One single thread of gold (tied me to you.)

chapter 1: get me with those green eyes ...

"So, uh, what's up?" Stefan asked. Initiating the conversation. 

"Honestly, Stefan, I just wanted to thank you." Elena started. "For sticking by me when, I was at my worst. For believing that... I was still in there." 

Of course. Of course she was thanking him. Elena Gilbert. Always grateful for the people around her. Always wanting to appreciate them. It was something he truly admired about her.

"Even after everything I put you through you... you never gave up on me." Elena continued. And she wouldn't be Elena if she didn't feel the sheer guilt of her actions. 

"I, uh, I kinda owed you one." He gives a slight chuckle at the end. As well as a smile.

Something he hasn't genuinely done in a while. 

( She always somehow managed to make him smile. Give him comfort, radiate happiness. )

He was also referring back to when they were on opposite sides of the scale. When he was off the rails and she refused to give up on him.

She smiles back. Appreciating the sentiment. Acknowledging that he was trying to tell her that he was eternally grateful that she managed to pull him out from the deep end. For having the will & power to do so. They both revel in the moment. For, y'know, about two seconds...and Elena somehow manages to pull herself out of the daze of his beautiful forest green eyes.

Be quick, Elena.

She silently scolded herself. She had changed... after becoming a vampire. It changed who she was. Or maybe that was something she was trying convince herself of? Because how confusing it had gotten with the sire-bond, her feelings, turning and then Stefan was hiding things from her? Maybe it wasn't her. Maybe it was just what she wanted to tell herself it was. But she couldn't dwell on this. Not right now. Not when she had made her decision.

Of course. Of course, she loved Damon. He was everything she needed him to be, and more, when she had newly turned. And Stefan and her were just a string that was coming apart. The longer it was stretched the more likely it was to break but...

Somehow he always managed to tie himself back to her.

"Here." She quickly, neutrally, hands him the cure. Acting like her mind isn't going a thousand thoughts per second. He hesitantly — not exactly understanding what she was doing — takes it from her hand. "It's yours. I want you to have it." She says, looking down at their hands. 

He opens his closed fist to find... the cure.

 What? 

"No, Elena. I'm not-" He attempts to talk but she cuts him off. 

"Stefan. The only person worse at being a vampire than me. Is you." She tries to persuade him. He silently looks at her for a second. Before dropping his gaze away from her eyes. 

"Human blood is your downfall. You got the... raw end of the vampire deal." She mentions. Sadly. 

He really didn't deserve this. She thinks. She looks at him.

Really looking at him. He needs this. The cure. He deserves it. "The rest of us will be fine. We'll survive, I mean, you taught us." She goes on. Mentioning his loyalty to his friends, his goodness of heart and how he managed to save...pretty much all of them from a rough start at this life.

Stefan Salvatore. Always the hero.

"You deserve," she begins once again. "whatever you want out of life." She tells him. Because she needs him to know that he has been through so much. He deserves a new chance at life. He does. His hand is still in the same position it's been. Recovering from the mini-shock. She sees it and quickly takes his hand in hers. She wraps it closed. It's almost instinctive to hold his hand. Like, it's just what they do. That she will hold his hand when he needs it. When he needs her.

"You deserve this." It's almost a whisper. Stefan is still looking down. They stand there for a second, basking in each other's presence. It's like a silent whir of, "I'm here."

—

"—I love you, Damon." Elena almost cries. It takes Damon a second to process it. She...loves him. There she was trying to convince him that she really loved him and wanted him. It doesn't take Damon long to kiss her right on the lips. She is here. And so is he. And they want this.

Right? Elena has this fleeting, almost passing thought. She shouldn't even be thinking like this at all. Of course she wants this. Yeah, yeah, she ... does.

Meanwhile, Stefan is in the other room hearing (listening to) everything. Vampire hearing is a real bitch. God, he feels like crying, throwing up, dying and wishing the Earth would just open up and swallow him whole. All at the same time. There she was. The love of his goddamn life, desperately confessing her — it seems — eternal love to his brother. He wasn't mad at them. At her. How could he be?

(Okay, maybe, maybe, he was having the strongest urge he has had in a while to punch Damon right in his face but he knew that was just his rage speaking. His brother fell in love. How could he resent him for that? Sure, maybe, it didn't have to be his girlfriend, the love of his life and all but...

it's not like he could help it. ) Lexi comforts him. She knows he needs it but... God it still stung.

When Elena had handed him the cure, he was feeling all over the place about it. He truly loved her for being the kind, selfless and caring girl she always was but... was she oblivious or just pretending to be?

Yes, he had wanted a simple, normal and basic human life from before he ever even met Elena. It's been this ... this fantasy of his. And that's exactly what he'd told her. (Sure in his salty, hurt, sarcastic tone but it had gotten the message across. ) But now,

Now it just... it felt wrong for him to take it. Almost like he didn't want to? Not without her. He just couldn't. It didn't feel... right. As much as the relationship between them had been very rocky recently, he still needed her in his life. He still wanted to be there for her. Even if it meant he would have to remain platonic (with a capital 'P'. ) with her at all costs.

Even if he would have to watch his brother and Elena from the sidelines. While he (Damon) hugged her, flirted with her, told her 'i love you.' and have her say it back, while he kissed her and ... more. God, even thinking about 'more' set Stefan ablaze. But he would have to pretend he's okay with it. For all their sakes. Like he doesn't want to just rip his hands off of Elena. (Which he would never do, because that was not his her choice to make. But he just can't help his jealousy and his feelings. These stupid feelings. ) Like he doesn't want to hit a wall when they're around or act like he doesn't want to clench his jaw whenever the two are affectionate (which will probably, most likely, definitely happen. On more than one occasion. )

It will hurt. But maybe somehow, he will be okay. And that's something worth hoping. "Who knows, maybe Stefan and I will give it another shot?" Stefan suddenly remembered Elena's words in that moment. When her humanity was off.

He was somehow able to let out a chuckle at the memory. It really wasn't that deep but...

He doesn't know, it just crossed his mind for a transient moment. One of the more funny things about humanity off Elena was just how easy it was for her to speak her truth. It was clear to him she still had some sort of feelings left for him but... it could probably just be him clinging onto hope. Hope that didn't exist.

Whatever, it was still a hilarious thing to say to Damon to his face.

And hey, y'know what? Maybe they will.

A/N: lol, hey, guys! From some of you guys over on AO3, you might recognise this story as I originally posted it there, but I realised, many Stelena fans are also on Wattpad so why not give it a shot here? I'm really busy these days and barely managed to get this (already written) chapter in. (The book cover was the main time-consumer of the day, actually.)

Anywho, hope you enjoyed! Please comment and vote if you want <3 much love x

— M ❤️‍🩹