I wanna be straight! I wanna be straight!
I’m sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late.
I wanna confirm. I wanna conform.
I wanna be snug and I wanna be safe and I wanna be warm.
I wanna be straight! I wanna be straight,
I wanna create a place of my own in the welfare state.
I’m gonna be good; I’m gonna be kind.
It might be a wrench but think of the stench I'm leaving behind...
I wanna be straight! I wanna be straight,
Come out of the cold and do what I'm told and don't deviate.
I wanna give, I wanna give, I wanna give my consent -
I'm learning to hate all the things that were great when I used to be... bent!
Friday 23rd November 1979
After all of the excitement of autumn, the beginning of winter felt remarkably unremarkable. Remus tried to be grateful for it; for once in his life things were quiet. He didn’t get kidnapped by werewolves; there were no parents’ funerals or brothers dying.
He tried to make himself useful to the order. Sometimes they wanted things researched - help identifying curses that the death eaters were using, or coming up with new spells that could be used against them. He occasionally worked with Alice on this, and got to know her fairly well. She was incredibly intelligent, one of the most skilled duellists Remus had ever met. He got very good at defensive charms, and spent a lot of time visiting various safehouses, setting up barriers and early warning systems.
Remus worked hard. He threw himself into it. He had a very strong desire to be involved, to strive for something good. Maybe he was growing up. Maybe he was just sick of having no control over his own life.
Marlene came over a few evenings a week after work. She and Remus would sit up at the kitchen table, and he would tell her as much as he could about being a werewolf - his sense of smell, his increased metabolism, and how he cared for himself during and after a full moon. He tried to be as honest as he could without getting anyone else in trouble, and she diligently took notes, asked questions and suggested improvements.
It was difficult for Remus, but also necessary. Marlene’s earnest nature and fierce determination to improve living standards for werewolves made him feel a bit better - like he might be doing some good after all.
“We need to get the ministry away from this idea that cells and bars are the only remedy,” she would say, “From what you’ve told me, woodland is far better for the health of the subject - and we’re hardly short of woodland, are we? A few protective barrier spells would do it… all we need is some creative thinking, some compassion …”
Remus smiled at her. Marlene made him feel like there really would be change one day. And it was nice to spend time with a friend - Sirius was so often out in the evenings on missions or at meetings.
“How are you finding it, living with Sirius?” Marlene asked one evening as she was packing up. She looked around at the dark empty flat, “Quieter than my house.”
Marlene was still living with her mother and step-dad, and Danny ever since he’d been bitten. More recently, Yaz had moved in too. Remus didn't know all the details, but it sounded as though Yaz’s parents hadn’t been thrilled when they found out about Marlene.
“It's fine,” Remus nodded, helping her collect together her notes. “Different from school, obviously.”
“Bet it's nice having your own space.”
