on deck; a. judge

9.

I feel horrible. I don't want to leave Garrett, but Aaron has never texted me before wanting me home like this. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew I had to be home with him.

"I have to get going, Aaron says he needs me home, and this is really unlike him.." I tell him, getting up to put my shoes on.

"Yeah, I can give you a ride home, babe. We'll have to take a raincheck for this, though." He says as I just nod and show no emotion towards what he had said.

I get home and don't even kiss Garrett before getting out of the car and going into the duplex. Aaron had texted me a couple of times, I decided not to answer since I was basically walking into our place as I got the messages.

I looked around, noticing the upstairs was open and the door to the balcony was open. I walked out there and looked at him, "Hey.."

Aaron flicked his head towards me. "Didn't think you'd leave your boy toy's house to come be with me."

"Your text sounded pretty concerning.." I tell him, sitting across from him. "What happened?"

Aaron sighed, shaking his head. "I had a girl over. Not in the way you think, though. I have been talking to her for a little bit and wanted to bring her here for dinner and whatnot. So we did, but then when I just wanted to chill, she got all offended. I guess she thought since I brought her to my place it meant I wanted to fuck?" He shakes his head again. "She came onto me a little too strong and I told her I wasn't feeling it."

He laughed to himself. "She started blasting me, saying I was a piece of shit and only wanted to get in girls' pants because I was Aaron Judge and I have money so I can manipulate girls into thinking I like them for them."

I notice he stops, looking down at his feet. I didn't really know how to take this all in, he'd never talked like this before.

"Kind of stung, y'know? I bring girls home a lot, but I thought I would try and step out there and try working towards relationships again? My last relationship was a shitshow and a half, and it just spent me into a spiral where I just wanted to sleep with girls and forget like they existed after I came." He shrugged, taking a sip from the glass of water he was drinking.

It definitely was a weird feeling and weird to see Aaron being this vulnerable. He was really hurt, he obviously knows what it's like to be in love, but why does he prefer to sleep around? So many questions ran through my head, but I didn't want to ask him. It wouldn't be right.

"I don't talk about this much. Not even with my closest friends, but I dated a girl about a year ago named Laci. She was the absolute love of my life for nearly four years. We had so much planned, I really thought I was going to marry her, Mads." He tells me, looking up at me. "We were so in love, and she was there for me through everything,"

"I got exposed to the party scene here in New York. The excessive partying got the best of me and I was a complete dick to Laci. But somehow, she still stuck by me. I don't know why? or how? But, she still loved me. It took everything in me to fight for that relationship, but then I fucked up.."

I put my hand on Aaron's arm. "What happened? If you don't mind saying.."

"I ended up getting shitfaced and cheated on her. With a girl we both actually knew, which made it even shittier. I felt like shit the morning after and when I told Laci, I knew I was fucked. It crushed me to tell her, because I knew I had just broke her heart." He sighed. "She packed all her shit and left that same day. I think her leaving me made me realize I was incapable of loving girls. So, I resorted to alcohol and sleeping with multiple girls. I didn't care if I would remember their names or not, I was just trying to get over the heartbreak."

I frown, noticing tears falling from his eyes. I wipe under his eyes, rubbing his arm. "I'm so sorry to hear that.." I shake my head. "It's not worth getting worked up over. That girl you had over was obviously a bitch and not the right one to hang out with. I'm sure if people knew the full story, they wouldn't hop on you and judge you. I'm here for you whenever you need to rant like you did tonight. It's in the past now, and we can only work on bettering ourselves."

I stand up, holding my hands out to him as I walk back inside. I walk to my bedroom, still holding his hands and allow him to lay in bed with me. His head rests on my chest as I just draw circles on his back with my fingertips, hearing him sniffle occasionally.

It hit me why he slept with all these random girls. He didn't want to fall in love with them, he was scared of falling in love. He was scared of hurting himself, hurting the girl.

I bring his hand to my lips, kissing it gently. I quite honestly didn't believe Aaron was capable of showing emotion like this. It made me appreciate our living situation a little more knowing he was comfortable enough to open up to me when he needed someone to talk to. It was really something different compared to what I felt with Garrett.

That's what scared me.