Who am I?

First Tattoo

~" Her fune..ral was ye...yes..terday." I say my voice breaking. " How can you do this to me, right after asking me to move in with you, how could you ditch me like that?" I almost scream at the phone. ~

After taking a long bath, I couldn't sleep, seeing Karl on that bench has been really triggering. The memories surrounding the funeral that I've been desperately trying to push back have nothing to stop them from coming to the front of my mind anymore. It's already 5 am, by that time Reginald is usually up and preparing himself to go on a run, and fair enough after a couple more minutes I hear the blender going at it, the wonderful melody that has been waking me up since I was 10 years old. Reginald is only one year older than me and some might say that he's more grounded than I am. I'll have to admit that he started taking his future very seriously at a pretty young age despite my parents' lax-natured parenting. He wants to be a doctor, a psychologist to be exact, so he takes mental health very seriously. He softly knocks at my door. I get up to open the door.

"Lily." he says while pulling me into a hug, "Good morning, sorry for the regular ruckus"

"No, no" I reply jokingly "I love our regular routine." 

We both chuckle. 

"Nori not here yet?" I ask. 

Nori is 25, She works a night shift as a registered nurse at the St Tomas Hospital. She usually comes home around the time Reginald goes for his run. She used to be a traveling nurse but she took a break when mom died to quote"Take care of the family." She is the closest adult we have at the moment since our dad died when I was only 3 years old, I have almost no memories of him. All I have are the stories of the rest of the family that are old enough to remember, tell me. But from what I know that death was not easy on Nori, she was young when it happened and close to our father, it is because of him that she became a nurse as he was one himself.

 "Not yet, must have been a long night though!".

"Mine was long as well by the way."

"What happened? Give me the tea!" He answers intrigued

I tell him everything about seeing Karl, what happened and how I felt about him being there. 

"I have to say that I am proud of you for taking the step of staying on that bench, I know how hard it can be. But, Well he didn't wait to see you get inside, so that's already a red flag and matches his character," He says jokingly, but I do see his point. "But after all the hurt he caused do you really want to go back there?" 

"First thank you for acknowledging that" I say proudly! " And I mean since mom's death, I've kept my distance from him and I was really surprised to see him on that bench as I said, and to be honest I didn't expect to feel that happy about him being there, but what really got me is the fact that even before I knew it was him that I felt so comfortable in his presence, I mean wouldn't you consider that a sign or something?"

"I don't know! I do believe that energy matters and all, and if you do feel like you have unfinished business with him, you can invite him over tonight, after our little rendez-vous today."

At that moment the door flung open and Nori pops up, laying herself on the side of the bed that was empty. 

"I hope you don't have any blood or nothing on you" I say calmly looking at her. Silently threatening her to clean up my sheets if she does.

" No, I took a shower" She mumbles "At Jerry's." Jerry is her boyfriend. 

"Oh, that's why you're home so late" Reginald reply chuckling, looking at his phone. " Did you get some workout in?"

"No, but I did get a massage in." She says getting up a little to put her head on my thighs. I immediately start playing with her locs. I love them, she started them with our father when she was 5, I saw some pictures of him and his locs went all the way to his waist. I can confirm that he looked very hot with them as well. Just saying, not being weird, it's just factual. " So! What are we talking about?" She asks.