Home for Horny Monsters - Book Six

Beneath a Broken Sky

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

Mike let out a sigh of exasperation, then sat back in the old recliner he had pulled over to face Freya/Jack. They had leaned forward, sending waves of frost across their couch and through the air. A thick, magical aura pressed against him, making his danger sense flood his veins with ice.

"Look, there's something about me you need to accept," he replied. Off to the side, Holly had taken shelter behind the kitchen counter. Yuki, on the other hand, stood right behind him with a supportive hand on his shoulder. "My magic isn't elemental in nature, despite the whole lightning thing I do. It was always based on sex and intimacy of some sort. It's where I draw power from. Anytime I try to pull that strength from somewhere else, well..." He felt a tinge of pain in his right forearm, a reminder of the potential price he could pay. "It doesn't end well."

"You expect me...us to believe that you need to have your dick sucked the whole time you work your magic?" Freya sneered, then crossed her eye to look at Jack. "And what do you think?"

"It sounds suspicious, but..." Jack looked away from Mike, her cheek flushing. "I mean...if that's how his magic works..."

"It is." Yuki stepped around the chair and sat on the arm, one of her tails tickling Mike's nose. "Look, I've been where you are. You're all anger and impotent rage right now, and it doesn't help that Jack has a weird...attraction to Mike."

"Wait, what?" Mike asked, but Yuki shushed him.

"As I was saying, is it strange? It is. He did something similar to save me, and you are in far worse shape." Yuki crossed her arms. "So what's it going to be? We put a lot of work into saving your collective butt, and this is the solution we came up with. Mike has been busting his balls in dreamland learning how to fix you. If you turn us down now, then I'm of a mind to be done with you. We'll leave you here and try to fix the North Pole without your help. You'll spend the rest of your days fighting over whose turn it is to wipe your own ass."

"Language!" Holly protested.

"My apologies." Yuki looked at Holly, then back at Mike. "Now, in Jack and Freya's defense, Mike, you probably could have spent time building up to your announcement that you would need to be fu...having sex with someone while you work your magic."

"That's not what I said," Mike countered.

"You sat in the chair and told her 'You're not gonna like this,'" Holly said. "And then followed it up with 'I need to be constantly aroused in whatever manner necessary while I work on you.'"

Mike winced. The elf wasn't wrong. He had been going over the plan in his head and had truncated it quite a bit before speaking it aloud. "You're right. I'm sorry everyone, it's been a long day, week? However long it's actually been. Jack, Freya, you know about how a small piece of the women I've been with live inside of my head. All that knowledge is there, but I have no direct way to access it while awake. However, I found a work around when I helped Yuki, because Naia can contact me directly in order to help me with sexual activity."

"Go on." Freya looked doubtful, but she at least wasn't shouting at him.

"Anyway, your case is more complicated. Naia knows soul magic, but you're not just a soul, you're also a magic being. Now Ratu is a naga who specializes in transferring enchantments and manipulating magic. She also knows a thing or two about divinity. Problem is, she's not here to see it. That's where Lily comes in." He pointed to his eyes. "If she spends enough time concentrating in the Dreamscape, she can see what I do and project a version of it on her skin that Ratu can see. Then Ratu can speak with Naia, who can pass it on to me, but only if I'm doing something sexual to keep her summoned. It will be like having a team of people doing the work and not just some guy who figured out he could do it a few days ago."