending something you don't feel," Jeff added, trying to comfort. That made perfect sense to Eddie at that moment. "Things are gonna get better, Y/N," Jeff continued. Eddie pressed his face in Y/N's hair, listening to Jeff's husky voice. He hoped that Y/N was listening to him. Eddie could see Y/N's eyes getting heavy as she began to fall asleep.
"Take a little nap, baby and when you wake up, maybe Garrett will bring us some food," Eddie whispered near her ear. "I love you," he told her as she closed her eyes, stroking Y/N s back through the blankets.
Y/N's exhaustion was catching up to her, and soon she was falling asleep in Eddie's arms as she heard Jeff trying to comfort her, while feeling her whole body relax under Eddie's touch on her back.
When Eddie heard the soft rhythmic sound of Y/N breathing, he opened his eyes and looked at Jeff.
"You're hurting aren't you?" Jeff asked softly. Eddie nodded, closing his eyes against the throbbing ache of his shoulder. "Let's get you back to your room, so they can give you something," he added as Eddie began to ease out from under Y/N, tucking her in as soon as he got out of the bed. She looked so peaceful as she slept. Eddie stared at her for a few seconds before Jeff nudged him.
"I'm going," Eddie whispered as he leaned over to kiss her hair gently. "Don't leave her, Jeff, not even to go the bathroom. I will be back in no time, if she wakes up, you call me on the cell and I'll be right back," he told him. Jeff put his hand on Eddie's arm as they stood in the doorway away from Y/N so she would not wake.
"She's beginning to remember what happened isn't she?" Jeff asked his eyes concerned. Eddie nodded as he winced trying to stretch.
"Yeah, she is but it's highly liabile. One minute she is here with us in the present, the next she's panicked and terrified of being alone and then she's like what the hell is going on? Why am I locked up in here?" Eddie told him.
"It's so scary, man," Jeff admitted. "You know, i reckon she'd protect us from hell and high seas and to see her like this... it's so unsettling," he said, stealing a look at Eddie, "But how about you? How are you feeling about all this?" he asked, trying to read Eddie.
"Fuck, Jeff, I'm not doing so great," he admitted, showing him how his hand was shaking. "I'm trying like hell to hold it together but when I see her flying in all directions like that, I panic. I just feel so damn helpless, just like i did with Chrissy when Vecna took her" he groaned, running his hand through his hair. "I keep seeing Scott touching her...his filthy hands all the fuck over her...and the gunshots...and..." Eddie broke down, tears falling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he groaned as he covered his face with his hand.
Jeff shook his head as he put his arms around Eddie's shoulder.
"Don't apologize. Listen, Steve just got here. Let's wait for him to get upstairs and leave him with Y/N and I'll take you. I'm not saying it'll be easy for me, but I'm willing to listen if you need me to."
"No," Eddie sniffed, pushing the tears off his face. "This is not about me, Y/N is the one we need to focus on," he insisted as he tried to pull himself together. "I'm gonna head back to the room and get something for this fucking shoulder," he told him as he sniffed again, finally regaining some control over his emotions. "I'll be back in a bit and I have my cell if something should happen," he replied, looking at Jeff once before glancing back at Y/N's sleeping form.
"Well guess what, if we're doing all this for Y/N to get help then I'm doing the same for you," Jeff said firmly. "You won't help her by shutting all that into the back of your head hoping it doesn't come back again because it will. She needs you and you need to allow me or whoever you want to help you."
"I will...I will...thanks Jeff," Eddie told him, as he turned away, not wanting to discuss it any further. He would handle it, and he would handle it his way. Eddie didn't look back as he forced his emotions down and walked out of the unit in search of his room.
It was the middle of the night and Eddie was sitting in a chair in the corner, watching Y/N sleep from the distance from the fear of waking her up. He watched Y/N's peaceful face for a long time, almost in awe of how the changing light hit her skin, finding her breathtakingly beautiful. He bit his fingernail in worry, wanting nothing more than to take that night back and neither or them would have to be going through this. He watched her lovingly until his own body protested from tiredness, and he fell asleep on the chair.
Y/N was tossing feverishly in the bed as she dreamt. Scott's fingers crawled over her skin and they resembled claws, scraping and scratching her skin until blood oozed from the deep lacerations.
"No! Get off me! I can't take it! Please! Eddie help me! Help!" She screamed as she tried to scurry out of Scott's grasping hands. She felt like she could not breathe, her air completely cut off. She gasped miserably, reaching up to her throat, trying to pry Scott's hands off her neck. "Eddie!" She screeched at the top of her lungs as her heart raced in her ribcage while straining for air.
Eddie awoke with a start, as he heard Y/N's raised voice. He hurried over to the bed and took Y/N in his arms, feeling his lover's body covered in sweat and trembling.
"Shh, baby... I'm here."
"Help! Eddie!" Y/N screamed out once more before someone jolted her out of her dream state. She continued to gasp for air as she burst straight up in bed. Y/N clutched her burning throat as she could still feel the hands wrapped around her windpipe.
"No! Don't touch me! Leave me alone! Help!" Y/N yelled, not knowing where she was or why. Her body was soaked with sweat and she could not stop shaking as she jumped from the bed and leapt into the corner of the room. She looked wide-eyed around the room, frantic as she held her knees.
Eddie could feel tears running down his cheeks as he looked at Y/N. He took a few calming deep breaths and tried to move slowly towards her.
"Y/N..." he said softly. "It's me, baby. It's Eddie."
Y/N looked towards the door, thinking she could make an escape if necessary. She could hardly breathe and her heart was beating so fast and so hard, she thought she would pass out. Scanning the dark room, she heard a familiar voice.
"Eddie?" She croaked but she couldn't see very well. "Is that you?" She asked, timidly. So fearful that calming voice she loved would morph into Scott.
"Yeah, baby." Eddie confirmed, moving closer ever so slowly. I'm going to turn on the light and slowly come closer ok?" he said to avoid scaring Y/N even more. He got up and turned on the lamp on the bedside table and slowed his movements down as he got closer to Y/N, his hand stroking her cheek after her vision had adjusted. "It's me."
"Where are we?" Y/N asked after Eddie had turned on the lights. "This isn't your house," she told him quietly.
"No, baby," Eddie said, feeling his heart tug at Y/N's scared face. God this was so hard. How many times would they have to go through this? "You're in the hospital," he said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. "You needed some help."
'Hospital?' Y/N thought as she blinked at Eddie.
"I'm scared, Eddie," she added as she looked around the room.
"I know, baby," Eddie said soothingly sitting next to Y/N and stroke her back softly. "I'm here for you, and I'm not going anywhere," he said firmly.
Memories of Scott came flooding back the instant Eddie took her into his arms. Tears streamed down her face as she grabbed onto Eddie's t-shirt with a death grip beginning to sob.
"Why can't I get his face out of my head? I-I just feel his hands all over me...and I hate it, I hate it so much," she moaned between sobs.
"I don't know, baby," Eddie replied sobbing quietly. "I can't get those images out of my head either," he confessed as he kissed Y/N's forehead. "I just want to hold you and make you forget."
"Hold me tight," Y/N cried out as she forced her face into Eddie's scarred neck, hiccupping sobs, unable to stop the tears burning down her cheeks. Neither noticed the nurse walking in the room, taking in the pair cuddled in the corner of the room.
"What's going on here?' she asked, pulling medication out of her pocket.
Eddie tried to wipe his face from the tears but there were just too many.
"She woke up with a nightmare about what happened," he informed her, his voice trembling. "She's really upset."
"Let's give her a sedative then," she decided as she began to draw up the medication into a syringe. "Miss Y/L/N, let's get you back in bed so we can give you something to help you sleep," she said soothingly.
"No! I only see him when I sleep! I don't want to sleep! Eddie, please, don't make me go back to sleep," Y/N cried, clinging tighter than ever to Eddie. Eddie looked at her nervously.
"Is that really necessary?" he asked almost pleadingly. "Just give me a moment to calm her down." The nurse looked slightly annoyed but nodded her head.
"I'll be back in a minute," she told him.
"Eds, Eds, please...I can't do this...you have to get me out of here. I just want to go home with you. I just want to be with you. You are the only one who can help me," Y/N panted, insistently.
"Baby, listen to me," Eddie said taking Y/N's face in his hand. "I want nothing more than to take you home right now, but I'm scared, Y/N. Because I don't think I can do this on my own. I know you're scared but I'm not leaving you, I'll sleep in the bed with you if you want me to, but we have to stay at least until I know I can take good care of you," he explained as tears fell down his face. "I promise you we'll get out of here as soon as we can."
Y/N heard what Eddie said but she didn't understand it fully, but she was too weak to question it. She tried to force back the emotions that continued bubbling to the surface but was too weak for that as well.
"Ed-Eddie...I love you, please don't leave me, I know this whole thing is too much and if I were you I'd be gone...but I don't think I can survive this without you," she said brokenly.
"Baby, I would never leave you. No matter what," Eddie assured her. "I just need you to get a little better before I can take you home. But I need you as much as you need me, I'm not going anywhere. I love you too, baby," Eddie said sweetly. "More than I have ever loved anyone ever before," he said truthfully.
Y/N reveled in the idea of that. She felt the same way about Eddie.
"I'm not hurting you am I?" Y/N asked suddenly as she realized how close and how tight she was holding Eddie. "Your poor shoulder, is it very painful?" She whispered, trying not to wallow in the blame for injuring her love.
Eddie smiled and shook his head. "It doesn't matter," he said. It did hurt but he was set on ignoring it. "It's worth it to have you in my arms."
Y/N purred against Eddie's neck, snuggling closer to him, finally feeling safe as the warmth of her lover surrounded her. She loved that feeling even if it was only for a moment. The nurse walked back into the room, eyeing the couple again. She made eye contact with Eddie over Y/N's head and raised her eyebrow asking silently if she was ready for her sedative.
Eddie looked down at Y/N really wishing they didn't have to do this at all. He looked up at her and nodded softly, hating himself for it.
The nurse gestured for Eddie to get Y/N back into the bed as she prepared to give her the injection. Y/N felt Eddie began to urge her out of his lap.
"No," she begged in a childlike voice. "Don't leave me," she whispered to him as she looked up from hiding in Eddie's neck. Y/N took one look at the nurse and turned away. "I just wanna go home, please," she cried softly. "I don't need that, I don't want that shot," she moaned.
"Y/N, I'm not leaving you but you're exhausted... and so am I," Eddie said softly, "We really need to sleep, baby. We can sleep here together. For me... please," he pleaded, stroking Y/N's back soothingly.
Y/N squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that burned behind them. She wanted to listen to Eddie but she was terrified of that dream haunting her again. She felt her breathing accelerate with the evil thoughts of Scott again.
How could someone she loved so much try and hurt her? She had given everything she had to Scott. Did she really deserve to be treated like that? Like a dirty, washed up whore? Because that is what she felt like now and that was why she was frightened that Eddie wouldn't want her anymore. Even though Scott had not physically penetrated her with more than his fingertips, she still felt defiled and filthy. Why would Eddie want to be with someone like her? Someone who chose a man like Scott. Someone who stayed with Scott for an entire year. Someone who begged Scott not to leave her like some kind of pathetic loser. Thank god, she had never told Eddie these things because Y/N knew for sure that if she had, he would have been long gone. And Scott would have raped her brutally.
How am I going to get through this, she wondered seriously. How am I ever going to feel good enough, worthy enough to love and be loved? Y/N looked at the nurse standing over them. She looked at Eddie, his eyes full of tears. It was the least she could do, she supposed. Eddie had already done so much for her. And she was so tired, so fucking tired, of everything.
"Ok," she whispered as she let Eddie move her toward the bed. Eddie sat down first and Y/N immediately crawled into his lap, wrapping her arms around his waist as he lay down on the bed, putting her face against his belly.
"Eds," she whined against him, wanting to disappear completely.
"Its okay, Y/N. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere," Eddie said stroking Y/N's hair softly. "I love you, Y/N. And if you have that dream again, I'm going to be right here to hold you. I promise I will never let him hurt you again. I'm here ok? And no one is taking me away from you."
Whimpering with a nod, Y/N felt the nurse reveal her hip and give her the injection. She tried not to jump as she felt the needle prick her skin and the medication burn inside the muscle.
"That will take about ten minutes to become effective," the nurse looked at Eddie wearily. "It's a double dose, so she should sleep until next week," she smiled. "Not really," she added as she washed her hands at the sink. "She will start her inpatient therapy tomorrow," she mentioned as she walked toward the door. "She will have to do that alone, you need to keep that in mind," she told him, with a hint of a snap to her tone.
Y/N heard that and wanted to lay into her about it, but she was too weak, too fatigued to fight. 'Alone,' she thought to herself, feeling her nerves begin jumping again but just pressed against Eddie tighter slightly feeling the ridges of the scars that resided on his ribs. She couldn't worry about that now; right now all she wanted was in her arms. In all actuality, Eddie was indeed everything she had ever wanted in her life.
Eddie wanted nothing more than to slap the nurse in the back on the head. She did not need to say that just then. He watched her leave and cuddled with Y/N.
"I'll be here when you're done, baby," he said soothingly. God he was so tired. He just wanted to close his eyes and somehow wake up when both of them were fine again. He stroke Y/N's cheek lovingly and then put his finger under her chin so the young woman was looking at him even though sleepy eyes. "I love you, Y/N," he said before he lowered his lips and gave her a loving kiss.
Y/N felt her heart speed slightly when Eddie's lips touched hers. It was as if in that moment, that second, everything was perfect and things were back to the way they were. Y/N melted into the warmth of his lips, sighing against Eddie's mouth.
Y/N clung to the reality she felt when Eddie kissed her. She wanted that back, she wanted to wake up and be in his arms, far away from the misery and pain that they had both endured at the hands of her ex. Y/N reached up and placed her hands on the back of Eddie's neck, never wanting the contact to end, breathing deeply. When they finally broke for air, Y/N looked up at him with hazy eyes.
"You have no idea how much I love you," she whispered, feeling the sedation beginning to take effect. Bright colors appeared before her vision as her head began to spin. "More than the sun, the moon and the stars," she said dreamily. "I can see the stars right now, Eds...you should see them, they are so beautiful," she told him in her drug-induced state. "The stars are you, you know, the brightest ones. You're my star," she told him, her eyes heavily lidded, trying with all her might to keep them open.
Eddie smiled down at Y/N, finding her words sweet even if it was just the drugs talking. For a moment in that kiss he actually felt hope that they would be back to normal. They could get through this. He loved this woman way too much to let anything get in the way or their happiness, not even his natural born stubbornness.
"I can't stay awake," Y/N whispered as she dozed off for a moment. "Sleep with me, don't let me go," she begged gently as she fought the sedation.
"I won't, baby," Eddie assured her as he stroked Y/N's hair lovingly, he did not intend to sleep anywhere else.
The next morning, Eddie stayed until the staff came to take Y/N to her first therapy session. He watched Y/N go with high anxiety, not wanting to separate for a second. He knew deep down that the staff was experts at what they did but at the same time, it was comments from the nurses and doctors that made him question their treatment decisions.
He tried not to think about it as he went back to his hospital room for a shower and his release papers. He had not been in his room for the last 24 hours and the staff had been quite lenient about the situation. Garrett was waiting for him in the lobby to take him back to his apartment. He needed to get out, get some fresh air while Y/N was in therapy all afternoon. He was uneasy about leaving but it was not up to him and Garrett had convinced him that some sunshine and smog would help bring back reality.
Fortunately, the label had given them a week to become organized before heading back to the studio to finish recording the album. It was one less thing they had to worry about. Garrett had called him this morning, let him know that Scott had been charged with sexual assault, and attempted homicide. It was amazing news. This meant he would not be getting out any time soon and the trial was set for about three months from now. The police had traced the serial number on the gun back to Scott's brother on the LAPD and who had been promptly fired and placed in custody. The handgun had been obtained illegally from a previous drug bust that Scott's brother had worked so the possibility of Scott getting off as he had originally planned had been smashed.
It was definitely a load off his shoulders. Now, once Y/N got better, they would have to meet with the attorney for a pre-trial deposition. However, Garrett had said the attorney seemed to feel this would be a piece of cake to win with the amount of evidence already collected. Eddie sighed deeply as he walked off the elevator to meet Garrett. Thinking about going back to his apartment was haunting him, but he knew they needed to get it over with. Because if Y/N was released at the end of the week as expected then he wanted it to be ready. He saw Garrett sitting in the drive waiting for him.
"Dude," he acknowledged as he climbed into the cab.
Garrett looked at Eddie with a small smile.
"Hey, Eds," he said noting how sad, tired and nervous his friend looked. "How are you?" he asked softly.
"Long night," Eddie said, as he pulled out his cigarettes for a smoke. "You?" he asked as he lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply as he rolled the window down. It was hot already and the smog was thick in the air as Garrett pulled into traffic.
"Didn't sleep much," Garrett said truthfully. "You know going over everything that's happening and worrying and not really wanting to do this at all."
"Me either," Eddie replied as he fixed his eyes on a pair of birds on a park bench as they sat at a red light. His mind wandered back to Y/N and he prayed things were going well in her therapy session. "I can't get the scenario out of my head as it is. Now, going back to the site of the incident is pretty much terrifying," Eddie admitted as he inhaled deeply, playing with his rings, praying the nicotine would calm his nerves.
"You know... last night I was talking to my girlfriend and I really think that we should get rid of that place." Garrett said seriously. "I mean you've lived there for a while and have had so many memories and you saw Y/N the first day we mentioned bringing her back. I think we should get all of your stuff and find a new place."
Eddie took a deep breath. 'What a fantastic idea!'
"Garrett, that's brilliant. You think we could find something before she gets out? Then she wouldn't have to go back there at all," Eddie gushed excitedly.
"I think we could," Garrett nodded. "She's not going back there anyway. I rather have you both staying in my tiny one bedroom apartment that bringing her back here."
Eddie nodded as he finished his cigarette and tossed the butt out the window. Quickly he rolled the window up so the air condition could cool the car again.
"I know, I think I would rather that as well," he told him. "Great thinking, Gar," Eddie mused as Garrett exited the freeway, heading toward his apartment. He could feel his belly churning, as they got closer. Wondering if it was the fact that he had not eaten a decent meal since the whole incident three days ago or his nerves, Eddie began scratching absently as his jeaned thigh nervously. "Any ideas on where we could find a place? I'll probably have to head back to Hawkins this weekend before we have to start back to work next week to get my things and then go to Phoenix for Y/N and her gear as well."
"Well, we should like start looking in a building... like... close to mine or Jeff's, you know budget issues," Garrett said. "But we could really look for both of you. I'm assuming you're thinking of staying close to Y/N."
"Well, I-I, that's what I want but with all this going down...she may toss me aside the moment she comes to her senses...so I don't know about what she would think. I will just stick with a studio near all you guys, something really small and cheap. Just clean is all I ask," he told him with a laugh. "You should see my old trailer dude, roach motel city," he smirked, his nerves jumping as Garrett turned into the parking lot of his temporary apartment building.
"Trust me I've lived in those," Garrett said nodding, "But you should know that Y/N would never toss you aside. I know her, you matter to her."
Eddie giggled nervously with a nod. "Of course not," he replied, wanting to change the subject. He hoped that Y/N would not change her mind but this was a life-altering event. Anything was possible. He couldn't deny that he would be utterly devastated if that happened, but he just didn't want to think about the idea even for a second. "Looks like we're here," he hissed under his breath, immediately pulling out another cigarette. He did not wait for Garrett and hopped out of the car, lighting up anxiously. They'd be in and out, right? No hanging about, just get thier things and be gone. Eddie eyed the entrance of the apartments as he sucked on his cigarette.
Garrett got out and out a hand on Eddie's shoulder.
"Listen, are you sure you want to do this? You can wait for me here. You don't have to go there either."
"Nah," Eddie answered, rolling his neck, resisting the urge to jump up and down as the adrenaline pumped through his veins. "I'm cool, Gar," he said, hoping he sounded tough.
"Okay, man." Garrett said nodding, not wanting to push him. He took a deep breath before he walked towards the building.
Eddie tossed the end of his cigarette away as Garrett held the door for him once he put the code in. His heart pounded as they continued down the hallway and he felt the nausea rolling in his gut. He ordered himself to calm down as Garrett pulled out the keys.
Moving the yellow police tape aside, after opening the door, Eddie froze, unable to move forward. The familiar gunshots rang through his ears causing him to wince at the sound. Flashes of Scott tying him to the chair flooded his brain. He could almost feel the burning on his wrists and he rubbed at them furiously as if to make sure he was not bound again.
Swallowing dryly, images of Y/N naked on the bed with Scott behind her poured through his body and he squeezed his eyes shut, quickly opening them again, hoping they would be gone. His breath hitched and he began to pant. His heart was beating so hard, he could hear the pulse in his ears stopping only to hear the reverberation of the gunshots repeatedly sounding. He could see Scott smiling at him as he trailed his filthy hands down Y/N's beautiful skin. Shaking his head at the memory, praying it would disappear, Eddie gulped for air. When the image of Scott's fingers penetrating Y/N appeared, Eddie doubled over, driving his hands through his hair.
"Stop! Please stop!" he cried out in agony.
Garrett reacted as quickly as he could, putting his arms around Eddie and pulling him out of the apartment. 'Oh god, I shouldn't have brought him here, what the hell was I thinking?' They stood in the hallways as he moved his hand down Eddie's back.
"Eds it's okay, breathe man, come on."
Wrenching away from Garrett, Eddie gasped for breath.
"Oh god," he moaned as he began to retch and emptied the minimal contents of his stomach onto the hallway floor. "Fuck! Fuck!" he yelled, so angry with himself for falling apart. He hated how weak he could be. He slammed his right elbow into the wall in aggravation, forgetting how much pain it would cause to his left shoulder. "God fucking dammit it all!" he screamed, tears rolling from his eyes.
"Fuck Eddie, breathe!" Garrett said harshly. "Would you stop being so god damn stubborn and proud and let me fucking help you?!"
"I can't...I fucking can't," he cried as he sank to the floor, sobs echoing down the hallway. "He hurt her Garrett...he hurt her and I had to watch," he groaned through his tears, knowing how absolutely ridiculous his behavior was but he was just so tired of it all. "I can't let it go...I just fucking can't let it go..." he hissed.
"I FUCKING KNOW!' Garrett yelled. "I came to find her curled up in the bathroom crying covered in your blood! She was so fucking scared she could not even move! I fucking know he hurt her! And I'm not asking you to let it go, I'm asking you to let me help you find a way to get over it."
Eddie sobbed miserably, grabbing Garrett's shirt, burying his face there. He cried so hard his body ached with each breath he took. He cried for Y/N, he cried for himself, he cried for his situation with Sam, he cried for his spoiled and miss-spent youth, he cried for everything. And when the sobs finally calmed, the empty numb sensation was welcomed.
"I think I'm going to need some help too," he sniffed, hiccupping softly. "Maybe we all will," he mused as he wiped his face with the back of his hand. Suddenly realizing Garrett had witnessed his breakdown, he looked at him, contrite. "God, I'm sorry," he apologized.
"Don't apologize. There is no need. I know you think I'm just saying it, but you're my friend too." Garrett said sincerely.
Eddie nodded quietly after a brief meeting of eyes and a wary smile.
"Thank you, Gar," he said, thinking of offering his hand but opted to hug him instead. "Hellava way to continue a friendship," he tried to joke. Garrett hugged him back, "Well then we'll have a right to say we've been through hell and back."
Eddie grinned into his shoulder as he pounded him on the back with his good hand. "You can definitely say that again," he replied.
Y/N spent the next three days in grueling therapy while the doctors and staff regulated her medications. The sessions were painful and heart wrenching. Y/N participated with her therapist undergoing intense grief counseling for the end of her relationship with Scott to the sexual assault. Y/N had never cried so much in her entire life. She was a weeping mess, bursting into tears at every moment.
Her only saving grace was that each night, she returned to her room to find Eddie waiting for her. Sleeping in his arms had become the real therapy while she remained an inpatient. She often stayed up at night, just watching the singer as he slept feeling so grateful for him. She had only experienced a lapse in memory once more after that first night earning her a night in seclusion and restrained. That had been the last straw.
She knew she was either going to have to pull it together or she would lose everything she had. And she wasn't willing to do that. Not ever. Once she had begun participating in the sessions, she was amazed at how fast she recovered. The guys had spent every evening with her, ordering pizza, playing games, just goofing off. It had been good for all of them; they were closer than ever. The best part was that she felt like she was truly beginning to be one of them. She fit like a glove, not only in Eddie's life but in all of their lives.
Y/N waited in her room looking out the window. Eddie would be there any minute and they would attend the last therapy session together. Her psychiatrist was going to sit in as well. The staff had been firm but cared for her excellently. Her bags were packed and she was full of nerves thinking that she would be going back to Eddie's old apartment tonight. She hoped she could sleep there. It was scary to think of it, but she knew she had to face up eventually.
Eddie was nervous as he got out the cab and walked into the hopsital. He was happy it was Y/N's last session, but he was nervous about being there. It had been killing him to see Y/N so devastated and doing nothing more but hold her to try and soothe her. He could understand it, though. He'd been going to his own therapy sessions himself and it had been harsh. Without realizing it, he was in Y/N's room knocking softly on the door.
"Hey, baby. Ready to get out of here?"
Y/N grinned sweetly as she saw Eddie enter her room. Her heart lurched at the very sight of him. He was wearing faded jeans and a Metallica t-shirt that was haphazardly tucked into his jeans showing a studded silver belt and his signature leather jacket and battle vest. His narrow hips poked through the low-rise denim seductively as he closed the door behind him.
"Yes," Y/N replied as she continued to look at her lover. "Not so excited about going back to your place though," Y/N admitted. "Maybe we should stay with Garrett for a while, he offered earlier this week," she continued as she leaned against the window.
"Well you shouldn't worry too much about that," Eddie told her with a smile. "You have a very thoughtful boyfriend who already took care of that.
"I knew Garrett would be okay with it," Y/N told him, biting her lip as Eddie got closer to her. "You did that just for me?" She asked. She couldn't express how much she appreciated her friends and Eddie for arranging that for her. She couldn't go home, not just yet. "Now what am I going to have to do to repay you?" She asked as Eddie continued to inch closer. His eyes shined mischievously and Y/N loved every minute of it.
"I think you know," Eddie said with a grin. "You're going to have to spoil me because I've been so great and taking such good care of you," he said with a smile. "I even brought you some chocolate," he said pulling it out of his pocket.
Y/N continued to nibble on her lower lip as she watched Eddie pull out a handful of almond Hershey kisses. "Kisses, huh?" She asked, looking into his hand then back into his smiling eyes. "You have been amazing," Y/N whispered softly as Eddie moved into her personal space.
"I think my ego needs a little stroking here. How amazing?" Eddie asked with a grin as stayed close to Y/N's face, almost tasting her, but still not touching her.
Y/N bit back a moan at the feeling of Eddie so close yet not touching her. The last night had been especially difficult. Eddie had finally be released from his shoulder immobilizer and being in his arms was beginning to arouse her again. She didn't want Eddie to suspect as she was afraid it was still too soon.
"Does it now?" Y/N replied, making sure her lips almost grazed Eddie's.
"I'm sure there are several things that are in need of my 'stroking' attention," she whispered, brushing her body against his, but only for a second, before looking into his eyes, deeply. Y/N licked her lips slowly, feeling the heat sizzling between their bodies.
Eddie grinned, he was really loving this but it was too soon, he could tell just by looking into Y/N's eyes.
"Yeah, but you are not ready for that yet," he said softly. "So I'm willing to be a good little boyfriend and keep my hands and my dick to myself," he said smiling.
Just the mention of Eddie's dick had Y/N's mouth watering like crazy.
"Maybe, maybe not..." she replied, "but it's not too soon for this," she growled as she closed the distance and fused their mouths together, opening immediately, stroking his tongue with her and dragging it along his lips.
Eddie could have melted under Y/N's touch, he could have collapsed if Y/N's hands hadn't found their way to his waist. He holds on to Y/N's arms as he tilts his head and deepens the kiss wanting to press even closer to her.
Y/N smiled at Eddie's response and she moved a hand to his neck while softly pulling at Eddie's tongue with her lips. God, he tasted good. She hadn't forgotten, just didn't remember how it made her entire body tremble with need.
"Fuck," Y/N groaned, as they broke for air, speechless to how her body was reacting. "The Hershey kisses don't' have a thing on you, baby," she teased as she took his mouth again, unable to resist one last leisure kiss.
Eddie smiled into the kiss, all that nervousness from the day forgotten. When they broke apart, he rested his forehead against Y/N's.
"How would you know? Haven't tried one yet."
"Believe me," Y/N panted softly against his lips, leaning hard into his forehead for support. "I don't think that anything could make me feel the way you do when your lips touch mine," she mused, inhaling Eddie's sweet breath. "Even...chocolate kisses..." she whispered softly.
Eddie laughed. "Y/N? I'm horny and fucking hard and we have to meet with your shrink," he noted.
"And you think I'm not flustered as well?" She said amusedly, leaning in for another kiss as her door opened and an orderly poked his head in.
"Its showtime," he smiled in at the pair.
Eddie nodded and pulled away from Y/N, grabbing her hand.
"You're evil," he said amused. "But we really need to wait a bit longer, Y/N."
"What did I do?" Y/N called incredulously as Eddie dragged her out of the room behind the orderly.
"You're being all sexy with me!" Eddie said with a smile to show that he wasn't upset. "And it's too soon."
"Eddie! Come on, I wasn't being all sexy!" She said as they continued following behind the orderly to the therapist offices. "I just kissed you, it's not too soon for that," Y/N told him quietly so the orderly could not hear her.
"Well yeah, but we're going to be sharing a new apartment together and kisses like that are dangerous," Eddie replied. Fuck. He had just ruined the surprise.
Y/N's eyes went round and wide, she stopped walking and dropped Eddie's hand.
"What?" She asked, realizing they were almost to the therapist's office. "What did you say?" Y/N asked a hint of smile in the corner of her mouth.
"Fuck. Well..." Eddie said running his hand through his hair. "When we got some stuff from your apartment I freaked. Then Garrett freaked with the way i was being there so we decided you weren't going back. So, he said we should look for a new place for you and me at the same time and we did. But there was like nothing available except this one place and Garrett told me to take it and if you didn't want to stay with me or whatever, he'd let you crash on his couch."
Y/N felt her stomach leap with joy. She wouldn't have to go back to Eddie's old place ever? And she was moving in with Eddie? Y/N threw back her head, clapping a hand over her wide grin with surprise.
"You are kidding me?" She asked before barreling herself into Eddie's arms, throwing her arms around his neck. "Not want to stay with you? Are you insane?" She growled animatedly.
Eddie almost fell backwards as Y/N threw herself at him. He was smiling from ear to ear but he was blushing too.
"Well I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything... You're still recovering and all... And maybe you think it's too soon," he rambled nervously.
"No!" Y/N yelled, smiling from ear to ear. "I know it's soon but, Eds...I love you," she whispered softly as she stroked the back of Eddie's neck. "I want to be with you. It would be silly to for us to each have our own places when I'd keep you hostage at mine all the time," she continued, kissing the singer on the lips. "Oh yea, I'm not supposed to do that," she added, grinning teasingly.
Eddie grinned not even caring that the orderly was watching them impatiently.
"I love you too," he said softly before he pulled Y/N for a kiss.
"Wait...I thought we weren't allowed to kiss," Y/N cut in, her eyes full of humor as Eddie pulled her close.
Eddie just raised and eyebrow at her and shook his head. "I'm glad you're finding this so funny," he said, "Because I don't... I was trying to wait until you feel comfortable," he said truthfully, remember how depressed Y/N had been lately. He did not want to push into anything just because of hormones.
Y/N softened at Eddie's words. She knew he was right. She just wanted to be back to normal so desperately, she had gotten carried away.
"I'm sorry," Y/N apologized, looking over at the scowling orderly. "I appreciate everything you've done for me. You are so wonderful," Y/N told him. "I love you baby," she whispered. "Please kiss me," she added, "I think I'm comfortable with that."
"No need to say you're sorry." Eddie told her with a smile. "I really want to be all romantic and cuddly with you, but I need to know you're okay before I do any of that. You mean a lot to me Y/N and I want to take care of you the right way." he said softly before giving his girlfriend an encouraging smile and kissing her lovingly.
Y/N cupped Eddie's face with both hands, smiling softly into the kiss her boyfriend had lain on her lips. Her body was exploding with love and affection for the metalhead, knowing how incredibly lucky they were to have found each other.
"Let's go get this over with so I can check out our new pad," she smiled sweetly.
Eddie nodded and grabbed Y/N's hand again. As he walked with her he made a mental note, 'Cold shower as soon as I get to the apartment.'
"Come in, Y/N, Eddie, please have a seat," the doctor announced as they made their way into the office. "Eddie, how's it going?" the doctor asked as they sat on the sofa together. Y/N crossed her legs and entwined her fingers nervously with his.
Eddie smiles nervously. "It's alright. How are you Dr,?" he asked as he thumbed Y/N's hand softly.
"Good, good," he told them. "Y/N? You ready to get out of here?" the doctor looked at Y/N.
"I believe so, doc. thanks to everyone here," Y/N replied, looking down at Eddie's hand locked within hers.
"You have made a great progressive start, Y/N. However, your work is not over by sometime yet. I want you to continue going to outpatient therapy as we discussed. And Eddie, I was glad to hear that you have also sought some assistance for the trauma you both have endured both recently and in the past. Y/N is still going to be quite moody for a while. Some moments being completely normal while others closed off and distant. Just know that the kinds of mood swings are necessary to get through this kind of issue. The only thing I am particularly concerned about is the depression that results after treatment for complex post traumatic stress disorder begins. The medication will help of course but the warning signs will be subtle, do you understand what I'm saying?" the doctor looked at Eddie for confirmation.
Eddie nodded. His therapist had talked to him about this as well and it scared him. He could deal with Y/N not being her usual self from time to time but how was he to notice the small things? Was he good enough to take care of her? He had no clue, but he hoped he was.
"Yeah," he said finally.
The doctor immediately noticed Eddie's hesitancy.
"It's really not hard to see the signs," he began softly. "You'll know if and when your partner is heading toward troubles. And Y/N's job is to try not to bottle things so much. Her tendency to take over and control things is something she will have to work on," he added, looking towards Y/N who was squirming on the couch with discomfort. "So don't take her 'I can handle it on my own' for an answer, because she can't. She needs to talk it out, she needs to depend on others. It's the only way she will be able to survive this," the doctor told them firmly.
Eddie nodded again, feeling Y/N's grip on his hand a little more tense.
"Okay," he replied with what he hoped was a small smile.
"Good, now that we got that out of the way," the doctor looked at each of them. "Is there anything either of you would like to discuss before you go?" he asked. Y/N looked at Eddie for a moment, feeling anxious and ready to go. She wasn't one hundred percent sure she would be able to follow all of the doctor's instructions to the letter but she was ready to give it a shot. She hoped Eddie felt the same way.
Eddie smiled as Y/N looked at him, almost telling him silently with her eyes.
"I think I'm good," he said truthfully.
"Well, off you go then," the doctor looked at Y/N with a smile. "You know you can call me any time, either of you, day or night. Questions, concerns, anything at all," he told them. "And Y/N, listen to me, you focus on staying in the present. And if you need to talk, then talk for god's sake. Do not hold it inside. You have so many people who care about you. So many people who will listen when you need to talk. There is no need for you to suffer with the stress alone," he added. Y/N nodded quietly.
"I will, doc. I promise to try my best," she told him, squeezing Eddie's hand again.
Eddie smiled at the doctor one more time and they waved their good-byes before they walked out to get Y/N's stuff.

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A/N: wow! Love you guys so much! Hope you're enjoying this as much as i am writing it!