[SATIRE /srs] fujoshi's first term after summer !!1!1!1! *NOT CLICKBAIT*

chapter 3: get fucking fucked chelsea

author's note: I don't know whether it's obvious but this trollfic is actually aimed at a few fujoshis I know personally at school. fujoshis, if y'all are reading this, you fucking suck 🫶🏻. anyway, animes mentioned:
MHA
Death Note
Toilet-bound hanako-kun
Haikyuu
Kiss him not me
Naruto
CW for Andrew Tate mention and general misogyny in Barry's pov, otherwise fine, enjoy - xoxo zack

//

[chelsea's POV]

after all the bitches and preps and guys all hot and guys all ugly came in, this real old dude 👨🏻‍🦳 came into the classroom. he was really tall, like 6 feet tall (i'm 5'4" by the way, totally average height for the average yaoi fangirl 🧍‍♀️), and he was a really big guy. like i'm talking 250 pounds of muscle kind of guy 💪🏻💪🏻. i would've thought he was the NUMBER ONE PRO HERO 🥇1️⃣ ENDEAVOR if only he had flaming red hair and flames billowing around him. he should really go to an ANIME 💅 COSPLAY 👯 CONVENTION dressed up as Endeavor, then i'd totally suck his dingdong 🍆.

anyway, class started.

"Hello class, I'm your new homeroom teacher, Mr Manjaro-Park. So, for starters, I'm gonna get each of you to introduce yourselves with two fun facts about you as icebreakers. Okay? Who wants to go first?"

his voice was deep and gruff, but that reminds me of the bara anime i watched the other night 😍😍 i remember it being so fugging hawt 🥵 that i actually came 💦 while watching it 🤤🤤. oh my bakugo. he looked like the male lead 🧔🏼‍ who was giving the bottom some nice ass head 🥵🥵😳😳.

wait, WAS THAT A KOREAN SURNAME ???!!?!!!111!11!!!1!1 I GOTTA GET HIS ATTENTION BY BEING THE FIRST GIRL TO INTRODUCE MYSELF 🫣🤭

"Yes, you!"

OH MY BAKUGO 😳😳 HE LOOKED IN MY DIRECTION AND POINTED AT ME!1!!11!!11!11!!!!1

"i'm serinuma kae, but y'all can just call me kae uwu 🥺👉🏻👈🏻. a fun fact about me is that i LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE ANIME AND KDRAMAS 😍😍😳😳  especially our lord and saviour Katsuki Bakugo from MHA, and ANOTHER FUN FACT is that i cAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY GAY BOYS 👨‍❤️‍👨👨‍❤️‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 nyaaaaaa~ they're so KAWAII DESU~" i introduced myself to the whole class. now the fujoshis of class 12C are SO going to join my yaoi fanclub 😳😳🫣🫣🤩🤩. OmO i forgot to mention i LOVE kdrama TOO

but instead, mr park looked at me all weird, like if you saw a weirdo out in public and you can't help but stare. like whenever i see a girl who doesn't like yaoi out in public 🤢🤢👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩❌ i still can't believe the audacity of them, who were they, ebony and blondie. UGH 🙄

i went on to ask him a question about himself 😋😋 he's such a hottie, i would LOVEEEE to learn more about him 🤤🤤

"mr park, are you korean by any chance ??! 😳😳"

"...yes, I am half korean, from my mom's side. Also, call me Mr Manjaro-Park, not just Mr Park. Let me go check your name off the attendance list."

as mr park went to check the list, i continued all dreamily 😫😩 "oh!!!!!1!111! I IDENTIFY AS JAPANESE KOREAN!!!!11!111! my mom said i'm actually lying and that i'm american, but she doesn't know how i truly feel 😡😡😡"

mr park looked at the list, then looked at me all disgusted and shocked now. it was kind of like when i looked at ebony and blondie all disgusted and shocked and pissed 🤮🤮.

"Um... the name Serinuma Kae isn't here. Since I don't know your name, I'm just gonna read out all your names and have y'all raise your hands when your name is called."