right where you left me

chapter 10 - all too well

TW: mentions of blood.

"no max please-"

"lucas i just can't do it. i can't" my eyes filled up with tears and my entire body felt like it was on fire. my heart was wrecked seeing lucas so upset. i wiped away the fallen tears with the sleeve of my hoodie, leaving marks all over the cuff.

"max i know you love me. i love you too. why can't we just be together? i was the only one that tried when you left. everybody moved on except for me. i stayed there. for you." he reached forwards for my hands and he held them tightly in his. i knew if he was given the chance, he wouldn't let go. he would let our skin bond together for eternity.

"because i'm not good for you! we just don't work" lie. "i can't keep doing it" more tears streamed down my face. i couldn't tell him the truth. i know he would find someway to stop me from making this decision and i can't deal with that. i need him to leave me. this is billy's wishes.

"max.." the pause between his words hurt harder then the words themself. he paused as if him saying my name would make me rethink everything. but instead i locked the tone of his voice up into a memory and stored it deep in my head to be kept forever. "i love you. so i will respect your wishes" no. "so i will stay there for you until... until dust starts to collect on my head... metaphorically of course. i promise" no! don't say that lucas. stop being nice.

"okay" he slowly let go of my hand. i couldn't look at him so my eyes were wandering around looking at the trees and flora surrounding us. he picked up his bike and looked back at me.

"i'll see you at school mayfield" and with that, the love of my life was out of my sight. more tears started to run down my cheeks. this wouldn't be the end of us, i know it wouldn't be. but it had to be for now...

Monday 17th of March 1986

*beep beep*

"MAX!!! you are going to be late for the bus! it is the last couple days of school!"

"okay okay! coming!" i rolled on my side slamming my hand down to stop the terribly annoying beeping coming from my clock. "fuck" i looked down to my pillow case and remembered back the events of the night. came home, cried, had dinner, cried until i fell asleep. i looked around my plain old room to see the mess of clothes on the floor and a couple cups on my bedside table. i'll find an outfit somewhere.

"max are you ready to leave? i have to drop you off at the bus stop very soon!" i had put on a navy blue shirt with rainbow stripes on it and just a pair of my old jeans.

"yes mom i'm coming now" i grabbed my calculator on the way out as i remembered i have a maths test today.

"lets go lets go lets go!!!" mom ushered me out the door and into her rusted hatchback. she drove me to the bus stop and i waited there until the smelly old bus came. of course i had to drown out the noise of the idiots with my walkman when i actually got on the bus. once i got to school, it was a pretty easy route to my locker then to my first class. i say easy because there's less of a chance of lucas seeing me at that end of the school. his locker is on the other end. i reach my locker and put my bag away to free up my hands to grab my books.

"are you ready for the-"

"JESUS MIKE!" standing behind me was none other but the idiot michael wheeler. i tend to get frightened easily, especially after what happened last summer.

"sorry i didn't mean to scare you" he is not afraid to show judgemental looks which he was clearly showing right now.

"it's fine. what were you saying?" i breathe through the mini heart palpitations i just experienced.

"are you ready for the test? you know, pythagoras and all that shit" he rolled his eyes. mike's always been fairly good at maths so he finds simple things like pythagoras extremely easy. so do i. we've been fighting for the top spot in the class. well second best, dustin is always first.

"yeah, i don't really need to study. i could do this test in my sleep" i tease. the bell rings for us to go to class and mike and i quickly walk over to our classroom. we sit in our seats and i give him a devilish glance before scribbling my name at the top of the page.

i was right. this test was fucking boring. find the length of PQ if MN and OP are opposites or some shit. then it's some shit about altitudes and fuck!

i squeeze my eyes shut at the pain that just ran through my head. it felt like the same pain from yesterday only worse. i reopen my eyes to witness something drop from my face. it's blood. i bring my knuckle up to my face to wipe my nose and surely enough, there's blood smeared on my finger. what the fuck is going on?

a/n
oh. OH!!!
i hope that's what your reaction to this chapter is. anyways this was fun to write teehee. i have something to base my story off now so hopefully it'll be running smoothly from now on.
love yall!!
juj xo
PS, i had to do a little tay swift reference for the title 🥰