They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
Ms Hope Jenkins.
Remus choked on his fag, then dropped it, burning a hole in his trousers. Yelping with pain, he leapt up, patting wildly at the hot patch on his thigh.
“Remus!” Lily stared at him, alarmed, “Are you ok?!”
“Yeah, yeah…” He picked up the cigarette and tossed it out of the window. He’d scrunched up the little envelope in his other hand. He stuffed the crumpled paper into his pocket. “Just… nipping to the loo.”
He hurried into the little bathroom and slammed the door shut, trying to regulate his breathing a bit. Ok. Ok. He ought to have expected this. He was the one who’d written to her , after all.
Remus pulled the letter out of his pocket and smoothed it out. He couldn’t have opened it in front of Lily and James; it might say anything, and he was so unprepared. He bit his lip. He wanted another cigarette, badly, but he’d just chucked the last one out of the window. Typical.
He peeled open the envelope slowly, taking care not to tear it, as if that might mean something. The paper was tissue-thin, and he unfolded it gently. The handwriting was more recogniseable now. He knew it from the original letter, written all those years ago, except now it was more spindly; noticeably crooked, as though the hand had been shaking.
Dear Remus,
I am sorry it has taken me so long to reply to you. I am afraid I have been unwell, and I have not been at home to receive post.
I was so happy to hear from you. I am sorry I cannot write more, my darling, but I would love to hear how you are getting on. Please write again, to the address below.
Love Mum.
Remus’s own hands were shaking now. ‘ Love Mum .’ What the fuck did that mean?!
He felt rage creeping up on him, ready to swallow him whole. The spat with Sirius faded into insignificance; now he was truly furious. It was an anger that had lain dormant for a long time now, but it had always been there, in the core of him. An anger that had no direction, no purpose other than filling him up with red hot mania. Maybe Greyback had put it there. Maybe Hope’s abandonment had. Right now he didn’t give a shit.
Unable to control himself, he kicked the bathroom door. He kicked it so hard that he splintered the wood, cracking it right through.
“Fuck.” He muttered. “Ow.” He hoped he hadn’t broken a toe.
“Oh my god, Remus?!” Lily’s voice sang out again.
“Sorry.” He said, almost on instinct, as he wrenched his foot free from the door. He unlocked it.
