My body sucks.
It's mine, and I hate it.
It's always been with me and thought the years of puberty, with the large and constant growth of my breasts nothing else really changed.
It's not like I suddenly gained weight, it's not like I changed. I've always been this way. I've always been me.
I'm not obese. I'm roughly 10kg heavier then everyone else in my glade.
Less then 2 months ago my weight was 69kg, which is the heaviest I've ever been.
I hated it.
I started working out and eating healthier and then a week later, is stepped on the scale to realise I'd lost a whole..
Nothing.
I was still 69kg (well, 68.26kg) so I'd lost half a kilogram and then I decided not to eat.
In those 2 days of not eating I lost 2kg, which was more then I'd lose with an entire week of working so hard to lose weight. So I didn't eat.
I now weight a total of 56kg, which is 11kg in a 2 month period, and once I realised that not only when I didn't eat, I was more tired and I slept easier, I'd realised that my constant bone ache and tiredness has been wearying out to not only sleep times.
Losing weight didn't make me feel better. I'm still me. I still have the same body and the scale didn't make any physical improvement, really and the same people still love me and the same people still hate me.
It didn't change the fact that my mother calls me fat, and it didn't change or rotate the 180 words that come out of people's mouths. Nothing will take back my mindset to those days and currently, at 56kg, I still cut as deep with those words and everything around me is still sad.
It never changed anything.
I'm still me.
YOU ARE READING
Mismatched
PoetryI'm depressed and my heads cluttered with so many words and thoughts, but i wouldn't simply know how to 'describe' this writing article. Simply, its just me writing out my thoughts and feeling whilst being in the mist of depression. **trigger warni...
