[SATIRE /srs] fujoshi's first term after summer !!1!1!1! *NOT CLICKBAIT*

chapter 4: omg some plot finally get fucked chelsea

authors note: hey guys I'm sorry this is so late I was hashtag busy anyway I hope y'all enjoy this really long chapter I took 4628747383 years to write

xoxo
zack

animes mentioned:
haikyuu
mha
aot
hxh
assassination classroom
mob psycho 100
jjba (esp battle tendency, with spoilers)
death note

[chelsea's POV]

Tuesday, 2nd September 20XX, week ⅛

i woke up 🆙 feeling refreshed and ready for the SECOND 2️⃣ DAY at MEIWAKU MEINU NIHON NO KOKUSAI JAPANESE INTERNATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL 🏫 (i even bought the school's official overpriced 💴💴 letterman jacket 🧥).

after cuddling 🫂 with dabi-sama for 30 minutes in bed 🛌, i started my usual morning routine and ritual of making a sacrificial offer to Bakugo on His shrine, this time with a dirty pantyliner 🖱💦💧 filled with my clear vaginal discharge 😍💧. i chanted and rubbed my offering all over Him, before kissing Him as usual. i rushed down 🏃🏻‍♀️ to where flora 🤱🏼 was. today's breakfast was scrambled tamago 😍🥚🍳, this time it was PROPERLY SERVED ON THE HAIKYUU LIMITED EDITION FINE CHINA HOSHIUMI PLATE 🍽😌😌

"OH FLO- I MEAN MOM THESE TAMAGOS SMELL OISHI 😍😋 THANKS SOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR COOKING THIS 🤤🤤🤤"

since she did everything right, even with the haikyuu limited edition fine china hoshiumi plate, i decided to call her mom instead of flora. FOR NOW 🤨.

"ITADAKIMASU 🤤😍 BONE APPLE TEA 🦴🍎🍵 OSTEOPOROSIS 🩻"

YUMMAYYYYY 😋😋😋 THESE SCRAMBLED TAMAGOS TASTE SO DAMN GOOD 🤤🤤🤤😩😩😩🍳🍳🍳. i ate an entire plate of those tamagos 🥚🥚. i didn't even have to add furikake for it to taste good.

they were so good, in fact, that i decided not to channel bakugo to test His quirk against mom today 😁. looks like she didn't have to bear the brunt of DYNAMIGHT'S 🧨💣 EXPLOSION 💥 QUIRK 🤪 today.

after eating i decided to take a shower 🛀 for the first time this week because today i wasn't running late after forming a battle sequence with His Majesty 💂🏻‍♀️🤴🏼 Katsuki Bakugo. i brushed my teeth with my Attack On Titan Titan Penis-shaped toothbrush 🪥 while admiring the bathroom-mirror-turned-Hisoka-picture. i changed from my Bakugo 18+ ASMR (MINORS DNI) piss 💦 kink 😫 - themed jamma mamas into my uber kawaii japanese school uniform 😍😍.

i waited outside the house for the not so uber kawaii piss coloured school bus 🙄🙄 like couldn't y'all have like nicer colours for school buses like semen white ⚪️⚪️⬜️⬜️. and as i was waiting, you would NAWT believe your eyes 👁👁.

CHLOWN WAS LITERALLY IN A CAR 🐶🚗 . SHE DROVE A LITERAL FUCKING LAMBORGHINI 😟😟😟 AND I BET IT WAS BOUGHT BY HER DADDY'S MONEY 👨🏼‍🍼💳💶💶💵💵 SUGAR OR BIOLOGICAL DOESNT MATTER 👨🏻‍🦳💦🍬. miss girl legiterally drove past me all slowly, SHOWING OFF ALL THE MONAYYY 💶💵💸 SHE HAS AND I DONT 🙄🙄.

then she FUCKING STOPPED ✋🏻🛑🚏 at MY NEIGHBOUR'S HOUSE. as it turns out, her little 3-D boyfie, big tall 🧍🏻‍♂️💪🏻 alpha 🅰️ male 😈🐺 track 🏃‍♂️ jock 🏋🏻‍♂️ AIDRIAN 🙄 lives RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

actually i don't really care 🤷🏻‍♀️ about the fact that a popular boy in school 🏫 lives right next to me, or the fact that she's dating him 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 (i only care about my 2-D boys, and maybe the occasional 3-D one when i don't want him to be gay 🤤🤤🤤🥵🥵🥵😳😳😳 like in a hot yaoi 🥵), but it's the way she OBVIOUSLY TRIES TO FLEX 💪🏻 HER STUPID LITTLE BOYFIE 💁🏻‍♂️ to me. she really went to smooch 😘😘 her aidrikins and proceed to make out with him, and she made sure that i was watching 👁👁 the WHOLE TIME. like girl i DO NOT CARE 🙄🙄.