Mismatched

the starting line

We just made it to the train.

After 1 1/2 hours of talking overly loud on a train, because thats how we were, loud. Our mother was deaf (or so she thinks she is). We arrived in bendigo and we meet up with my friend when i told her all about my boy situation. She had no advice, but it was okay, it felt good for someone to know. We watched a movie then pondered around the town for the rest of the day.

It wasn't until the late train ride home, that we ended up getting into a deep conversation about our family, sex, drugs, boys, girls, and practically every else personal. Even my brother, Anthony's cancer.

Anthony was diagnosed with cancer when he was 14 years old, he almost died from being sick three times, fell into depression twice and self diagnosed social anxiety once, but it stuck.

We arrived home at 10:14PM, with an argument with my stupid boy, friend, two separate words, and an oppressed brother. After being aimlessly in my room for a while when I decided to come out. My brother started talking to me about how you look at my body and don't expect me to be such a bitch, when he said "your personality doesn't fit your body shape" it stuck. "you're such a rude bitch, and a backstabber gossiper." The only weak response I could push through was "no I'm not" followed along with a whimper, a few minutes of silence, then a whispered "I actually am a bitch." In that moment I flashed through millions, upon millions of bitchy, backstabbing and rude moments.