sick | billie eilish

ch. 36

Billie

"Come on...," I reached out to graze the light stubble on his cheeks with my fingertips, "Don't look at me like that." He quickly thrashed away from my fingers, sending me a glare that could burn a hole in the wall. I watched him sunk his teeth further into the rag that was stuffed in his mouth while continuing to sneak touches on his battered skin. You could hear him straining against the rope tied around his torso and arms along with the back of the chair. He looked like a rabid animal who'd just been caught. Something about it made me stare longer than intended.

I stared at him some more and sat in the chair across from him, pulling my knee up to lean my head on it. "Give me a suggestion, I haven't done this in a while." All I got in return was more strained breathing so I leaned forward to tug at the torn fabric clutched tightly in his jaw. "Now what was that?"

"Fuck you." His colorful response was followed by an equally colorful bloody hock of saliva making a flat splat on the concrete in front of me, followed by silence between us with me looking up at him through my eyelashes. The clattering of a chair falling echoed behind me as I stood between his parted legs, both fists clenching around his neck, him gagging with tears starting to stream his cheeks. The veins on my wrists bulged through my skin while my hands shook from the sheer force I was trying to instill. His arms tried flailing without much success given the ropes around them, leaving only his fingers with the only limited freedom. I watched him cry quietly as he struggled to gasp and wheeze. There's just something about the look on someone's face when they genuinely don't know if they're about to die or not. It makes my stomach turn. My hands continued to assault his neck until I watched a blood vessel rupture in his eye before finally releasing.

His head limply fell forward, skin now an almost cartoony red. Soft taps coming from my shoes against the cement bounced off the walls while I walk over to the sink and turn the faucets handle, filling the random bowl I grabbed off the floor with water. I spun on my heels and threw the bowl of water at his hanging head, submerging him in the icy liquid and knocking him awake. Shaking his head full of cold water, a grin broke out on my lips at his right eye now taking on a deep shade of red. He looked up at me dazed before I gasped and clapped my hands. "Close call! Thought I lost you."

"How long was I.." He coughed

"Eighteen hours." I snapped my fingers in front of his face to center his wandering attention. He looked up at me confused and shook his head of soaked hair again. "Means eighteen more hours they weren't looking for you." I hummed, watching the lie drain some more hope from his eyes. Before I could think up some more teasing lines his deep and gravely voice started to shout at me.

"Why are you doing this?" He barked harshly at me. "Because you were eye-fucking my girlfriend in front of me, you grimy piece of shit." I bite out, yanking his head back by his hair to place emphasis behind the announcement. Another wheeze of strain and wincing of pain, then a stare of slow realization seeped over his face.

Heated pangs of anger soared in my stomach just by looking at him. He knows what he did. "Your girlfr-...," He fell quiet for a couple of moments, probably thinking of Jay, the thought almost made my hands wrap around his throat again. "Look, I.. I'm sorry. I should've asked or not even looked at her in the first place. I'm sorry, we can talk through this. You don't have to do this." His feeble attempt at escaping swam through my ears before getting shot down almost immediately. Without thought. "You're only sorry because I have you tied to a chair. You didn't seem sorry when you were staring at her chest were you." I huffed.

His upcoming excuse was cut off by my closed fist making violent contact with his lips, splitting one of them against his teeth.

I stepped back and looked at him, receiving a pitiful gaze in return. We sat in silence as he begged me for mercy. Silently at first before he started using his words and sly tongue, they came out sounding a bit strange as he tried to talk around his bleeding lip. His pleads sounded like tv static and his eyes seemed drained of all life. Any life I find valuable anyway. Just the sight of him makes me feel as if a red-hot knife is lodged in my throat. A certain nauseating feeling sits in me knowing he continues to breathe, I couldn't possibly think about letting him go now. I could never live with myself if I did.

His begging was cut short when I stepped back and sighed, turning to the old work desk that sat in the corner. Funny. My dad used to work from home down here. Wonder what he'd say if he found out what I use his old office for now. My eyes fell onto the two pieces of metal that sat on the desk.

I haven't worn these in a while. Last person who seen these was Robbie.

The realization made me chuckle smugly to myself.

These were the last things he seen.

"Begging won't get you anywhere, James." I tsk'd loudly whilst beginning to roll my sleeves up to my elbows. "But what I do find interesting," My sharp footsteps sounded off the walls announcing my movements towards the desk, picking the pieces of metal up. It felt heavy, the engraved cross pattern had a gravely feeling to it. "Are blood debts."

They felt snug when I pushed each of them onto my fingers using my fingertips before facing him again, flat eyes falling on him.

My clenched fist suddenly make contact with his stomach, tearing a butchered scream from his throat. His head hung as he wheezed and coughed and gagged. He somehow found the will to beg even through his choking, I grabbed his greasy hair and yanked his head up again. "And believe it or not, James, you are in debt to me."

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip before releasing it with a hiss. "So I wanna see how much blood you can give."

-

The chilly air nipped at my nose and cheeks as I speed walked my way up Jay's driveway to the door. Opening it to blindly walk in the warm behind it, shutting it behind me, instinctively acting out my alleged ritual of rubbing my chilly hands together, neatly kicking off my shoes and whispering a curse word because of said chilly-ness.

Often pointed out by Jay, 'You do it every time you come inside. You're like a cute little vulgar penguin.'

Tiptoeing through the living room, I catch a glimpse of one of the many framed pictures decorating the walls. All were either photos of Jay in previous stages of life or her now estranged parents.

I stopped in front of a baby picture of her, she couldn't have been older than a year. Aside from her being painfully cute to no one's surprise, I noted how her eyes looked the same. Dark and big. As if everything she'd ever laid eyes on had been the most fascinating thing she's ever seen. I've always loved babies. But this one is my favorite.

Continuing through the dark living room and instinctively turning the corner into the hallway, I kept moving until I saw a familiar door with a light illuminating the end of it. The comforting scent of our mixed perfumes hit my nose before I reached the door. My own usually being sweet and heavy like vanilla, and Jay's favorite that smells like a mix of tobacco and cherries. Upon entering, I laid eyes on a beautiful sleeping body on the bed, tv sounding quietly for background noise. It's been too long since I've last seen her, the missing ache strong and present in my chest just after the two days we were apart. I felt my heartstrings tug some more as I watched her sleep. The feeling wasn't entirely pleasant. But it feels good knowing I felt it because of her. Refusing to waste anymore time I shucked off my coat and neatly hung it in the closet before crawling onto the soft sheets towards her.

Laying my head on her chest, the subtle, slow beat filled my ear as my hands wandered under the blanket until I felt her hand before linking it with my own. The physical effects of my busy day started to seep into my body making me release a sigh against Jay's shirt.

She smells really good.

-
so... it's been a long three months...

i missed writing so bad but my brain literally stopped operating with this book smh my head

in other words ... i'm coming back but im *HOPING* to release chapters consistently so i can finish this book and cause you emotional distress ily bye <3333