Don't Tell Me My Fate (FarCry5)

A Soft Touch and a Rough Hand

Jacob had given Ivy a warning before allowing her to have free reign of the center. She wasn't to go near the cages of either people or judges and she was not to leave the grounds, for obvious reasons.
A week had passed since their awkward encounter and Ivy agreed instantly to his terms, feeling she'd lose her damn mind if she was forced to spend any longer in her paint chipped cell.
Dr. Cole had been to assess her that morning and removed her bandages, telling her not to exert herself, but give her fingers gentle massages and bends to regain the strength.

She braved a freezing shower that made her squeak in surprise and washed her hair with the tiniest amount of soap she'd found around the stall before dressing in black cargos and a dark grey tee. She'd managed to tie up her hair in a high ponytail that sat between her shoulder blades.
Catching her reflection in the cracked mirror, Ivy sighed as she ran her fingers over the scar that ran from her bottom lip to her jaw, glaring at the dusky pink line with silver hue running through it.
Hopefully, as it continued to heal, the colors would lighten and not be as obvious.

"Could be a helluva lot worse, pup" Jacob's deep voice came from the doorway.
"Yeah, I know. Just... Checking it out" Ivy smiled, feeling guilty for stressing over a scar with Jacob present, who'd clearly suffered greatly during his time in active service.
"Joseph wants to talk to you" Jacob said, holding out a radio.
Ivy's heartbeat suddenly skipped and she swallowed hard.
Is it time?
She reached a shaky hand and took the radio, bringing it to her lips and holding down the receiver.

"Hello, Joseph," she said softly, noticing the slight waver in her voice.

"Ivy..." his warm drawl came through. "I trust you're feeling better? I've spoken to Dr. Cole who confirms that you are healthy enough to return to the Valley for your baptism and Atonement with John. Are you ready?" he asked, his signature preacher voice booming through the radio, full of confidence and strength.

Ivy stared at the radio, registering his words. The last time she and John had been together, it had been lovely, after his little tantrum of course. They had laughed together and she'd held him after he'd shared some painful memories. Would this time be okay, or at least, bearable? She pictured him, relishing in the fear of the man's eyes that he'd been tormenting back at the ranch. Would he similarly look at her? Would he enjoy inflicting pain on her?

"Pup..." Jacob's voice broke through her panicked brain and she looked up at him, eyes wide as he approached. "Just tell the truth" he said with a nod toward the radio.

Taking a deep breath, Ivy decided to follow Jacob's instruction.
"I'm okay, Joseph... I just... I don't know if I'm ready to... Atone yet, can I have a few more days?"

She heard a sigh in return before he spoke.

"Ivy, I understand your hesitance, I have told you that I will be there with you, that John will not cut you and you may Atone at the ranch. Time is unfortunately not on our side. You will not be judged, your confessions will be forgiven. You must trust in us, trust in me.

Would he forgive what I did?

"Okay, I... I'm ready" she said shakily into the radio.

"Wonderful, child." She heard the smile as he spoke. "I will collect you tomorrow afternoon after my sermon, which you are not to attend this time so may prepare for the day. I'm looking forward to seeing you, Ivy, and I will help you in any way you need" he reassured, his voice calm and warm.

Breathing through her nose, she handed the radio back to Jacob and decided to have a cigarette, frowning her when she remembered she had smoked her last one the day prior. Jacob was still standing in the doorway, watching her.