Silent Love// Wilbur X reader

A Not So Guilty Conscience CHAPTER 2

Enjoy:))  Fanart: https://mobile.twitter.com/VirtanenCandela
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A Not So Guilty Conscience
CHAPTER 2
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I woke up quite suddenly, and oddly not to any in particular. My headache had subsided but was definitely still there, gladly I wasn’t too hungover. my head whipped to look beside me, and to no avail, Kit was nowhere to be found. “Kit?” I yelled into the apartment. My call was quickly met with the mysterious woman showing up in the doorway. “What do you want, Soot?” She asked, her voice deeper than before. “What are you doing?” I asked, rubbing my tired eyes. “Looking for some half decent food in this shithole” She replied, watching me for a second “…No offence” She said quickly before disappearing back into my kitchen, as I remembered I had no shirt on. Great… I slowly pushed myself out of bed and went to shut the door. “Don’t take too long getting dressed, Soot, we’ve got things to do today” She said from the other side of the door. As I collected the clothes I would wear, I was quickly made reminiscent of the events of the night before. The more I thought about it, the more afraid I became. I can't do this shit! I pulled on a sweater and jacket as my thoughts spun in my head. Eventually I knew I had to break things off with this girl. Once I had opened the door, Kit was already eyeing me. I locked eyes with her as I walked past, stopping not far behind. “Listen, Kit we need to talk” I muttered, nervously tapping my finger on the counter. “About?” she said sternly, closing the fridge door and turning to face me. I took a deep breath not wanting to look her in the eyes, She was going to be right pissed. “I can't do this… I can’t help you” Her expression dropped. “Well I'm sorry to hear that, but there's no backing out now” She spoke as if she was trying her very hardest to hide her frustration. I had to get out of this. “No Kit, I'm not fucking doing this” I said looking her in the eyes. She slightly threw her arms in the air, Letting them fall back at her sides. She turned around and opened my fridge once more. “Alright listen here Soot, you said you would help me” She spoke a little more angrily this time, her voice beginning to raise. “I was drunk when I said those things!” I yelled at her. And out of nowhere she slammed the fridge door, turning around. “And you shook my hand! drunk or not you shook my hand!” She yelled back, pressing her finger on my chest. Her erratic movements had taken me by surprise, as I felt my heart rate heighten and my blood run cold. Her face was awkwardly close to mine. “Remember you're not just helping me, I'm helping you as well,” Kit whispered, as she slowly pecked my lips. Jesus christ she has confidence. I felt my face go red hot, “Fine…” I said quietly, feeling defeated. “Good” she smiled widely, brushing her hand on the side of my face. “You got any cans?” she asked, her intentions immediately changing. “Uhm, why..?” She smirked while watching me. “Shooting practice”
Today was definitely less cold but the sky was a dark gray. I knew the rain would eventually return. I followed Kit down the same alley as the night before. The subway ride here was actually quite peaceful, sitting with her in silence. “Alright now I'm going to be giving you a pistol for the time being, so you need to shut up and listen to me, because I need to show you how to use it properly” she spoke firmly, as we arrived at the dead end of the alley. my heart was almost pounding up and out of my throat I was so nervous. “Alright, but what if I don't want to shoot anyone..?” I asked, uneasy with the idea of hurting someone with no past knowledge of them. Kit sighed, glancing away, looking almost solem for a moment. “I get it ok..? I don’t like it either, but I need you to trust me when I say these people deserve it” Her eyes found mine again, she also seemed uncomfortable with the topic. “I do, I trust you,” I said, and surprisingly she actually smiled back. “Alright then” She said, rummaging through her bag. Eventually she pulled out a small matte black handgun. The sight put me on edge but I knew this was something I would have to get used to. “Are you good to take it?” She reassured me, holding out the weapon for me to grab. “Yeah…” I said quietly, gently taking the gun and holding it in my hand. It gave me an odd mixture of power and fear. I stared at it in my hand as Kit moved to stand beside me. “Okay, now, hold it outwards, outstretching your arm” I watched her, trying to copy her position. “Try..” She muttered, pushing my arm out just a little while looking up at me. I watched every one of her movements. I looked her up and down, quickly not wanting her to notice, but I wasn't very slick. She had a way with things that I couldn't exactly put my finger on. “I'm gonna count you down, and then you're going to shoot the cans” Meters ahead of me, Kit had stacked a few empty cans of coke on a dumpster. “Three…” She said, my body began feeling hot. “Two…” The gun was slightly shaking, making a clicking sound. “One”
there was silence, I couldn’t do it. “I- I’m sorry, count again” I told her, not moving.
“three… two”
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes.
“Fuck it!” I said, pulling the trigger. My ears started ringing and I felt my arm take back the pressure of the bullet leaving the gun. Immediately all of the cans were knocked off of the dumpster and were now scattered in an array through the whole alley. “Good,” She said. I felt a wave of security wash over me. It really wasn’t as bad as I thought. Kit had quite a wide smile on her face “Help me set up the cans and do it again”
 
After almost 4 hours of practice and aimless chatting my arms were beginning to ache with the constant push back of the handgun.
“You don’t look bad with a gun in your hand Soot…” I quickly glanced over at Kit, lightly smirking. “What’s that supposed to mean huh?” I asked her, still with the smirk painted over my pale face. She turned away to grab her bag in what I would assume was her hiding her face. “Whatever you want it to mean” She muttered, slinging her small bag over her shoulder. I wanted to get more of an answer out of her, but I figured I'd let her flirt. I glanced down the alleyway breathing in the moist air. Something caught my eye. Someone was walking toward us from the very far end of the alley. “Kit…” I said quietly. The figure resembled a tall malnourished man, He was walking oddly fast. Kit walked to stand beside me, placing her bag back down behind her. “Welcome to your first lesson Soot…” she sighed. I felt my mouth go dry instantly. “Get behind me and carefully put the gun behind your back.” She whispered. I took her commands and backed up slowly concealing the weapon behind my me. “Maverick!” The man cursed at Kit. I wanted to protect her, but I was no use. “What does she want now?” Kit asked, with a tone of annoyance in her voice. “Your dead you and your little boyfriend are fucking dead!” He yelled. He was almost running at this point as he reached for his pants. He was feet away from her as he whipped a switchblade from his pocket. Oh fuck.
time stopped for a moment. He was so close to stabbing her, too close for comfort. Kit had placed her bag back down just minutes before. She had no weapon on her, no way to defend herself. She had no knife, no gun. But I did.
I pulled the gun out from behind me, I clasped my eyes shut and pulled the trigger aiming at the speeding man. And then silence. I re-opened my eyes looking down at the unconscious man who bled from his leg. “I'm so sorry…” I whimpered looking at the man. “Don’t be…” She grabbed onto my arm letting her head fall down, trying to catch her breath. “Are you alright..?” I asked, looking down at her. “I am, oh…” she said quietly, looking me in the eyes, I felt like I was going to vomit. “Will he be okay?” I asked as I felt the guilt wash over me, looking at the poor defenseless man, trying not to gag. “We don’t want him to be.. but yes he’ll be alright” There was a few seconds of silence before she took her hand off my arm. “We have to leave, now” Kit’s voice was calm and controlled. My whole body was frozen, and had a violent tremor. “Come on Soot, before someone finds this guy” She grabbed her bag and nonchalantly slipped her fingers into my hand. Pulling me along with her. “But he’s-“ I tried talking as we ran down the puddled alley. “He's hurt, I know! We can't do anything about it”
Once we had reached the outside of my apartment building something was off. I felt like we were being watched. “Alright now, listen very carefully, tomorrow we’re going to meet with a woman, got me?” she assured, walking quickly as we entered the complex. I glanced at the time, 6:39pm. The familiar silver finishings of the huge building glistened as she finally slowed her pace. “Wait, who is this woman?” I asked, catching up to her “Irrelevant…” She muttered as if the topic seemingly wasn’t all that important. “Well what the fuck do you suggest we do now then huh?” I spoke to her, coming off as a little cocky. My mind was still racing at the thought of the alley-man's fate. That's when she paused, turning on one foot to face me. “You’re the boss,” She said, smirking, as I realized I had done my part in her askings today. Almost immediately I felt myself grow excited. My face went red at her confidence, but I felt too awkward to hide it. She snickered, as she went to walk for the elevator, she knew I would follow her. She stepped into the elevator. I noticed as the doors began closing and I quickly slipped myself into the enclosed room as the metal sliding door contracted. The elevator was silent, but we both knew it wouldn't be too silent in the next few moments. I was nervous, too nervous. I hadn't been with a girl for almost a year. “Hey uhm, Ki-” I began, still not sure where I was going. But she caught me mid sentence, already sensing my emotions. “Nervous?” She said blatantly. “No!” I spoke, maybe a little too loud, feeling as the elevator hurled to a stop. “Just picture me naked” She said, stifling as she held in her laughter. “Really helpful…” I muttered, looking up at the ceiling. The doors eventually opened, revealing the floor we were in. We both left the elevator making a right. Our room wasn’t that far down. “Hey, maybe just not tonight..?” I said, trying my best to stall. She didn’t stop as I suspected she would. “You sure? you do have this right, it was my side of the deal” She spoke, as we arrived at my small home. I unlocked the door, thinking for a moment. I was so unprofessional, or maybe just unprepared, probably both… “Yeah I’m sure, let’s wait till tomorrow or something” I said as I let her enter the room before I did myself, locking the door in return. “Is it me?” She asked, seeming a little hurt. “No, No, No! not at all, it’s me” I tried to save myself. It really wasn’t her at all. I wasn't lying about that, I was just unsure of her ideals. I'm most likely pathetic in her eyes, I didn't want to be a pity hookup, but I guess that was the whole deal. “If that’s what you want, sure” She said, sounding dissatisfied. “I'm going to try and sleep then… don’t keep yourself up too late, Soot” She set her hand on the doorframe peering at me over her shoulder. I stood solemnly watching her dark figure in the door. “Promise” I whispered as I saw her disappear into what was now our room. “Pfft…” I exhaled, my head falling back. I almost immediately regretted my decision. Now she thinks I hate her. I sat tiredly on my couch almost wanting to cry at the stress of the earlier events of the day and what we had to do tomorrow. she was so strong to go through this every day, the hands of suffering belonged to her. I wanted to heal her. help her. But I don't know if I have those capabilities. I truly was looking forward to my night with her, curious on how it would turn out. Then again I wanted to go lay with her again, but I was still too much of a pussy to even do that. After I had sat thinking for what seemed like hours. It was only 7:50pm, and I was finally tired of sitting and desperately waiting for something to happen. I stood up rubbing my eye, I grabbed the corner of my t-shirt, pulled it over my head and dropped it on the floor, feeling the cold air touch my bare chest and back. I trudged over to the bedroom, quietly opening the door, not wanting to wake the girl in my bed. In 2 minutes I had only closed the door I was trying so hard. “It’s okay I’m still awake” I heard Kit mumble in the pillows. I sighed, feeling a little embarrassed for myself. “Why aren’t you asleep?” I said unbuckling my belt, my mind was too full to give a shit about what she thought, she was in her undergarments anyways. She looked pretty. “Thinking...” She said quietly. Kit adjusted herself, opening her eyes to look up and watch me. Now that she was watching I was a lot more nervous, but my pants were already to my knees and I'd look like more of an idiot if I pulled them back up. I fell onto my side of the bed, taking a deep breath the second I hit the mattress. Taking a second to pay some attention to the significance of her breathing. “Why’d you really get nervous?” She asked, turning around so she could look at me now, resting her head in her hand. “Do you want the truth?” I asked. “I want nothing but the truth,” She said in silence. I thought for a second taking her words into account. I turned my head to see her more clearly. We were close, and I liked that. I stared into her eyes for a small slot of time before she received her answer. “Insecurities and shit” I couldn't look her in the eyes saying that. She watched for a second looking strangely surprised. “Well… I don’t think you need to be” She said seductively, softly running her hand down my bare chest. She stared at her own fingers as they reached my stomach. My insides were circling, over and over. I wanted her. Her hand returned to my chest as she left the weight of her hand resting on me. In a split second I decided to take a risk. “I want you so bad right now” I said quietly, watching her now. She smirked. “I know you do,” She said silently. And without hurry she lowered herself to my lips, gently kissing me, except she didn’t stop, and I had no issue with it. She kissed me differently than earlier, it had meaning this time. I lightly held the side off her face. her lips had a sweet smokey taste, I liked it more than I should’ve. She eventually pulled away only an inch as our lips departed. “Still nervous?” She whispered. Her warm breath found its way to my neck, she was too much. “Not at all,” I admitted, feeling genuinely confident. I pulled her back down to touch her lips again, feeling her smoothly kiss me back. I was glad that whatever this feeling is, was mutual. Still without losing contact she pushed the blanket off of her, straddling her legs over me, sitting herself down on my waist. I wanted to caress and kiss every part of her body. My hands moved from her cheeks to her waist, holding her to me with the will to explore every inch of her body. She pulled up again “Are we gonna do this?” She asked, her face quite red even showing in the dark. “Are we..?” I questioned. And without a doubt, her silence gave me my answer.