What Happens Next?

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I woke to the sound of monitors beeping. I tried to open my eyes but they wouldn’t budge. My eyelids felt so heavy. I was awake, but not really... My mind drifted back to the dream i just had. Wow. I tried to lift my hands up to feel my lips where his had just been but I couldn’t move anything. What the hell? I heard distant voices. I tried to move again. Nothing. The voices were getting closer.

“...she was given activated charcoal to absorb the drug and her stomach was pumped, but she seems to be stable. The drugs are wearing off meaning she should wake up any moment now.”

“Oh thank God!”

My fingers twitched as I tried moving my arms. Why was this taking so much effort? I still couldn’t open my eyes.   

“So what happens next?”

“Well Mr. and Mrs. Martin, this might be a little difficult to hear. Unfortunately because your daughter did try to commit suicide, she will be admitted to the hospital on a 72 hour hold for a mental health evaluation. Given the nature of the note she left behind I’m almost certain that in addition she will need to be checked into a psychiatric hospital for at least 9 weeks.”

“Oh God! How could this happen?” My mother was crying as my father tried to comfort her.

Without having opened my eyes I knew four things: I didn’t die, I had secret feelings for Mr. Ego, I was now in a hospital, and finally there was no way in Hell I was going to a psychiatric hospital. The lady who I presumed to be the doctor said a few more things to my parents and left the room.

I tried to open my eyes again. Success. You know that white light people say you sometimes see before you die? I’m pretty sure it’s just the hospital lights. Jeez they were bright. I looked around the room and my eyes landed on my parents by the door. They didn’t look so good. At the sight of them I was feeling something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Guilt maybe?

I took in my surroundings. I was laying on a bed in the middle of what was clearly  a hospital room. The walls were white and there was a TV on one side and in one corner were two chairs. In the other corner I noticed a table full of flowers and get well soon balloons and cards. Oh gosh. I mentally groaned. This is not what was supposed to happen. I must have groaned out loud because they turned to look at me at that moment and they didn’t miss the fact that I was awake.

“She’s awake honey! Call the doctor!” My mom said to my dad rushing over to me. My dad was gone for all of two seconds before he was right next to my mom. I could tell she was holding back tears;They both were. This was all my doing? Crap.

Apparently I had been in and out of consciousness for the past two days since the incident. I tried to explain to my parents what happened and why I did what I did but I don’t think it helped my situation any. They just looked at me as if I was crazy. My mom cried even more. I guess they didn’t understand. In fact no one did.

The next few minutes consisted of more crying as my parents asked me repeatedly if I was okay, and why I did this, what was I thinking, and so on. The doctor explained to me in detail what I just recently overheard about the mental health test and the psychiatric hospital. There’s nothing wrong with me! I screamed internally. Yea right.

~

Later that day Amy came to see me.

My parents went home already. They’d already been here the past two days and had to get back to work. They said they would come back to visit me later on tonight.  It was official that I had to be kept in the hospital for 2 more days before I was released to the psychiatric hospital where I would be staying for 9 weeks. Fun.

If you haven’t guessed by now I failed the mental health test. Everything was going well until the examiner brought up the suicide note that I wrote. I guess my reason of ‘being influenced by a movie to kill myself so I could find out what happened in the afterlife’ didn’t exactly help my case that nothing was wrong with me. Really? Who would have guessed.

“Knock knock,” Amy said appearing in the doorway.

She brought Aaron with her which made me think of a certain someone. She looked just as bad as my parents did. Aaron didn’t look so great either.

“Hey,” she said in almost a whisper.

“Hi,” I couldn’t meet her eyes for some reason.

“We brought flowers,” she said holding them up in her hand.

“Thanks guys, you didn’t have to do that. You can set them over there,” I said pointing to the table with the rest of the flowers on them.

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

Aaron kind of hovered behind her not sure of what to do or say. I didn’t blame him, it’s not like we were that close or anything and this was sort of an awkward situation.

“Not too bad, how are you doing?” I asked. I guess that was it for her because she broke down at that moment. What  was with the constant crying all around me. Jeez, I’m OKAY!  

“Not you too Am-”

“How could you do this Zoe? Why didn’t you talk to me? I mean I knew you were obsessed with learning about the afterlife and what happens next and all that stuff, but I didn’t think you would try to kill yourself? Oh Zoe why didn’t you talk to me?”

She was full out crying now and I only really was able to hear half of what she said.  Aaron patted her back trying to soothe her. What did she expect me to say? I’m sorry I brought everyone so much pain and everything, but I’m not sorry I did it.

“I’m sorry Amy,” I apologized, still not meeting her eyes.

“I’m sorry too Zoe. I can’t, I just can’t.” With that she ran out of the room. Aaron gave me a look of sympathy as he left too to after Amy. That went well.

I layed my head back on the pillow and groaned not so quietly out loud. What a long day. It just needed to be over with already. I don’t think I could take anymore crying or yelling. I just wanted to go back to sleep. I secretly hoped I would see Mr. Ego again. At least with him things were a little better..

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