Secrets of Love

Forgive & Forget?

"That was irresponsible, Camille. Why weren't you keeping an eye on her? Is this why you both have been avoiding me?" He asked shaking his head in disappointment.

"It was an accident. Accidents happen." I explained for the millionth time.

"She could've died. Right now you're playing the victim. You can't blame Brandon for being angry about this. You agreed they you guys wouldn't keep nuts in the house right?"

"Yes, but I didn't know she was coming back so soon and I forgot. I didn't think she was going for those apples." I rubbed my temples because the whole situation gave me a headache.

"You're playing victim and I'm not about to participate in this pity party you're trying to have. You messed up."

"Daddy, I didn't do it on purpose." I cried. "I love that little girl and I don't know what I would do if something happened to her. It's been five days and he won't talk to me. The only way he'll let me in the house is if they aren't there."

"What else is going on? What are you not telling me?" He gave me a look that told me I better tell the truth.

"He-I-" I let out a deep breath because I knew what was coming. "I've been seeing someone." I said low.

"You what? You have to speak up." I was sure he heard me, but wanted me to say it again.

"I've been seeing someone."

"And you got caught. Cam, what's going on with you?"

"I wish people would stop asking me that. I'm doing me. Everyone else does what they want, but the minute I step away from ordinary Cam people act like Jesus cracked the sky. He did it to me too. All of the sh-stuff I put up with from him." I shook my head.

"You chose to stay. Whatever it was you decided that you were going to forgive him and work on your marriage. Forgiveness doesn't mean bury it until you do dirt and then dig it up as justification as to why you did what you did."

"I did forgive him," I yelled. "But somewhere in my mind I'm always reminded of what he did. I just wanted him to feel what I felt. Peyton wasn't supposed to get hurt. We've both already felt that pain before."

"You couldn't have forgiven him. Look, at what you're doing. If you can't truly forgive him or Jayson is who you want then you need to walk away. Remember the grass ain't always greener on the other side, Cam." He shook his head and sighed.

"I don't know what to do, daddy. It's been almost a month and he won't talk to me. He won't even leave Pey in the same room with me by herself." I went to sit by him putting my head on his shoulder.

"Baby girl this isn't one of those things where I can tell you what to do. At the end of the day you have to live with the results of what you decide to do." He rubbed my shoulder and kissed the top of my head.

"Why is my life always a mess? Everyone hates me now. No one will talk to me. I don't know how many times I have to tell them that it was an accident. Every time I think I'm getting ahead I get knocked back ten steps. I-"

"Stop. We aren't doing a pity party. You made decisions and these are the consequences. The fact is Peyton got hurt. It's not that it was an accident I think they're more so upset about the actions that lead to the accident. I'm not going to coddle you and tell you what you want to hear. You messed up. You need to talk to your husband."

I left my father's house and ended up in a place that I hadn't taken seriously in months: church. I had tried everything, but God. I knew I had gotten myself into that mess and I felt that I had no business asking God especially since I had turned back to Him. What I had to realize was that God was in the same place he had always been, I was the one who moved.