I would say I'm sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I have said too much
Been too unkind
I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
Because boys don't cry
Boys don't cry
They stayed in the room above the pub for two more nights. Marlene came back on the first evening, as good as her word, and brought a potion for Remus’s chest infection. She prescribed rest, but the next day Remus was going mad from being cooped up, so he and Sirius caught the bus to the beach.
It was too cool for swimming, being April, so they just walked. It was very quiet out of the tourist season, so it was ok to hold hands, too, for a little bit.
Remus closed his eyes and breathed in the sea air, smiling. The sky was grey, threatening rain, but wind was fresh on his face, and he felt better.
“When we get home,” Sirius said brightly, “We’ll go to Ollivander’s to get you a new wand.”
“Great.” Remus nodded. He hadn’t done any magic since he’d been back. Didn’t trust himself.
“That’s if Mary’ll hold off on your welcome home party,” Sirius chuckled, “She was going bonkers worrying. I think she must still have a thing for you.”
“Ha.” Remus replied.
“And Lily, obviously. She really wants to tell you something, but she said to wait until we’re all in the same room.”
“Mm.”
“Can’t wait for everything to be back to normal. Back to being marauders, eh?”
“Yeah.”
“D’you remember what sort of wand Lyall had? Maybe you can get the same one again.”
“Nope.”
“Moony?”
“Mm?”
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah.”
Sirius was quiet after that, and Remus felt guilty. After his brusque de-briefing with Moody, Remus hadn’t been in a very talkative mood. He was too anxious to say very much - he didn’t know what Sirius might think of him. And on top of that, Remus was struggling more than he thought he would, being away from the pack. He was thrilled to be back with Sirius, of course. But at the same time, he felt he was missing something.
He didn’t want Sirius to worry, so he did his best to be normal.
“So nice to be outside.” He commented as they walked.
“Are you sure you’re Moony?!” Sirius teased, pretending to be affronted, “ My Moony hates going outside…”
“Well spend a week locked in a dungeon and tell me how you feel about fresh air.” Remus muttered.
Sirius stopped and looked at him, his mouth slightly open, expression hurt. “Sorry.” Remus said, guiltily. He took Sirius’s hand again. “I didn’t mean that.”
He’d been doing that a lot, since he got back. Snapping. The smallest thing might set him off, and Sirius was bearing the brunt.
“It’s ok.” Sirius replied, shakily. “I shouldn’t make fun of you. After everything.”
