Smudged lines || Jc Caylen

[1]

depression
dɪˈprɛʃ(ə)n/

noun

1.
feelings of severe despondency and dejection.
"self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression"

Depression is a common mental disorder that presents with depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure, decreased energy, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, and poor concentration.

Depression. you feel like a prisoner in your own body, you feel tired, you just wanna sleep and never wake up, hoping you'll wake up when everything is going to be fine.

You just always feel lonley, and that's the worst part, is that, when you're depressed, you're surrounded by people, but you still feel alone.

-

//Ellie//

I threw my bag on the floor, sitting, and quickly placing my head on the table, as soon as I entered the class. I breathed in, and let out a loud sigh. I could feel Skyler staring at me weirdly, I could feel her eyes on me.

"You wanna talk about it?" She breathed out. I sighed, tapping my pencil on the table. I lifted my head, removing some strands from my face and placing it behind my ear. I finally made eye contact with Skyler. She had a concerned look on her face.

"Not now Sky, not really in the mood," I paused, biting my lip. I looked down and stared at my Doc Martins. "I just wanna forget about it and have fun." I continued.

"Don't let her ruin your day, girl. You know how much I hate seeing you sad because of her." She pouted. I looked at her, smiling at her childish pout. "I'm not sad, I lost my feelings, to be honest, but you know what," I paused again. "Fuck her." I laughed.

Sky laughed along. "There's the cute laugh, now where's my happy little Ellie with the good hair?" She nudged me. I grinned, then biting my lip. "She here." I posed.

It was silent, so silent that I can even hear my heart beating. Not until Mrs. White came in, flashing a warm smile, looking like she had some news, hopefully some good news. I can't remember the last time I heard good news. "Good Morning class," She placed some papers on her disk and stood up straight again.

"Today there will be a new student that will be joining us for the rest of the year. He or She will be coming in any minute." She smiled, sitting on her desk and started taking attendance.

"Oh I hope it's a he, I'm curious." Skyler said, placing her hand under her chin. I knew she was day dreaming. "Earth to skyler," I waved my hands infront of her face. I think she came back to reality, she shook her head and looked at me. "Sorry I just imagined Zac Efron walking in." Skyler placed her hands on her heart. Typical Sky. "Shocker." I snickered.

There was literally nothing to do, and when I say nothing, I mean nothing. Mrs. White was doing some paper work. Queen bee's were fixing their makeup. Jocks were showing off their muscles, as usual. Emo, Scene, and Goth's were being all dark and mysterious. The others were just talking and some was minding their own business.

I turned to Sky, hoping that she was free to talk, maybe gossip. She was scrolling through Twitter. I didn't wanna interrupt her. I just plugged in my earphones, jamming to Russ.

All the times my mom cried cause she ain't know what else to do
All the times she lost hope cause she ain't know what else to lose
All the times I shoot shots cause I don't what else to shoot.

pull the trigger, ain't nobody gonna do it for you, Pull the trig-

Suddenly the song stopped, probably because pull the earphones from my ears. "Bitch you ruined the moment." I playfully rolled my eyes. "I'm in the mood to gossip." She said, taking her Mac lipstick from her pocket, opening a mirror, and started applying it.

"I was too, like Three minutes ago, but you were busy with Twitter, probably stalking Zac Efron." I giggled. She shrugged, smirking after.

I heard the door swung open. I didn't mind looking, I was staring at my phone. I felt Sky nudging me "Ellie!" she whispered. I looked up, searching for whatever Sky was nudging me for. Something caught my eyes.

"Hello Mrs-" He paused. He looked at the paper on the door and looked back at Mrs. White. "White." He smiled. Can I say that he literally had a smile that could end wars? His perfect teeth were incredibly white. I'm melting on the chair, literally melting. Wait,

Ellie you just fucking saw him you don't even know his fucking name, calm your tits, you didn't even focused on his features.

Yeah , seriously I just saw him. At this point, and for some reason, the whole class was staring at him, mouths open, whispers.

"You must be the new kid, would you like to introduce yourself?" Mrs. White smiled. The boy turned, facing the class. He took a look at the class, while he was looking, may I say we just made eye contact, he looked at me for a good Five seconds.

"Uh-oh I'm, um." He stuttered while looking at me. He shook his head, straightening up. "I'm Justin, Justin Caylen. B-but I prefer being called Jc," He paused, flashing his million dollars smile again. "That's what everyone call me." He giggled, damn.

"I moved here from San Antonio, Texas." He scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah I guess that's it."

"Nice to meet you Justin, you may take a seat." Mrs. White pointed at a random empty seat. He smiled, fixing his backpack, started walking to an empty seat, which was, to my luck, two steps away from where me and Sky were sitting.

"El, you should take a pic, like right now, you look so fucking good." Skyler squealed. I looked at her weirdly, raising one eyebrow. "Seriously stand infront of the window." Before I could say anything she got up and pulled me to the window. She grabbed my phone and unlocked it.

"Okay, Slay it girl." She said holding my phone. I chuckled and posed. She stick her tongue out, as if she's concentrating. "Perfect!" She squealed again, handing me my phone.

If you're wondering why we aren't studying, and instead we're taking selfies and blabbing. Well, it's just the first week of school, and half of the classes we don't do much, teachers say they want us to get used to eachothers and socialize.

We sat headed to our seats again. I took a look at my phone. "Sky, I look like a potato." I made a disgusted face. She looked at me with wide eyes, "If you trying to get both your nipples ripped off say that shit again." I just laughed, a little bit too much. I calmed. "Post this flawless shit on insta," Sky demanded. I just couldn't say no. I opened Instagram and posted the picture.

"Happy?" I breathed out. She hummed in answer. For some reason I felt some eyes on me. I sat straight, taking the small mirror from Sky's desk and opening it. I started fixing my hair and makeup. I still feel someone staring, I tried to ignore it but I couldn't. I looked to my left, all I see is Sky watching some tutorials on YouTube, and what's beside her is a window, so no. I looked infront, no. I turned to my left. I saw that Justin guy staring at me. I gave him a confused look. He just smirked and winked.

Stop! My heart Can't handle this!