My saviour ( Kaworu Nagisa X Shinji Ikari)

Trial and error

Kaworu's Pov

Yesterday shinji was very upset, all along i had been trying to save him from his own demons, but i made it being my mission too clear to him. He probably thinks im doing this out of pity, but i could never do that to shinji. I really care for him and i want to figure things out, Shinji is going to be mine and i wont accept denial.

I roll around in my bed, hugging the pillow that shinji's head once rested on. I want to see him right now, but he probably doesn't even want to talk to me. I have no plans today, none at all as i only wish my plans involved him. But for now they dont, so theres no point in doing anything today. My insides hurt so badly, did things really have to take that dramatic turn? I crave shinji's presence, I need to see him again and hopefully i can explain my feelings to him.

I finally leave my bed, pulling out a random shirt and joggers from my drawers. The handles were barely on right, and the surface is covered in all sorts of grime. Ive never had much motivation to clean or continue at all in life, up until i met shinji ikari. He was my true saviour, and i hope to become his soon, spending my time with him just makes every little moment in life worth living, i feel like i finally have purpose now i have him in my life, and i never want to leave his side. "I want to be with you Ikari."

I leave my flat jumping down the stairs, earning a pang of pain in my ankles from the small drop. I begin limping out into the streets, no idea where my destination was but i knew i had to get out of my room. I follow the path me and shinji previously walked to find the cafe , it almost feels like im reliving that day, i wish i really way. As im walking down the street i notice a little gift shop, i eagerly enter it. I think im gonna buy shinji something special, and hopefully he will accept it as an apology, AS WELL as a real worded apology. I browse the aisle that had rows and rows of plushies perfectly lined up next to each other, as im walking past them all a little black penguin plush catches my eye, it had glossy brown eyes and a little red bow hung around its neck. I take the plushie from the shelf, carefully inspecting it to make sure it was perfect, and so it was. I took the penguin to the till and pulled out all my saving from my pocket.

I continue my journey off into the streets, usually at this time it would be busy. But due to the city practically being empty from all that's gone on, nobody even lives here anymore. The streets feel so desolate, there would be little school kids in their sweet little uniforms skipping to school, street vendors pressuring you into buying an overpriced tub of chicken, all the different coloured cars on their way to work at this time. Life just didn't feel the same without the mass citizens. The days go by quick, its almost like there's no time to live. I hope someday to escape this depressing place with shinji by my side, we would live somewhere, anywhere but this.

Shinji's pov

I turn over to look at my clock, seeing its already noon, i still haven't forgotten what happened yesterday. I sit up resting my back against the wall, noticing my pillow is covered with sparse puddles, I must have been crying in my sleep, i tend to do that so it sounds about right to me. I force myself into the kitchen taking out a microwavable meal from the fridge, if i dont fix my mood ill become even more of a slob than miss misato. "please anything but that." i say out loud to myself. The whole flat feels empty, Asuka and Misato are most likely to be elsewhere or still asleep, It wouldnt surprise me.

I finish up my microwaved chicken korma and rice, which was actually quite nice despite it being cheap microwavable food. I discard my leftovers in the overloaded bin before heading over to the bathroom for a shower since i smell like shit, as well as feel like it. I scroll through my messages just before hopping into the shower, seeing that Misato had left me a message letting me know to take out the rubbish since she was at work and forgot, as im scrolling through my contacts i recieve a message from him "Meet me at the gym, 3pm" Eh? why the gym? mabye he wants to work out or mabye work things out, i really do hope so. Or mabye hes planning to dismember my body parts and dispose of them in a yoga mat before lobbing me into the nearby lake as revenge for how i treated him the other day... probably not.

But id happily go along with it as long as it was kaworu.