Our Ladies Tears

Rebirth

The pain felt unending. Every breath was like shards of glass scrapping my throat. My eyes ached as if a hammer was being thrown against the inside of my skull. I reached out and prayed for the first time in my life. "Please make it stop." For a brief moment it did. 

No pain, and no more aching. I felt light and warm, as if I was floating. It reminded me of a dreamless sleep. 

Like being thrown in front of a truck, the pain was back and the noises became so loud. The rain that hit the ground was like a shattering window. The rough hands the grabbed me felt like barbs ripping into my skin. A scream ripped itself through my body and again the dreamless sleep took me.

A small light made itself through the black void of sleep. Like a doorway in my mind, leading me somewhere.

I didn't seem to have a body but I moved towards the light, A memory.

"Mags, why a doctor?" The young girl swung her legs as she sat on the desk next to where I was working. "You hate people."

"Anna, do you really want to know?" I glanced at the psychology books and grinned. She nodded in anticipation. "Money."

"Wow you are going to be the worst doctor." She laughed and closed my laptop. I sighed and leaned back in the chair. I needed a break anyway.

"I also want to help people." I pushed her off the desk and she thumped on the floor.

"Help! I need a REAL doctor!" I bent down and tickled her sides.

"You terror child." I laughed and laid down next to her. We both looked up at the ceiling where we had placed glow in the dark stars years ago.

"I'm going to miss you when you go off to college." She turned to look at me.

"I'm going to miss you too." I pressed my forehead to hers.

The edges of my vision began to darken. I didn't want to leave Anna but I knew I couldn't stay.

"I love you little sis."

I was alone again in the darkness. I started figuring out that this darkness was death. A void that comforts you and causes despair. I felt myself losing to the despair. 

Soon another light appeared far off and I drifted towards it. Hoping it was just as sweet as the last light.

"This is ridiculous Mags." Evan flipped through the bridesmaids catalogue and gagged.

"This was not my idea." I brushed Evans hair and sprayed some product to make it stand still.

"Well she is your best friend and you have to take responsibility for her marrying our brother." Evan bent his head back and grinned. 

"I will do no such thing. I have no idea why she went crazy and started liking that insane bookworm. We may be friends but we do not share the same taste." I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Mags, are you okay?" Evan stood and looked down at me. I wiped the tear from my eye.

"I just wish mom was here." I looked up at Evan and gave a sad smile.

"Yeah me too." He turned and grinned at himself in the mirror. "She would always say I was the most handsome of the bunch."

"Oh shut it." I grabbed his tie and wrapped it around his neck practically choking him, and finished as the door bell rang. "Ready best man?"

"Ready maid of honor?"

I felt the memory ending and I let myself drift again. I saw Evan kiss my cheek and leave. The void was all there was again. I didn't understand what this meant, if it had meaning at all. Life had no meaning unless the people you love are apart of it.

I don't know how I knew the light I saw was the last one but it felt like the final stop on this drifting into nothingness journey. I hoped maybe I would be able to live in this last memory forever, as long as my family and friends were apart of it.

"SAY CHEESE!" The photographer said as wedding came to an end.

"Cheese!" Ben and Liza were hanging out the front window like how Anna and I hung out the back. Evan had jumped in the truck bed and was doing a crazy dance.

"Evan get the hell in the truck." Ben barked.

"Ben let him be. You can't control wild animals." Liza placed a soft hand on Bens arm, he visibly relaxed.

"Onwards you heathens!" Ben yelled and slipped into the truck. "After party here we come!" 

"Ben why are you always so loud!" Anna cupped her ears. 

"Can anyone be quiet for five minutes, Please!" Ben shouted. I chuckled and watched them be themselves for a little while longer. Ben was taking Liza to England for their honeymoon and said he was moving there next year. Evan was headed off with the military for his first rotation in two weeks, and Anna was headed off to college by the end of the week. 

Our family were abandoned children that had been forced together by insane circumstance. Even if we are are not bound by blood we are bound by love. Being with them was almost as if fate had thrown us together. Fate might have been my mom. 

She found all of us spread across the world and brought us together. That might entail a story all on its own. She never expected us to change the world or be anything other then kids. It was peaceful.

I looked outside the truck window and saw a bright light making its way towards me. So this is the end. So it was a car accident that killed me. That would explain all the pain. I hope I was the only one.

The void seemed changed after that. It seemed to be heavier, as if I was wadding through a swamp and no longer drifting. 

That's when I started to feel again.