Silent Love// Wilbur X reader

The Safety You Hold CHAPTER 4

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The Safety You Hold
CHAPTER 4
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Once we had both gained the courage to allow our exit we were back in the streets. rain was beating down now, and it wouldn’t be long before we were soaked. We walked almost in the centre of the street. The both of us were in a daze, confused about our sudden gentle manner with each other, just moments ago. “I think you have a few things to tell me, miss” I spoke firmly, but still maintaining without a hint of anger. “We'll stop for food like you wanted, then we can talk'' she didn’t stumble with her words, she spoke them quite fluently, but something in her voice sounded won over, dissatisfied, disappointed. The rushing white noise of the rain was getting louder and the signs felt like they were only getting progressively brighter. my glasses were speckled with small drops of water. “Let's stop here” I pointed to a red lit diner. “You know this place?” she asked, looking confused as it was now me leading her around. “No, but I'd rather get dry sooner or later” I glanced back at her as I jumped up the steps and grabbed the ice cold handle of the door to the restaurant. I held it open waiting for her to enter before I walked in after her, closing the door behind me. The small bell on the door chimed through the small building, sounding our presence. the sign just ahead of us read
“Please wait to be seated” Kit took the liberty of ignoring the sign, walking straight past it. I didn’t attempt to stop her, it really was just a table and I had a feeling we wouldn’t be here long either way. We both sat down and sighed. I ran my hand through my damp hair as she watched me. “belt?” she mouthed. I quickly pressed my stomach area feeling the weight underneath. I nodded back at her, securing her worries. “let’s start with the obvious here, what in god's name happened while I was passed out?” she really thought hard for a second, calculating her answer. “nonsensical arguments” she said quietly, peering out the window beside us. I reached my arm over the table and softly grabbed her by her chin, slowly turning her face to see her right cheek. She didn’t fight me on my movements, but she remained with keeping her eyes off of me. her upper cheek was slightly bruised, relievingly not too badly. “she hit you again..” I felt burdened by the strange woman’s actions. “Only once more” she pushed my hand from her face. “More importantly, I found a way to get my brother back” she admitted, looking as if she’d finally built the courage to look me in the eyes now. “The deal made claims that we will receive my brother at the given location, three days from now at midnight, if we can get her one thing in return” my heart dropped lightly. “What in return,” I anxiously leaned back on the hard booth seats. she didn’t answer. “Kit what?” I repeated. “for the death of one of their associates, the night before we’re to have my brother returned” she explained. my mind was running miles and miles by now. “I can't do that again Kit i’m sorry” I whispered. “I know, that’s why I'm going to do it” I couldn't talk her out of saving her own brother. I would've done just the same to have my own back in my life. “alright then…” I exhaled, boggling my mind at the situation I had stuck myself in only a few nights ago. I had a gun under my belt for fuck sake. but when I looked up at the woman I was doing this for, it really didn’t seem that bad. “Kit?” I asked, looking up at her, my head facing downwards. “Yes, Soot?” she answered, watching me now. “What's your brother's name?” she smiled for a second, I assumed she was thinking of him. “Ty… his name is Ty” her small smile was slowly fading but it still remained. I was excited that she would be able to have her brother back and be able to take him somewhere safe. “I have a query for you too actually…” she tapped her nail on the counter. “And that is?” I replied with interest. distant bustling could be heard from the diner kitchen. Kit sat up a little, reaching into the back pocket of her black jeans. I watched like a curious puppy, my eyes following her every move. Eventually she pulled out a small white rectangle of what looked like laminated paper. She looked at it for a moment before placing it on the table and slid it to me. “Who's the boy?” she asked. The item she carried was actually an old instant polaroid. I gently took the photo, my fingers beginning to shake. I stared at the image for a moment, feeling a wave of guilty nausea wash over my body. burned into the paper was an old photo taken of me and my brother, Tommy. The photo was dated only two or three years ago, and hadn’t seen the light of day in ages. “Where'd you find this?” I said quietly. There was a short pause before Kit's answer. “Your bedroom drawers” she said guiltily. I didn't have any anger for her looking through my things, I didn't have much worth hiding. There was a ringing in my ears, as I fought the urge not to break down. I hadn’t seen the photo that was clutched gently between my fingers in a long time. I think I was avoiding looking at it. “That’s Tommy” That’s all I felt like saying, I didn’t really care if she didn’t know him. She stayed silent, waiting for me to continue. “My brother,” I admitted, that word hurt especially. “You guys don’t look much alike…” she pointed out, adjusting how she sat, looking a little more awkward now. “we’re not biological,” she thought for a second, looking at the window again. “Well, tell me what happened. She placed her elbow on the table and rested her head on her hand. “what?” I asked, a little surprised at her accuracy in observation. “Well obviously something happened, tell me” I didn't respond, i desperately wanted to tell her, but i was scared of digging up something I had buried so deep. “you can trust me” she whispered, allowing her hand to softly rest on mine. I stared at our touching hands. Maybe this would be good. I took a deep breath before beginning my recap. “When Tommy was 15 he was suffering pretty badly in an abusive household, as his father was an alcoholic and was getting angrier after each day passed. soon enough he was taken out of his home and his only safe living option was me” Kit listened contently, taking in every word that left my lips. “Tommy lived with me right up until he was 18-19 and we both considered each other family. Once he had moved out we still spoke with each other and saw one another almost every week. around that time my band had kicked me out due to my loss of focus, I fell reliable on alcohol, and tommy wanted to see me less and less, until when he was 20, one day he came to me and told me that he was scared that I might turn into his father” Kits face dropped. “And the worst part is, I think I was drunk when he said that to me.” That was what really hurt, he couldn’t even confess his fear without having the alcohol speak for me. “not even a week after he had filed for a restraining order… never once did I lay a finger on the poor boy…” my eyes were burning and my vision became blurry, but i quickly blinked it away. She didn’t say anything, but her grip on my hand tightened. “I think he’s engaged now, with a baby on the way…” I scoffed at his future that I wished I could be a part of. “i’m sorry…” she said so silently, staring at my eyes, not in intimidation, but rather support. “is there something i can do?” she asked. “No, Thank you but the damage has already been done” I sighed, wiping my eyes before tears started running. She saw my pain, I was vulnerable. out of nowhere, there was a woman at the end of our table, looming over us. she took a few good looks at us, failing to hide her judgement. “drinks?” she grumbled, she was a plump woman, with curly silver hair and brown streaks. “Whis-“ I began. “We’ll both have water” Kit interrupted me, quickly peering over. The woman scribbled on her small pad of paper as she trudged away. “Now, let’s eat and go home” she clutched my hand again. “Let’s do that”
Once we had gotten our food, I felt a lot more open now, with the past uncomfort, came comfort now. “Now…” Kit began, covering her mouth as she chewed her food and spoke simultaneously. “I don't mean to pour salt on an open wound, but who’s your brother engaged too?” she said, relishing her food. I figured talking about it more would be a good thing, as I had suppressed the whole matter until now. “A girl named Erin, I believe they met when they were each 17” I answered, shoveling food into my mouth. “Mm…” she uttered, staring away for a second. “So, what’s this Tommy kid like?” she questioned. I enjoyed thinking about Tommy, and Kit had done that. Being around her was so intoxicating, and I loved it. Although I knew almost everything about Tommy, I still had to think of what to say. “Well he’s creative, work driven and super funny” I went on, her face kept catching my attention, yet for no particular reason. Her eyes were emerald ice ships, so fair nevertheless bright. “What about you, what's your brother like?” I asked, peering up through my curly thin hair that sat aimlessly on my forehead. she didn’t look at me, she remained focused on her food. “He's very shy, but outgoing around people he likes, he loves to draw and he used to make his own little comics for me to read.” I smiled faintly, “sounds like a good kid” I added, finishing off what was left of my food. “He is,” she smiled, taking a bite of the eggs on the end of her fork. she had such a sweet smile, I wanted her to smile more, I wanted to see it more. I was reminded of her affection towards me this morning, looking back at how she kissed me so gently. I genuinely hoped that she wasn’t saving face for our deal. I wanted to kiss her again so badly, just as I had done the night before. She was so confident yet angelic, the way her nose crinkled each time she smiled and the way her cheeks turned a light crimson each time I would look at her, her silk blackish hair that sat askewlly perfect. I couldn't stop looking at her. no matter what i did she always stood there in the back of my mind in somewhat of a haunting manner. But maybe I liked the horror? aimlessly I watched her, She looked good. She always looked good. Suddenly there was a hand in front of my face. Kit snapped her fingers to grab my attention “Hello? Soot?” she asked as I finally noticed her. “sorry…” I blurted out, snapping from my trance. The table had been cleared and Kit was getting up from her seat. “Let's go home” she said as I sat up from my own seat. I softly kissed her forehead as I stood up, taking her by surprise. “let’s go”
Once we had returned to the apartment again, I relieved myself of the stress that sat under my belt, placing the weapon carefully on the countertop. “I’ll be in the shower, and you should shower too if you've got gas on you” Kit quickly made her way to our now shared room, to what i assumed was to collect her clothes. I peered into the bedroom as she walked out, shooting me a small smile before entering the washroom. I exhaled, not noticing the smile on my own face as she ushered the door shut. I aimlessly walked into the kitchen and opened my fridge, not exactly knowing what to do with myself. My eyes immediately locked on the half empty bottle of gin. I wanted to grab it. I shouldn’t, but I want to. it would only be this one time, then I would stop after. But I knew that wasn’t true. I closed the fridge door. My eyebrows were deeply knitted and My mouth slightly ajar in this ill agony the absence of the drink brought me. I pushed myself to the sink, twisting the knob on as cold water rushed from the silver tap. I held my hands under the liquid, waiting a few seconds before plunging my face into my hands. I let my skin adjust to the cold water that rested in my cupped hands. I had shivers down my spine as I removed my hands off of my face. I sat for a moment with my gaze facing the inside of my sink, quietly panting. I felt the sickness begin to fade. I sighed, I need my high I need a drink. Just as I was about to give in, and take the walk of shame back to my fridge I heard Kit yell from the washroom. “Soot?” she called, not angrily, but more questionable. What could she want me for right now? I thought to myself. I quickly made my way to the bathroom door, pushing it open, just a crack. “Yes?” I asked. warm air came from the washroom, meeting my face as the hot shower ran. I waited a few seconds for her response. “Maybe we could save water” she sounded a little awkward with the ask. Of course I wanted to, but how do I just say that? “Uhm… sure, just give me a moment”  I told her, carefully shutting the door. Fuck, my blood was pumping now. I felt myself begin to sweat. “Stop it wilbur!” I cursed at myself under my breath. I quickly rushed to my room, rapidly finding cleaner clothes to wear afterwards. but even with my curses, my sweat didn't stop. “Fuck!” I said to myself again, hitting myself in the face. I felt the light sting on my cheek as I looked over at the bathroom entrance through our bedroom door. it felt so far away. Maybe I just won’t go. But I wanted to, and I couldn't lie to the girl in there, that random girl who I admired so dearly. “C’mon wilbur don’t be a pussy and go join her” I whispered. I forced myself to begin walking, afraid that my body would begin to freeze. I became more nervous with every small insignificant step I took towards the small washroom. I was feeling every second as my skin was going pale and cold. I rested my hand on the bathroom doorknob, hearing the sound of rushing water. here goes nothing…
I turned the door open just a little as I had done earlier. “Can I come in now?” my voice echoed across the bathroom walls. “Of course…” she said quickly. I cautiously walked in, immediately eyeing her. I turned around to close the door, hearing the quiet click. She looks too beautiful. my mind was buzzing with excitement and fear all at the same time. I turned around again, locking eyes with her this time. “Are you gonna shower in your clothes or what?” she asked, with that familiar smirk on her face, as she washed her hair. “No…” I said embarrassed. This was the nerve-wracking part of it. I grabbed the bottom of the fabric on my sweater, quickly pulling it up and over my head. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I didn't exactly like how skinny I was, but then again as I watched my reflection, I didn't look bad. My heart was racing as I grabbed hold of my belt, pulling it out of the folds and removing it enough to loosen my pants. Through the corner of my eye I could tell she was watching me through the foggy glass. I allowed my pants to fall to my ankles, kicking them off and onto the floor. I was only in boxers at this point and she still kept her eye on me. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous, I did have sex with her just a night ago. Here we go, I guess. I pulled down my boxers and let them join my pants on the floor. I removed my glasses and placed them on the small counter. I felt quite vulnerable, but to be fair she had been undressed since the moment I stepped in. I grabbed the fogged glasses and pushed it away. I could see her so much clearer now. her eyes quickly darted to my face and downward before she returned to my face again. “Fighting the urge there Kit?” I repeated her words as of earlier this morning. “Maybe” She muttered. I stepped into the shower officially joining her. It was darker in there, not only were the washroom lights dim but the foggy glass definitely made it darker. The moment the warm water hit my skin I felt my wrists and ankles burn. “Shit!” I swore at myself. I glanced down at my ankles that were red and lightly bloodied, as with my wrists. “You're burnt...” she said quietly, gently grabbing one of my hands. Kit examined the pink burns from the rope. “Take a deep breath” she instructed as she filled her other hand with some of the water that was almost falling on us. I breathed in sharply through my teeth. Kit slowly poured the water in her hand on my burns. It definitely hurt at first, but the time allowed my skin to adjust. “How's that?” she asked me. “Good…” I said with a loud exhale. I stepped into the water again, my burns still tingling, but I was focused on something a lot more important. She admired my face for a second. “Don’t shave the scruff I like it” she brushed her thumb across the short hairs across my face. I smiled awkwardly at her, somewhat surprised by her compliment. It had caught me off guard, normally I would've thought I resembled a homeless man if I didn’t shave. Kit looked up at me for a moment, staring effortlessly into my eyes. Another thought crossed my mind. “So, your full name…” I started, not exactly knowing where I was going. Her eyes immediately averted, despite the hot water, I felt her cold hand lightly grab mine. “I go by Kit for a reason,” she muttered. “And that is..?” I urged her to continue. “I spent a lot of my childhood hearing that name being screamed, mainly by my uncle, I've just decided not to associate as much with it anymore.” Her face was a bright red, it was all over her face, not only her cheeks. “Sometimes I just wish someone would say Kitrina with love” Another hint to my suspicion would be concealed by the shower water that crashed over us. “Hey I'm sorry I didn’t mean to upset you, are you alright?” I asked, softly grabbing her upper arm. I didn't receive an answer. Her lips were twitching, and her eyebrows were furrowed. “No it’s not that...” I took a step closer, wanting her to explain further. “What if we can’t get him back?” she said quietly, sounding conquered. My suspicion was corrected. “No, I don't want you to think like that, because we’re doing everything we can, and you know what? you will get him back” I promised, my hand now finding her cheek. “But wha-“ I stopped her mid sentence “No, no what ifs, he’ll be safe with us soon” I reassured her. She stood blankly for a second, soaking in my words. My eyes fought to trail her body. She snaked her arms around me and placed her head on my wet chest. The shower air was hot. I rested my arms around her, holding her body to mine. I wanted to get rid of her hurt. I closed my eyes, feeling our skin touching. I felt so good being able to hold her to me, being able to touch her, feel her, care about her. “I was scared for you today, Soot,” She whispered. I enjoyed her own support, “That makes two of us.” I felt her cuddle herself further onto my chest, and we just stood there, feeling the hot water spill onto us. My chin rested on her head as my eyes slowly shut. I was finally relaxed, and I loved it.