right where you left me

chapter 9 - dazed

"max you know what i said about being in my bedroom! get the fuck out you bitch!" he slammed the door, making a painting in a frame fall off the wall. the glass shattered on the pale wood floor as i jumped from the noise. i tiptoed around it being careful not to step on the broken glass. crying, i swept up the shards. until he turned the doorknob and emerged from his lair once again.

"now look what you've done" he spoke maniacally, stomping towards me like the devil waltzing towards his victim. "oh maxine, when will you ever learn?"

i jolted up in my bed, dazed and terrified. it was just a dream. just a dream. suddenly an overwhelming feeling of guilt rush over me. i started to bite my nails because of the feeling.

"i need to get out of here" i spoke, the feeling getting stronger and stronger. i shook my head trying to get it out and away from me but it didn't help. 'no shit it didn't help' i thought to myself. "fuck!" i exclaimed, an overwhelming amount of pain shot through my head. it felt like someone had thrown a spear through my brain. i quickly changed out of my pyjamas and into a more socially acceptable outfit and grabbed my bag to go with it. i sped to the kitchen and searched for the tylenol, pulling it out and popping the cap once i found it. i collected water with just the palm of my hand and swallowed the pills down with it as i rushed out the door. the rays of the sun made my head hurt more. i felt terrible. guilty with no explanation, massive migraine and i was still thinking about the nightmare i had. it was more so a memory in the form of a dream. i quickly walked over to a more shady part of the trailer park to get out of the sun.

"lucas?" i pulled out my walkie "i need you. can you come to oaky?" ...

"i think this is my favourite tree in hawkins" he said, his voice sounding quiet in the rough winds.

"i think so too. it's pretty" i picked at the bark.

"very pretty" he spoke louder this time and stared deep into my eyes as he spoke. a smile grew across his face and he stood up from the ground. he held his hand out to me and i took it, unsure of what he was going to do next.

"lucas!!" i giggled as he lead my hand to wrap around his neck. he moved his hands to my waist and i knew what was going to happen next. i remember it all too well. he started to move with me to the invisible music.

"you know, i think i'll name him oaky" he looked up to the tree.

"he? no no no, oaky's definitely a she" i protested. his eyebrows furrowed.

"what? no! oaky's a he" he wrapped his arms tighter around my waist, forcing me to move closer to him but i didn't mind.

"nuh uh, she's definitely a she" i smiled, our teasing dying down as he smiled back.

"whatever you say red" he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine...

the crackling static launched me out of my memories. "max? yeah sure i'll be there soon"

"thanks" i sat down my walkie and my bag under the tree.

lucas. billy.

they were the only two people in my head. i know what billy would have wanted. but i can't do that. i don't want to do that.

"ow" i clutched my hand to my chest as another overwhelming feeling of guilt ran through me. the guilty feeling finally started to make sense. i've been betraying what billy wanted. he hated lucas. it all became clear in my head. fuck. i'm going to have to-

"max! hey" the dry leaves crunched under his quick feet.

"lucas, that was fast. thanks for coming" i looked up into his eyes. fuck. this is going to be so difficult. i can barely imagine doing it let alone actually do it. i don't know if i can break his heart again. i don't know if i can break my own heart again.

"anything for you" he smiled, moving in closer to me. one of his arms wrapped around my waist while his other hand landed on my cheek. he pulled me in to kiss him and i was too far in to back out now. i didn't want to back out either. it would be our last kiss.

"actually we need to talk"...

a/n
oh damn. oh no. i'm sorry team. i'm so sorry. pls forgive me for this ❤️
ily guys
juju